What happens when you're in a good space but you're in a relationship with someone who's depressed, an energy vampire, or extremely negative and you care about them so much you want to help them?
The relationship you're involved in somehow causes you to shift the focus from loving on your self to being completely consumed with that person. You actually begin to not only absorb their energy but you let go of your own self love and care practices.
As a loving individual, you walk in love and with that comes empathy, the ability to emotionally connect to another person's experience. As beautiful as it is to be empathic, it can also be rather draining. When there's someone you love a lot who's suffering, it's easy to want to play the role of savior.
In your role as saviour you may go the distance to reach out to that person. That's beautiful because we should all extend love to those around us, but try to understand that you cannot save anyone. You can however positively impact someone by your presence and the way you live your life. Which is all the more reason why it's essential for one to continue to uphold self love practices no matter what's going on in your life or in a relationship.
Release guilt, judgement and pressure you've put on yourself to help someone else. Sometimes just saying, I'm here for you, is all you can really do.
The presence of their struggle is not your priority. It doesn't mean you shouldn't care but often times it can be easy to think you're not a good enough friend or partner if that person continues to struggle.
Accept their journey for what it is and accept your role in their life.
If you find this happening, make sure to revisit your self love tool kit. Are you pulling out the tools everyday? every week? as needed? or never?
If the trouble in someone else's life has caused you to go to a dark place or even a place of defeat or guilt, its time to take a step back and re-focus on yourself.
Change and healing comes when people are not only ready, but when they see positive models of who they can become. The best route of action you can take is to continue to love them, encourage them, and model positive healthy behaviors without an expectation that you will change them. They will see you. They will acknowledge you. They will change on their own and in the process, you can still preserve your sense of well being.
What are those activities or practices that help keep you peaceful? Still? Joyful? Playful? Healthy?
Expressive activities like writing, singing, dancing, playing music, or playing an instrument? Maybe spiritual activities such as praying, burning incense/candles, meditating or reading spiritual texts? What about exercising? Or maybe simply watching a feel good film? Whatever it is, hold on to those activities and do them as often as possible.
By: Tiffany W.