Don't be so hard on yourself.
You say you feel broken,
But you did not break yourself.
It was your mother, your father, your family, the system, the lovers, the friends, the acquaintances.
The lies, abuse, neglect, and sickness.
You took the brokenness and pursued what you thought was life but only seemed to be mirrors of your wounds.
Don't worry you can be healed if you want.
You can choose to be more, live more, and love more.
Brokenness is a state of mind. Its a state of helplessness that you do not have subscribe to.
I know sometimes you wonder, what's wrong with me?
Am I good enough?
Am I beautiful enough?
Am I smart enough?
I know sometimes you feel hopeless.
You see others smile and hope that your smile can be as genuine as theirs one day;
You see others in love, and you hope you can have a love as beautiful as that one day.
You see other women radiate, and hope that you could have that much confidence one day.
Sometimes you wish the cause of your pain didn't happen, but that is not self love.
That is not acceptance.
You must choose to evolve.
Own your hurt.
Honor your wounds.
Work towards healing and welcome with an open spirit, change, growth and transformation.
See seasons rotate, and caterpillars turn into butterflies, snakes shed their skins, and the leaves turn colors.
Look at your teachers...the creatures and life around you.
Look at the ocean, the moon and the sun. They love like you. They live like you. They are essential to the circle of life. They are one with you.
The moon spends most of its monthly parts in pieces but what everyone remembers is her fullness.
Her wholeness shines bright and illuminates the last. Ever so often, her wholeness emits colors that the world is fascinated at and gathers to see.
You will change and one day youll feel whole and then go thru a process of evolution once again.
Despite your wounds, choose to love yourself through and through; as you do so, you teach those around you how to love you too.
You will see that the greatest love, is the love you have for yourself.
By: Tiffany W.
"I'm so excited!"
"You got this"
"Yes! It's almost over. Wait...not yet? Omg that was only the half point!"
" I want this to be over!"
"Ugh why'd I do this"
" I am more than a conqueror. I can do this. I trained for this. Just think how good Boiling Crab is going to taste."
" My hip...my knee. I want to stop."
" Yessssss! I did it! Whoa! That was good!"
These are the incremental thoughts and sentiments I had last Saturday when I ran my first 15k Double Road Race. It's a new style of racing that provides an extra challenge for runners because you're essentially running 2 events in 1 day; a 10k=6.2 miles and then a 5k=3.1 which are separated by a mandatory recovery period.
The challenge comes during the second leg, after the recovery because your body has been resting and really believes its done with gruesome long distance running. To its suprise, you have to get back up and finish out the race. Now, I've been preparing for the race for about 6 weeks, but there's nothing like race day. New environment, different altitude, the distraction of hundreds of other people around you. It was challenging but so enlightening. Not only was I proud, but I placed 4th in my age division. Beyond the metal, there was so much gratitude for the journey getting to the finish line.
Physical fitness is more than an important activity for health and aesthetics (if thats your focus). It is the most simple test of mental strength. You get to see what type of person you are when things get tough, when you want to quit or when you're finding it difficult to just to keep moving.
How you speak to yourself really determines your beliefs, your faith and how healthy your relationship with yourself is. Do you speak words of encouragement and affirmation? Do you speak words of defeat? Do you focus on the unknown fearing for or worrying about the worse?
How do you love on yourself in the quiet, lonely amd intimate moments with yourself? Are you gentle? Do you speak power into yourself like you would do another?
Tuesday is deemable as #transformationtuesday across social networks, so today I ask, how can your mind be transformed? How can your relationship with yourself be transformed?
Despite the fact that my race was challenging, I would absolutely do it again! There were so many times I wanted to walk but I chose not to. Even if I slowed my pace, I was not going to quit. I was so proud of myself, I decided I would run a half marathon in November.
"The true measure of a (wo) man is not where (s) he stands in times of comfort and convenience but where (s) he stands at times of challenge controversy"- MLK
Stand strong. Do something that takes you out of your comfort zone. Whether big or small, physical or not, test yourself!
BE Strong. BE Transformed~
By: Tiffany W.
There's a whole lot that in occurs in our lives everyday. We`ve all had situations and circumstances that could have derailed our lives. We've been through major transitions that have brought about feelings of ambiguity, joy, sadness, excitement, and even disappointment. Despite all that, one thing that remains constant, is that change occurs, and we are present for it all. So when we can choose to respond and sit in feelings such as anger, sadness, doubt, distrust, or discontent, we can powerfully choose to live life staying full of love and hope.
What does that look like?
