People feel entitled to know you. It's an ego trip.
People's ego even emerges in how they relate to you. They want to feel in control of your persona and be able to feel like they " know" you, so if you do veer from some new way of being, they get to throw in the old you in your face to appease there own ego. Ooh, " I knew you haven't changed", I know you still want to do that." They can't let it go.
We are naturally creatures of habit and consequently, when people are used to your habits, they get to a level of comfort in which they assume your predictability. They assume they know what you're thinking and feeling. Some people even say to you, "I know you better than you know your self." Even if there was truth in the likelihood of them guessing your thought and behavior patterns in the past, what happens you begin to change?
People feel they are entitled to know you.
They project an idea, the previous idea of who you used to be. They don't acknowledge your transformations until much afterward. They try to push you to be who you were. No matter whether your changes seem positive or negative, it's challenging for those closest to you to acknowledge. Whether you used to seem rather gentle, and now speak up with harsh tongue. If you used to be really extroverted and hungry for attention, and now you lay low. Maybe you used to have an addictive habit and are on a road of recovery.
I discuss this often with people who are aware of how they are changing, and it's something I think of often.
People assume positive change means perfection. I've had people throw behaviors in my face and say, oh what about self love? It doesn't bother me because they're judgement has nothing to do with me. When I know a past Tiffany would have went off or interrupted someone and the present doesn't, that's proof enough. Or if I know I would've jumped to certain assumptions and judgements, and now I don't, I know that's growth. You know not to run a red light or to come to a complete stop at a sign, but guess what, you might bypass that rule if you feel like you're in a hurry or under certain conditions. Awareness does not lead to perfection.
It's easy to be judgmental. It's habit. I've had to let go of a lot of expectations and ideas I have of people all the time. It's a challenge. It's something I work on everyday, that's why I don't take it personal when others want to project their assumptions on me. But in all of our journeys we must be aware, speak up and apologize when we inaccurately project something on to someone else. Likewise, we don't have or need to feel obligated to correct one another for an incorrect projection.
People feel entitled to know you.
You don't ever need to justify or defend who you are, it takes too much energy. People don't like being wrong anyhow, it's displeasing to their ego. Just be confident in your transformation, who you are, and wherever you are on your journey.
People feel entitled to know you, but that has nothing to do with you or your reality. So continue to BE who you choose to BE.
By: Tiffany Wright