Whenever I'm deep within a life lesson, I always find value in sharing it because that's what these gifts of "aha moments" are all about right? My topic of focus, the ego.
Our ego is such an interesting character. It's responsible for all the thoughts of should be, shouldn't be, not possible, I cant, invincibility and anything beyond just accepting BEing. The extremes of comparison, whether upward or downward, and anything in between.
Often when entering into a conversation with others, we listen or exist in a space of them vs. me. We compare as to why something someone says is "bad" or "good" for them; we "feel sorry for" or really admire the other. Even at times, we may feel angry or are really moved. Whatever comes up, more often then not, we look at others as if we are so separate than them. The truth, as read, and realized more and more, is that we are truly mirrors of one another. We can not only just be respectful and nurturing during listening, but we can really learn about ourselves.
Actually listening to and connecting to what others say, can teach us a lot about ourselves. It can tell us a lot about our pride, insecurity, emotional wounds, desires, and truths that we dare not truly express or realize. When listening becomes something for you and them, awareness is born. Until recently, I've never been a good listener. I grew up around analytical and expressive people, therefore that became my reality and communication style. Aggressive, Ms. Know-It-All, let me 1 up you with a fact, it's fine what you say but how about this! Unintentionally I would cut off people (I still do, and am constantly working on it) not to be rude, but I'd do so out of excitement of wanting to be heard.
It got to a point, where people in my life got to a point where they'd say, Tiffany, "You're not listening to me!" or "will you let me finish!" Haha...ok. Point taken. As I started to listen more, I realized I could learn a lot about myself. Listening to them and being aware of my thoughts. I can be in tuned with my judgements, assumptions, fears, doubts, and so many other layers of my ego. I've began to really connect to what people say, and have not only learned about myself, but from an authentic place, give love to others, strengthen my conversations, and improve some relationships.
Our egos run wild when we filter information others share. Being aware can be the difference of getting in an argument, abruptly walking away, or even thinking about why so and so did or said something. Relationships, communication, and who we are as beings can really be impacted by our sense of awareness, and ability to just be constant learners. I credit and recommend two phenomenal books for this awareness, The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and Eckhort Tole's, A New Earth for breaking these barriers.
If you are on a journey to transform, I challenge you to pay attention to how you listen. When you listen to others, do you find yourself being aware of what thoughts and emotions come up? Do you ever ask yourself, hmm why did I react that way inside? Why did I have an opinion about that story? Where did that opinion or belief come from? Is there really a right, wrong, good or bad?
I will leave you with this.
"I am the Smokey Mirror, because I am looking at myself in all of you, but we don't recognize each other because of the smoke in-between us. That smoke is the Dream, and the mirror is you, the dreamer."
Written By: Tiffany Wright