Well that is you staying in the moment and being still in the moment while choosing to balance not only your expectations but also how you choose to honor your self, mind, body,spirit, and stay in a place of forgiveness; you know, abiding by the 5 commandments of self love. See, love really has the power to transform life and all that you choose to see.
Think about it. If you've ever been in love or have known someone who's been in love, you know everything experienced is different. Love has an effect on how you smile, interact with others, and even what you truth you decide to see in life. Well, romantic love isn't the only love with life-changing impact. So is self love, and just a centrally spirited sense of love in general.
While others around you choose to worry about being good enough, the evils of the world, the amount of wealth accumulation they have (or for most of us, the amount of debt), and why it's a good reason to not trust others or believe there is even good left in this world, you can choose a different perspective. You can choose love and hope.
Yes there are inequalities, dangers, hurtful people, and many barriers that exist in the midst of a possible great life, but at the end of the day your attitude is the determining factor. Consider the perspective that there is a life of abundance, a life if love, a life of possibilities, a life in which you can make a difference, a life that you're worthy of attaining or at least going after.
Cutting your self off to the possibilities of life is not one reflective of choosing to honor your self, mind, body,or spirit. Self love is more intricate in living a great life than most people consider. So today, this week, every day and every week, work on choosing to activate a feeling, perspective and walk of love and hope. I guarantee life will not only feel better but it will be better.
By: Tiffany W.
You are a Spirit BEing. All the love, answers, and direction you need is INSIDE OF YOU. Looking for fulfillment thru others and thru things will not complete you.
As women, our strength is in our ability to love, nurture and connect. Far too often we're trying to love, nurture and connect to others, yet neglect ourselves. You are your first priority. No matter what you're life's obligations are, the center of your being must be put first.
As you understand the importance of mindfulness, trusting yourself, and being aligned, you'll see how important the 5 Commandments of Self Love are. ( Honor Thyself, Honor Thy Mind, Honor Thy Body, Honor Thy Spirit, and Forgiveness).
Remember that fear is natural but courage is a choice. Walk, run and live thru your fears because on the other side of fear is a life you deserved.
Afraid to use your voice? Do it. Afraid to say no and set boundaries? Oh please do it. Afraid to leave behind the people, environment or job that traps, starves, or diminishes you? Do it!
Happy Self Love Sunday BEautiful BEings!
Happy #selflovesunday BEautiful BEings! Its the day of spiritual revival and I myself and feeling renewed. Good things always happen to our souls on Sundays. Its the beginning of the week and I want to share something special with you.
Today I got the most empowering text from a good friend and sister like figure in my life. She said, "Have you been posting anything? the last post I could see is the Valentine's day one, I think something may be wrong with my browser. Let me know."
Do you know why that was empowering? Because I wanted to quit blogging. I knew I wasn't going to quit but I considered, what do I need to do differently to make an impact? I truly want to create content that the average gen y woman can relate to and to be honest when people don't comment, like, repost or even acknowledge what you do, it's easy to think, well maybe it's not good. It's good enough for me because it's my truth, but I have to consider as to whether it resonates with others...
That text let me know, that even if it's just 1 person, someone cares.
I'm going to have a truth moment with you:
I have been frozen for literally 1 week. No writing (until last night). Little feeling. Little exposure. Little interaction. I've confined myself to my room for the most part. Laying in bed, praying, meditating and watching movies I've seen 100 plus times. As I've felt emotionally dead, mentally I've driven myself insane 100 plus times.
Feelings of failure, despair, confusion, dissapointment, and dare I say doubt. About what? The path I'm on. See, from a place of faith and spirituality, I can see the future, but the present leaves me in total confusion sometimes. One thing I know for sure is that when you get a vision from God several times in your life, that vision is showing you whats possible. I believe divine sight, inspiration and vision is real. Whatever God shows you, will always take place. I've seen my life. I've seen the impact, the joy, the love, the abundance, the family, the philanthropy, and the legacy.
The problem with having such clarity while being a typical millennial and someone with depression, is that I become an enemy of time. With visions and goals there comes action. With action, there's not only expected outcomes, but expected outcomes on my timeline. Certain times of the year falling on my face is no problem, I get that happens in life. Other times, the times in which I'm most prone to experiencing a depressive episode, my failed Great Expectations become a problem.
The reality that I know: Life is NEVER as bad as it SEEMS. If you can find gratitude in having shelter, food, health, clothing and love, you're doing better than about 2/3rds of the world. In the end, the world never really knows what might have been done (in light of failure) they just remember you're impact (whether negative or positive). The reality that my well self knows: I am enough.
