Today I had an interesting conversation with a close loved one about self love. He asked me, so if you teach people self love, when did you learn that you didn't love yourself anymore? His question sparked a sense of curiosity within myself. When people who are not purposely pursuing a self love journey hear or see others speaking about it, do they feel that those journey walkers do not love themselves?
Well this post is centered around my response to his question. I cannot state a specific moment in which I can remember realizing that I didn't love myself because I do not think that was ever the case. There were absolutely moments in which I said, ok if I didn't feel as broken I wouldn't have done or allowed XYZ, or if I was more secure or comfortable with myself I wouldn't have said, done or thought XYZ. There was never one event or time that I stopped loving myself. I feel we are too multifaceted for that to occur.
I do believe we may honor and accept one part of ourselves, while neglecting another. Self-love is not always a black and white concept. It's not that you have or don't have it. Sometimes its about to what degree it exists. Life is complex and so are human beings. You may honor your potential, dreams and desires by living a life of ambition, but despise looking at certain parts of your body. You may live a super fit and healthy lifestyle while speaking envy, negativity, and jealousy towards other beings everyday. You may honor your body, but there is something in your spirit that you don't honor, therefore you curse those around you. It can truly be that complex because we are literally on a journey.
I don't believe that there is a point in which you reach a supreme status of knowing. There's always more to love, more to heal, and more ways to grow. Self Love is all about awareness and acceptance. See the value in learning is that you realize you don't know what you don't know until someone or something introduces the topic to you. Take self love for instance. People don't commonly use this phrase in their everyday vernacular. Before your (and my) introduction to the word self love, you were familiar with it's manifestations: self esteem, confidence, healthy relationships, and maybe self worth. But it was only after realizing that self love is the umbrella in which all these concepts exist, that you can now take a step back and constantly evaluate whether you are operating out of self love.
Don't feel obligated to stating whether you love yourself. I think it might be a small fraction of people who hate themselves and literally everything about their life. Their is also a small fraction of people who are not aware of how they think, act and feel. Just commit to working on your relationship with yourself everyday. Everyday looks different, and every day you might be grounded in a different truth, it's ok. Explore who you are and learn to love it.
Written by: Tiffany W.