Heartbreaks are wack, but they happen and can fuel amazing growth and transformation in life. Dissapointment arises when you live in expectation, but peace can be present when you live from a place of openness and acceptance. This is not to say you have no standards, or you're not allowed to feel pain or hurt,
but how you survive or thrive in that post heartbreak time is determined by which space you operate out of; judgment or acceptance. As I often acknowledge, pieces of advice like this are definitely easier said than done, but its a sure enough process that you can go thru to help you heal.
Here are some tips I've found helpful:
1. Don't be angry
For whatever reason, you dodged a bullitt, and you are blessed to be separated with someone not aligned with you at the time. It's all about perspective. We are not all the same, so it's unfair to assume that others will always feel how we feel, think how we think, and act how we act. Try to accept the Heartbreaker's decision/ train of thought, and be mindful of what you will do differently in the future.
2. Hindsight is 20/20
Reframe from thoughts of regret. This can be a tough one. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. Been there, done that, umm check please? We are the sum lf our actions and experiences, even the one 's diverged. Take the good of the sitiation with you in the future, and look at any possible lessons
3. Don't blast your business on social media
The easiest thing to do, is take advantage of social media and go on a venting rant. Don't be a she-woman manhater. If you want to write, get a journal or create a blank word document on your phone or computer. Unless your rallying up positive upliftment, or offering major epiphanies for others to connect to, keep it to yourself. It's necer necessary to defame anyone's character no matter what they do.
4. Allow yourself to feel
There are some people who feel everything, and because of some situations, can easily get caught in a downward spiral of blame, sadness, pity, regret, and depression. Others, may have a get-that-dirt-off your shoulders, nonchalant attitude and can move on from anything as if nothing happened. The goal is to allow yourself to be somewhere in between. Feel, reflect, and then move on. We are all human, and it's ok to feel hurt and pain from disappointing situations, but always remember the pain will only last as long as you give power to it. When you're ready to stand up, smile , and keep fiercely strutting, only then, will you begin healing.
5. Live Life.
It's easy to sit in, stay sad, eat everything in sight (or completely nothing if you're one of those types) because of such an event. But BEautiful, you're going to have to put effort in igniting your joy. Exercise, dancing, listening to uplifting music and watching comedies work for me, find what works for you. BE around loved ones, go explore your city; BE bold and take yourself on a date. Read a new book. Just make sure to keep going; not as a means to distract yourself, but as an act of self love, and knowing you deserve to keep living no matter what.
Everyone deals with life differently, but like I said, just deal with it. Choosing to deal with it, also means to reflect and grow, and that's the most important thing you can do. Secondly it's about finding the healthy place of taking responsibility vs. not blaming yourself. We don't ask for terrible things to happen, but consider if at any moment you saw signs? you ignored your intuition? you stayed longer than you needed to? you based your relationship on hope and potential vs. reality? you didn't feel like you could have anyone else? and maybe none of these come up, and you and your partner just wasn't working out anymore. No problem. Make sure to reflect and grow .
If you're not going through recent or prolonged heartbreak, make sure to that you be there for someone who is. Regardless if they don't want to talk to you, sometimes just knowing that someone is willing to comfort you, reminds you that you are loved and are special.
The best way to heal hurt, is with love. When someone is fueled or driven by love, their sense of joy radiates on high, and when joy is present, there is light in the world. BE love and give love. No one knows how you truly can be affected by heartbreak, nor do you
Written by: Tiffany W.