Hmmmm what do the following words mean to you?
I'm not going to make this one of those "top 10 signs" post. I don’t know if I can tell you what the specific signs of a healed heart are because we are all different, but I know exactly what they are Not! The above. If these ill emotions exist in your space of Being you have a Broken heart. Broken by loss, a friend, family, or romantic partner. When I write, I write from my experience. Whole hearted and true. Sometimes the best way to know something “good” is to know first hand what the total opposite is. We truly can only know "better" when its comparative to our previous conditions. I can tell you what a healthy relationship is because I've experienced what its not. I can share my ideas of self love because I know what lack looks like. I can tell you what beneficial decisions look like, when I reap the benefits of them and the reflect differently than other choices I’ve made in life. I can tell you what Healing looks like because I have lived it, and am living it!
This morning I was speaking to a dear friend of mine who lost a parent, wants to move to be closer with her family so she can heal, and not feel so lost in life. She told me sometimes she doesn’t know if she can just bear this life. And not only did that sentiment totally resonate with me, but it made me think of a book I need to re-read as an adult, The UnBEarable Lightness of BEing. It’s a heavy book, and I have no idea why we read it in AP English because the themes are in general very spiritual and metaphysical, and way to heavy for some 16 year olds haha. Essentially the book explores how we live with so much resistance in life, trying to control it, & how we feel; judging ourselves, and situations, and we don’t know how to just BE… even though BEing is parallel to a floating like feeling, in which we can be in-tuned to the endless space within us, just BEing seems unbearable. Accepting death, loss, hurt, pain, disappointment feels unbearable but creating resistance and developing negative and maladaptive forms of coping, is what really makes life harder. It seems unbearable to just feel and grow thru the hell, and we try to absolutely avoid it; not accepting things for what they are, This notion totally connects to some new and revisited lessons I've experienced.
I shared a book with my friend (among others) I had recently completed that saved me, A New Earth by Ekhort Tolle. It saved me, whole heartedly. Since the ending of a major relationship, I've experienced all the above emotions, coupled with what seemed like a turmoil of other life challenges…all of course when judged in my head, are completely false. You know, the classic life is 10% what happens to you, 90% how you react. Yet, my old reaction style wouldn’t have necessary been physical or verbal, but very much emotionally and mentally intensive. Which means I could easily absorb guilt and all that which is above. The situation was a breaking point because I consciously began to explore my decisions, my thinking, and behavior, and boy it brought up things I've never faced. It became a whirlwind of ins and outs of love. Some days I could BE and give love, others, not so much. SO I became very aware of my healing process. But yesterday I experienced a great sign of healing, I was able to listen to John Legends album!!
Let me tell you why that’s important. When my wound was fresh (and kind of even before realness went down, me, a hopeless romantic, who loves love songs, shows, movies, and everything in between, didn’t want to voluntarily watch, listen or read anything that had to do with romance. 2 of my favorite movies, Eat Pray Love and The Princess & the Frog even got ignored for some months. My favorite indulgence of Say Yes to the Dress...ppshhht please. John Legend, who is one of my favorite artists, was completely ignored when he came out with his album. In the past, I'd wait impatiently, and get his albums m the first day it came out, and I didn’t even listen to it until yesterday It's been out since August 2013) . Now I cant stop listening to it! I’m not ready for love, but I’m not allergic to the notion of it.
When you heal, your heart and BEing is open to the goodness and beauty of life! When you are open to it, opportunities overflow, and life looks brighter. You are more patient, compassionate, understanding, kind, gentle, loving towards yourself and others. Your life truly becomes a reflection of the frequency you vibrate on. It takes time, but we can learn to accept and feel each moment and situation for what it is, while also working on ourselves to dig deep and reveal the truths behind the pain. Your life will never be what it could be, until you push yourself to be what you can be.
BE Love~BE Whole~BE You
Written By: Tiffany Wright