Do you know what it feels like to be in love? Always thinking about someone? Wanting to spend as much time as possible with them? You feel like you know their every move. You only want the best for them and do everything you can to make sure they feel loved and appreciated. Now, what if that was the type of relationship you had with yourself?
See, right now I am so in Love with myself and my life, I feel all of the above and more. So much so, I had a long conversation with one of my best friends who wants to help me meet a nice guy, and I realized how unfocused or not concerned with certain dating aspects I was. I mean it was like filling out my OK Cupid all over again but live and in living color. All the questions he was asking made me realize, wow I am so focused on my own journey right now that for the first time, my hopeless romantic self hadn't really been thinking about daring and all its politics. That to me, says something. I've been in long term commitments (even if I was the most committed one) since 14 years old! Ha! The ideas of romance, love, marriage, stability, and partnership have always intrigued me. After my last relationship ended about a year ago I said, ok, it's all about you. Every since, that's what it's been. All about me and the extensions of me; my family, close friends, BE!, simple pleasures, fitness, writing, and most importantly, reconnecting to my spiritual self.
To me, not wanting to rush into anything or be preoccupied with others affirms how whole I feel and am. I'm not looking for anyone to complete me because I am whole and true. I know what I want out of life and my partner because I am learning who I am, and it feels great. I'm so focused on who I am and how I love myself that I'm not too occupied with how someone else can love me. I find that women find it difficult to be single. They believe something is wrong with them or in deep hopes for the nest Mr. Charming. No problem, but that's the old me.
When it comes to dating I know what I want on a spiritual, mental and emotional level , but it's a bit more challenging to think about what I don't want. Why? I've been training my mind to focus on abundance and all that I want in my life, as opposed to the opposite. Now this idea confused my friend hahaha. He kept asking what my deal breakers. Other than deep sprirituality, we had to actually go thru and talk it out. I used to have them, but I compromised in the past, so I wanted to have a different mental tie to the desires of a relationship. I laughed at his confusion, but to me, whatever you focus on in mind and emotion thats what you will attract. As I focus on celebrating life and myself, I whole heartedly believe I will attract someone who will do the same. Bottom line, even though I want to have someone special in my life, it's not a priority right now, I am. The challenge comes when the idea of a relationship is so important, but you lose your sense of self chasing it. That's when us ladies end up in sticky situations in which we devalue ourselves, change ourselves, and compromise our deepest desires. Women settle way too often because they are not confident enough in themselves and what they want, and I say, step 1 is falling in love with yourself. It always teaches you how to appreciate, honor and respect others, and teaches others to do the same for you. Some of your closest friends may not understand, but it's ok. Hopefully you'll have a good enough some support system who believes in growth and security because that's important. I'm open with close family and friends, and I feel blessed to always talk about my lessons in self love and my internal metamorphosis, and it's reassuring when they affirm my process. Every one needs a little affirmation and recognition, but even if you don't get it, it's ok. Love is a battlefield, and you have to be ready to go out and win. So how are you loving on yourself today?
Written by: Tiffany W.