Me in Botswana. April 2017.
Many people don't know themselves, are uncomfortable with themselves, and experience voids within their lives because they can't stand to be alone.
This is why some are constantly in need of being in social settings, being the center of attention, being in romantic relationships, or glued to their tv/laptop/tablet or phone.
We live in a time where not only are the art of relationshipping and building intimacy with others are issues, but experiencing intimacy with ourselves is even a greater issue.
There are so many distractions that people have that keep them from having time with and by themselves. The cure? Creating solo experiences
Solo experiences can be doing anything by yourself:
I started employing solo experiences for myself around 20, when I was in college. As I was regularly in therapy at the time, myself and my therapist, found it beneficial for me to start deplugging and really getting to know myself, by doing things alone. Over the years I just got so comfortable, that now I just feel like I LOVE being by myself. My favorite past time has become travelling solo.
Me on the train in Amsterdam. April 2017
Solo experiences are key to me re-grounding myself, and I have been in need of a major overhaul. Part of the reason there haven't been frequent post was due to blockages I was having around creativity and expression. I somewhat lost touch with myself because of my anxiety, depression and grief. I went on an amazing 3.5 week trip through Southern Africa, and it was astounding. I will surely do some posts on my travels, but I want to just share why travelling solo for me, helped me grow deeper in love with myself.
Me in Maboneng, Johannesburg, South Africa. March 2017.
Me in Granada, Spain
Being alone, I had to trust myself, my judgement and discernment. Travelling solo as a woman, is still a foreign concept to some people, so I had make sure I was open enough to my experiences, but o guard about where I went, and who I interacted with.
I got to see myself through others eyes, and re-realized, wow I'm pretty dope. Sometimes its affirmations from others that leave us to recognize the light within ourselves. For me personally, I rarely acknowledge or give myself credit because I feel like I'm just living my life the best way I know how, but I recognize, just as encourage my readers, we must honor ourselves on a daily basis.
Being alone, always allows one to observe their inner thoughts, and what are thoughts tend to be, is a major indication of whats going on in our lives, or how our lives will be in the future. For me, my greatest moments of growth come when I am alone, with nothing to distract me.
With no alternative voices or stimuli, I can find it much easier to stay present because I am not obliged to give my attention to a person or thing (aka phone).
I believe you get to challenge your own self concept, and step beyond who you are or were, and decided in that experience, who do you want to be. Because an introverted person, on solo experiences, can find that when they want to, they surely can break out of their shell. Or a person that is always afraid of danger, can learn that in their boldness, the world may not be a scary as a place that they've previously thought it to be.
On my recent travel in South Africa, after disclosing my solo journey, many would say, you are so bold! When, in actuality, I don't think so.
I just leave you with this question, what are we afraid of in the world or within ourselves, to prevent us for spending long durations of time alone?