Everyday I have conversations with women whom I've never met, but connect with so quickly and on a very spiritual level. This I believe is because we are all connected and we go through very similar phases when it comes to a journey of self love, or in actually just love of self and being love. In the midst of these conversations, the idea of self sacrifice always come up. Sacrificing self care for the sake of a partner, children, career, just because of the desire to GIVE GIVE GIVE! or HEAL HEAL HEAL, or even SAVE SAVE SAVE.
One true lesson that I learned: You can only truly give what you have. When you give of yourself, it takes emotional and mental energy. Emotional and mental energy which we don't realize is pretty much depleted when it comes down to the time when we need to take care of ourselves, if we are not constantly filling it up.
Think of your BEing as a gas tank. You cannot fill the tank up once, and expect to provide endless energy and fuel to other cars (people). The tank will only go so far, and if you fill others with your supply before at least keeping reserves for yourself, your tank will be empty. There are endless cases of this. The one that comes to mind is the classic situation of the new found riches one attains with celebridom...and an individual chooses to save the neighborhood, give to every cause and every person in their life...and ends up financial dyer. In one of my cases, I would see Social Workers burned out on a daily basis because they expended so much energy caring and holding for their clients, yet not taking time to care for themselves. Or an even more common example, the mommy that gives gives gives, yet never takes time to herself...she ends up getting ill, developing insomnia, or worst entering depression or having anxiety issues.
Too often, women as naturally nurturing beings fall into this ploy. My suggestion, STOP!
As a business owner and leader, I have truly understood the importance of building mental and emotional strength due to attracting what you want in life. When you want too attract success, consistency, wealth, and even supportive, valuable people, you have to be that, and you have to be able to emotionally and mentally "support and hold" for those people. There's been periods where I felt week, and I didn't hold for others; I was caught up in judging myself versus loving myself. My true journey began when I cut my hair last April, as a way to learn self love through acceptance. Once that happened, my focused shift to being love, so that I can give and share with others; learning to face pain, challenges, anger, and forgiveness. Two pivotal books for me were "Reduce ME to LOVE" by Joyce Meyer and "The 4 Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. They opened my self awareness and I try to stay aware of my inner thoughts and feelings towards myself and others on a constant basis. Its a journey, and I know I'll never be perfect, but I learned how to shift from just giving giving giving, and learning to BE, and receive.
Likewise, women are too occupied giving, and decide to neglect themselves, therefore over time, giving becomes burdensome, challenging, and sometimes despised. Everyone has a tipping point, just like every care has different gas mileage on it. When you are E, and you don't fill up...that's the end of it.
Some of the surest ways I can tell a woman lacks honoring herself in love, is by her lack of a diet, frequent exercise, and happy time. Its tempting to sacrifice and save everyone because its in our nature, but there is surely a time and place for everything. Find something to restore your happy and flow everyday, preferably in the morning. Dance, sing, workout, read, pray, meditate, watch something motivational or funny...whatever it is...do it with the intention of BEing whole; of BEing peace; of BEing LOVE; of BEing you.
When you are filled with love, you walk in walk in love; you radiate love; and you only receive that which nourishes you, while still being able to love any object around you. It is a journey to get to this place, but its also not a destination. Make your life, a walk in love.
Written By: Tiffany Wright