What is it about most of us feeling compelled to always give an answer to something? I mean, give an answer when we know, we don't know the answer, but we're guessing. Is there really a problem with saying I don't know?
Do you think that makes you less credible as an experienced BEing to not know the answer to something? Let's take a moment and think about this. If you're ever with a child, especially under the age of 9, you will experience the most intense curiousity ever, and it will be masked in, How comes and Why does. I always find it entertaining that adults just rarely feel the urge to admit they don't know or don't remember the answer to the question at hand. Even as adults, questions never stop being raised, but instead the questions get deeper. Why do you have committment issues? Why do you have such major self esteem issues? Why can't you keep a job? Why do you continue to date bad apples? Why are you unhappy? What are you doing with your life right now? How do you feel? and Why? When are you going to do X, Y, Z? Guess what...YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS! It's ok to not know. It's ok to not even have an answer. Just consider exploring the topic at hand. We learn to have an answer for everything because if you don't, then you'll SEEM clueless. Answering another's questions about YOUR life isn't about you, it's about them. Saving face so you look good for THEM. Making them FEEL at ease or intrigued by what you do. This is most evident in a work or even miltary setting. An unspoked golden rule is that you never say I don't know. If you don't know you just respond that you will find out or you've been working on exploring a certain area. Heavens forbid the honesty of I don't know. Think about the pressure you feel in that moment? Especially with the question, How do you feel? What if you don't want to label your sentiment as bad or good? Maybe you want to say "eh", or, I don't know. I bet doing that would stir up a reaction because you're providing an answer outside the norm, and guess what, thats ok. The reality is, we deal with more pressures then we realize, and we wear more masks than we realize. We do more than we need to do to appease and impress others. Just let off the pressure. If you don't know, you don't know. Women have so much more social pressure to stay "relevant" and in the know. Everything from fashion trends, to health and fitness trends, to even cultural colloquialisms. When you don't know whats current, do you feel kind of icky or feel the need to apologize that you don't know? I have a 12 year old sister, that's pretty much the only reason I know about certain topics. Other than her, I'm pretty good with context clues and lastly, most phrases that have popped up, have been lonnnnnnnnnnng used in the LGBTQ community and have recently gone main stream. What do I mean? Fleek Yaaaaas Slay Yes Hunty Beat Face, Face Beat, etc. Bye Felicia "Tea" No Flex Zone I could go on. Nonetheless, I don't feel compelled to become a cultural puppet for a sense of relevancy. Likewise, if I don't know an answer to something whether in the realms of pop culture, spirituality, education, politics, or world events, I'm ok saying, "hmm I'm not sure." The point is, there's always something you're not going to know the answer to and that's ok. There's no need to pretend like you know that new song because everyone around you does. Give it up and just BE. Its much more comfortable to BE yourself, BE present, and BE humble enough to learn something new, than to feel like you have to have an answer to everything, be on top of everything, be the best at everything, and stay young forever. |
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