The first commandment of self love is: Honor Thyself.
What does that mean? It means to accept, acknowledge, recognize and take with pride, everything that you are. What makes us who we are?Our choices, our thoughts, what we decide to be, our experiences, our beliefs, and whatever composes our mind, bodies and spirits. For some people it’s easier to focus on the parts of their being that seem untouched, un-phased, un-wounded. The other parts, are typically ignored or looked at with shame; the SCARS.
Scars are the result of healing. An imprinted reminder of a painful experience. They can also be a consequence of an incident that resulted in major change, whether natural or not. Scars can be seen and unseen. They can be physical or emotional.
Far too often women are ashamed of their scars and today I ask you, may you choose to Be Proud? Be Proud of your scars, whether physical or emotional. They tell a story and are a shadow of your beauty.
With an obsession for perfection, women are ashamed of stretch marks, acne scars, moles, facial birthmarks and bruises. Too ashamed to wear certain pieces of clothing for the fear of judgement, ridicule, or glances you may get from someone else. In the end, does it matter?
If you lost or gained weight, had a baby, have marks from conditions like chicken pox, or whatever else, that is YOUR experience and has nothing to do with anyone else. You had that experience and you know what, millions of other women around you have had the same experience. You are human, change happens, scars occur. Embrace them, and proudly include your scars in your story.
What about the scars no one can see, but you walk around with shame because of their occurrence? An abortion? Infertility? Trust, hurt or abandonment issues due to a relationship? Sexual assualt? Emotional or Psychological Abuse? Self-imposed disappointment? Do you realize how much extra weight you carry in your body because you resist as oppose to embrace these incidents? Embrace does not mean you are happy or joyful that these events happened to you, but you accept that they are a part of your journey and you can continue to live. In Christianity there is the notion that God will give you beauty for ashes. It’s a beautiful concept and life truth, that once you give up what you deem as dead, hurtful, ugly, or negative, life will be more beautiful. Your spirit will be more at ease. Your mind and body will release whatever you’ve been holding on to.
We as women let the invisible scars keep us away from love in platonic, familial or romantic relationships. We let them become barriers to walk in our purpose when in actuality, embracing and accepting these scars can bring us closer to our purpose. We let the scars keep us away from a life of abundance, opportunity and fullness. Release the fear. Release the shame. If you are reading this, you are still here. You are strong. Those scars are sign of healing. Once you’ve healed, you have to give yourself permission to be more, do more, love more, and think higher of yourself and what life can offer.
Your past experiences shape you, but they do not define you. You define who you are. Walking proudly with your scars allows you to live in a space of freedom. Walking proudly with your scars gives someone else the power to be free.
By: Tiffany W.