Well reality has almost nothing to do with the mind of someone in a depressive state. A different darker dimmer reality exists. It's the one that says, " What I'm doing isn't working. I don't matter. No one pays attention to me. I want to give up." (If you believe "depression is a choice" or don't really understand it, I suggest you visit http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml).
I fall victim to my own great expectations. No matter what I do or what I say, the judge in me can easily choose to nullify everything; every step, every effort and every piece of "success."
The truth is that true acceptance and perfect self love is hard for anyone. That's why its a journey of fascination for me. Not just on a personal level, but on a psychological level. In fields like Positive Psychology and Personality Psychology, looking at all measures of self concept are the most compelling stories of human behavior. Self acceptance is hard for anyone, but especially those with the most critical, heart and mind.
Naturally, I'm critical and I overthink, but when you take account of my brain chemistry at times (the depression) I become anxious. I become obsessed. I become inundated with thoughts that counter what I KNOW to be my true being. My advantage: I'm extremely cognizant of the mental and at times spiritual battle going on inside of me, which is why I know what I need to do to recalibrate my internal state.
There is beauty in learning about yourself. There is beauty in accepting your own journey, your own truths, your own limited limitations, and the possibilities that exists. There is beauty in timing. There is beauty in special relationships. There is beauty in darkness. There is beauty in life.
Sometimes life gets hard and overwhelming but we must just pray and surrender, and continue to love on ourselves.
No matter what, I still chose to love on myself (even though my mind didn't connect to it) I worked out, prayed, meditated, burned my incense/sage, watched what would make me laugh, listened to my sermons and read uplifting messages.
I knew I'd come around. ..eventually. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing . I'm glad to say I'm back.
Do you have a story of triumph? Would you like to share something from your own self love journey. I and the world want you to share your story. Please email email@example.com if you want to be featured as a guest blogger.
By: Tiffany W.
It's #fearlessfriday wooot woot!
Let go of fear, and hold on to FAITH! Have Faith in yourself to be bold, courageous, and free enough to live YOUR life how YOU WANT TO!
Question: Why are people so afraid of BEing themselves?
Others opinions can be so impactful on your life if you let them, whether you see them as positive or negative. But what about just going with your own gut? What about taking your own risk? What about finding out what joy and success mean to you? At the beginning and end of the day, YOU get to deal with YOU; your thoughts, emotions, habits, fears, wishes, goals, discomforts...thats all you.
Understand for every action there is a reaction, and everything we choose to do or not do in this life affects someone else, but if you're living to appease others, that's a limiting way to live. People will disagree with choices you make and that's ok. It's your life and others don't have to understand.
Want to start a business? Do it. Want to get a makeover? Do it. Want to move to another location? Do it. Want to leave everything behind and travel the world? Do it. Want to try a new hobby that seems out of your comfort zone? Definitely do it. Want to change career fields? Do it. Want to step out of the box you and others have put you in? Do it!
The first commandment of Self Love that I discuss in my book BE Love: Daily Intentions Guiding You to Self Love is Honor Thyself. Well it's difficult to really love yourself if you don't A. Know who you are B. Allow yourself to just BE C. Can't connect with that commandment because you're looking at yourself through other's eyes. Get your mind and spirit aligned. Learn to follow your spirit and intentionally connect to who you want to be and what you want to do with this life!
By: Tiffany W.
One aspect of Honor Thy Body that's very important to me is fitness. Being physically active really does help me balance my mood and motivates me to push through life. Since the beginning of the year I've been doing 2 fitness challenges: at least 10mins of jump rope a day and run at least 1 mile per day. Well I regret to say I've missed 3 days haha but I'm still rocking with both challenges and it feels great.
The greatest thing about a challenge is understanding the psychology of it all. You actually get a perspective into your own level of commitment, excuses making, and patterns of consistency. If this was me last year I would have been so mad at myself for missing those days, but not 2015 Tiffany. I was still active those days, I just didn't go outside at all, so I didn't complete those days, and now I'm starting over, and I'm ok with that.
Well 5 days ago, a friend and wellness client of mine asked if I would find an ab challenge to do with her. I was excited because I haven't done much of abs in a while. I found this challenge and absolutely love it. Fitness in general for me is for physical and mental health, but ab work is for vanity and I'm ok with that too!
