One of the major challenges for people in romantic relationships is reflecting the love they expect from another. Far too often, this begins even before a relationship begins. For example, I hear women say they want men with incomparable amounts of wealth, fancy homes, cars and travelling privileges and they themselves may have poor credit, no home, a very basic car, and can barely afford a passport. Now there's nothing wrong with whatever a woman may or may not have, but the point is there is often an unequal distribution of expectation towards someone to give you what you may not be able to give them...not even a fraction.
Now we get to love. We have to consider our ability to love others as a tank. We can only give what we have. We only have the capacity to really love another because of the love we can have for ourselves and others. It's not always just about what we expect, its' about what we give. I know many friends that will cheat on their partner, but feel disrespected if they did that to them; or who are very selfish with money, but want their mates to give them the world; or who verbally disrespect their partners, and will walk away as soon as it happens to them. We are far from the days where a majority of women will stay in a relationship that they will be trapped or abused in. Now this is in no way to negate the fact that every 9 seconds a woman in the US is assaulted or beaten or that in the US, more than 3 women per day are murdered by their significant others, and that domestic violence is a rapid and pervasive social issue still alive and well. Yet, in the average relationship that may not be marked by severe inter partner violence, people don't feel the need to just exhaust all possible time in a relationship; they are most likely to leave when they are fed up, as reflected in our divorce rates.
To Mr. Thicke's case, whatever occurred between the two, encouraged Paula to step back from the relationship.If you missed it, Sunday night, he performed a new single targeted towards his estranged wife . Only those two know, but from his songs he suggests, he didn't treat her right. In what some would call a purely romantic gesture, Robin has began a campaign highlighting his recent separation tragedy (which he's financially profiting from) of singing songs celebrating Paula, and posing the case of why she should take him back. His words are so focused on constantly acknowledging how he was wrong, and how he wish he could go back to happier times, I wonder, has Robin explored the root of his behavior? Has he explored the root of his spiritual and mental state that triggered his actions because that's where the catalyst lives. Apologies are beautiful but change comes from a mental and spiritual place. How you treat someone comes from an interaction between the ego and your sense of self love. If that love tank is not filled up, and you don't see how others should be loved just as you want to be loved, apologies only go so far. Learn to love yourself, so that you may learn to love others. Think about people in your life who you may wish bad on. Think about when you downplay or express consistent discontent in the choices another make. Think about hurt, pain, jealousies, or anger you are harboring against another, whether you do or do not interact with them. Do you look at others and secretly repulsively judge their appearance? If someone breaks their word, do you cut them out your life for good? These are occurrences that we all share, or have experienced, whether 1 or all. This is why mindfulness is important and a love walk is a life journey. We must release expectations that we have for others because we often fall short in one way or another. The point: Give Love, and you will receive it; and if you don't, take that relationship as a lesson of what to look for differently, or further examine your perceived value and worth.
Written by: Tiffany W.
See the video here: http://www.bet.com/video/betawards/2014/performances/video-playlist.html#!Robin-Thicke-Makes-Another-Plea-For-Paula