Take a stab at it for 30 days. The key to getting results is 80% nutrition so you MUST be watching what you eat. Lots of green veggies, lots of water (ideally half your body weight, but in oz of water), compelx carbs like brown rice, quinoa (keen-wah), sweet potatoes/yams (not southern style), cous cous, lentils, etc. Eat clean and do this ab challenge and I'm sure your tummy will look quite different at the end of 30days!
By: Tiffany W.
You have a moral and spiritual obligation to share your gifts and walk in your purpose. Like...it's a REEEAAAALLLY big deal.
Think about it. Have you ever watched an interview of your favorite entertainer, leader, motivational speaker, athlete or entrepreneur? If so, do you notice when asked about how they got a point of notariety or even into their line of work, they often respond along the lines of " I'm not different than anyone else."
They are human but realise they found the answer to a common problem, fear and it's cousin, doubt. They realized that their great idea, vision, or passion really paved a road to understanding their purpose here on Earth. They tapped into it, developed it and shared with others. Now becaus3 they shared, you have someone to look up to and admire. What if they never shared?
It's not to say you have to or even need to be a well known person to make a difference with your gift, passions, and purpose. You just have to BE You and share. Its imperative because
1. You never know who's life you can absolutely transform
2. You never know who will take away key memories of the realness of your work, speech, invention, business, story, etc.
3. The more you give, the more you receive
4. You will a sense of peace and joy like no other
5. The service we provide to others is the price we pay while occupying this planet
6. You, your vision, your story, your experience, your talent matters
So if you're keeping something inside of you, you should really work on letting it go. Creative talents, great ideas, a book, a movie, or any talent, you HAVE to share, enthusiasticslly, authentically, and without expectation.
If you need any tips, feel free to email me firstname.lastname@example.org
By: Tiffany W.
Do you know how amazing you are and your life is?
Granted, you may or may not have everything you want or desire. You may even be going through a rough season. You may have recently lost someone. You may be one of the millions of people fighting through a seasonal episode of depression. Despite all of that, you and your life is amazing.
Sometimes it's really hard to the light at the end of the tunnel, but I think that's because we're paying more attention to the tunnel then the light. Staying focused on not only what we're grateful for in the moment, but also on whats at the end of any season keeps you motivated.
Stay encouraged. People and situations seem powerful enough to take our joy and smile, but we have the power to choose how we want to respond to the world.
If you feel like you are in a deep funk or experiencing a depressive episode its even more important for you to have a Self Love tool kit available. What should be in your tool kit? Poems, affirmations, intentions, declarative statements, uplifting songs, encouraging spiritual scriptures, fitness, eating clean (yes this dramatically effects your mood), comedic films/shows/text, a creative process (writing, singing, dancing, painting, etc.), deep breathing, random moments of forced smiles, and the most important, daily actions that uplift another.
Yes these are all tools you can use to stay encouraged. Of course choose whatever resonates with you, but whatever you do, remember you and your life is amazing.
By: Tiffany W.
One of the greatest lessons I've learned in reference to relationships is: Don't take anything personal. ..absolutely NOTHING!
Imagine what that would mean if you could do that. What do you think that looks like? Whether someone compliments, critiques, gives an unsolicited opinion of or personally attacks you, do not let your ego absorb it. Why?
We are all reflections of our entire life and our understanding of the world. When we interact with others to whatever degree, we must remember that they too bring their complete understanding of the world. Whether to compliment, critique, share an undesired opinion or even hurt us, everything is a projection. We often look to the labels and actions of others toward us to help us define ourselves, whether positively or negatively, but they have nothing to really do with the truth, our own truths. When you can really understand that, you can learn to let go of getting caught up in what others say to, about and do to you.
That "friend" that talked about you behind your back. The coworker that got you fired. The family member that stole from you. The partner that cheated on or lied to you. Every man or woman that calls you beautiful. Every person that has affirmed you as a genius. The person that gave you a side-eye as you walked past. The stranger that verbally disrespected.
Don't take it personal and don't allow your ego to become inflated with feelings of irritation, hurt, anger, or even flattery. Stay aligned with your mind and spirit to be present and take from every interaction what you can, but do not absorb whats unnecessary.
People give away too much power to others because they themselves have not practiced enough self control, are lacking alignment with their sources of life, and/or don't know the power they have. You don't have to rely on others words and actions to determine how you view yourself or how you act. Understand that power is within you. If someone speaks negative, let it roll off. If someone speaks positive, don't let it inflate your personality. If people recognize and applaud you, and your view of yourself is so negative you don't want to accept, examine yourself. Find your truth and stay connected to it.
Written by: Tiffany W.