Worrying is one of the most wasteful uses of mental and emotional energy one can expend. Think about it...how does it really serve you? Does it make you feel better? Do you think it actually changes the outcomes of whatever you're worrying about. If anything, it ignites fear, doubt, and unnecessary stress.
One of my favorite scriptures, Matthew 6:27, " And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?" Worrying adds no time to our lives, but in fact, takes away the ability to BE Present. It takes away the ability to appreciate life, live in gratitude no matter, and love ourselves, those around us and the world, no matter what.
Most recently, I've experienced how worrying can absolutely just shut you down. You may feel helpless, or confused, and just so anxious, you do nothing. Worrying leading to feeling immobilized is so real, and even when you're cognizant of it, it's amazing to realize how powerful our minds are. It's absolutely so much more easier said than, but when you worry think about taking on these steps.
1. DEEP BREATHING
In the realm of everyday living and stress management, people really underestimate deep breathing. Our bodies are made up of trillion of cells, and all cells need oxygen to thrive. Therefore your breathe is what runs everything in your body. Taking a deep breathe in which inhale SLOWLY for seconds, and exhale SLOWLY for 10 seconds will absolutely re-set your body's response to a stressful situation
2. Repeat Affirmations
Depending on the situation, it's really the thoughts we have around the situation that keeps worrying.
If it's a matter in which skill or knowledge is involved, repeat, "I did my best, and whatever happens, happens." When the situation involves you, there's only so much you can do, then you just have to have faith.
If it's something or someone you owe, and you are the cause of worry, be honest and take responsibility for your actions. Speak to yourself, " I have made decisions that I must live with, but whatever the consequences, I'll do my best, and learn from my choices."
If the source of worry is another person remember, "I can only control myself. I relinquish any idea of control over another, and I wish them the best."
Sometimes the worry comes from fear of loss or the ego's acceptance of loss (status, material items, etc. ). In such cases, concentrate on at least 10 things, situations, people, etc, that you are grateful for. When we can focus on the positive, it shifts our energies and level of anxiety, stress or worry
4. Remember...EVERYTHING WILL PASS. NOTHING IS PERMANENT.
You will be ok. Life will be ok. Choose what you will give your power to.
Written By: Tiffany W
One of the major challenges for people in romantic relationships is reflecting the love they expect from another. Far too often, this begins even before a relationship begins. For example, I hear women say they want men with incomparable amounts of wealth, fancy homes, cars and travelling privileges and they themselves may have poor credit, no home, a very basic car, and can barely afford a passport. Now there's nothing wrong with whatever a woman may or may not have, but the point is there is often an unequal distribution of expectation towards someone to give you what you may not be able to give them...not even a fraction.
Now we get to love. We have to consider our ability to love others as a tank. We can only give what we have. We only have the capacity to really love another because of the love we can have for ourselves and others. It's not always just about what we expect, its' about what we give. I know many friends that will cheat on their partner, but feel disrespected if they did that to them; or who are very selfish with money, but want their mates to give them the world; or who verbally disrespect their partners, and will walk away as soon as it happens to them. We are far from the days where a majority of women will stay in a relationship that they will be trapped or abused in. Now this is in no way to negate the fact that every 9 seconds a woman in the US is assaulted or beaten or that in the US, more than 3 women per day are murdered by their significant others, and that domestic violence is a rapid and pervasive social issue still alive and well. Yet, in the average relationship that may not be marked by severe inter partner violence, people don't feel the need to just exhaust all possible time in a relationship; they are most likely to leave when they are fed up, as reflected in our divorce rates.
To Mr. Thicke's case, whatever occurred between the two, encouraged Paula to step back from the relationship.If you missed it, Sunday night, he performed a new single targeted towards his estranged wife . Only those two know, but from his songs he suggests, he didn't treat her right. In what some would call a purely romantic gesture, Robin has began a campaign highlighting his recent separation tragedy (which he's financially profiting from) of singing songs celebrating Paula, and posing the case of why she should take him back. His words are so focused on constantly acknowledging how he was wrong, and how he wish he could go back to happier times, I wonder, has Robin explored the root of his behavior? Has he explored the root of his spiritual and mental state that triggered his actions because that's where the catalyst lives. Apologies are beautiful but change comes from a mental and spiritual place. How you treat someone comes from an interaction between the ego and your sense of self love. If that love tank is not filled up, and you don't see how others should be loved just as you want to be loved, apologies only go so far. Learn to love yourself, so that you may learn to love others. Think about people in your life who you may wish bad on. Think about when you downplay or express consistent discontent in the choices another make. Think about hurt, pain, jealousies, or anger you are harboring against another, whether you do or do not interact with them. Do you look at others and secretly repulsively judge their appearance? If someone breaks their word, do you cut them out your life for good? These are occurrences that we all share, or have experienced, whether 1 or all. This is why mindfulness is important and a love walk is a life journey. We must release expectations that we have for others because we often fall short in one way or another. The point: Give Love, and you will receive it; and if you don't, take that relationship as a lesson of what to look for differently, or further examine your perceived value and worth.
Written by: Tiffany W.
See the video here: http://www.bet.com/video/betawards/2014/performances/video-playlist.html#!Robin-Thicke-Makes-Another-Plea-For-Paula
REPEAT THESE WORDS:
I will love myself no matter what. Through the gains and losses. Through the storms and rainbows. I know that the imperfection of my human experience will allow me the constant opportunity to grow, learn, and transform. I will be patient, kind, non judgmental of myself.
This is a mantra of patience and understanding. For all that needed.
"I'm stronger, I'm wiser, I'm better, I never would never made it without you"-Marvin Sapp.
Life happens. We make mistakes, and rarely really have the answers to anything. We are all in search for answers for the right way to live and unlock the best life, but there's no perfect life and no perfect us. Everything is what it is, and its best to be patient with life itself. BE patient with life and yourself because despite all the self help books and blogs, experience is your best teacher, and know one can ever feel exactly how you feel in the space that you are experiencing challenges, difficulty, hardship, success, joy, happiness, love or whatever. You are like a constantly growing flower, and under favorable conditions with great care and patience, you will blossom. Take every day as it comes, and never guilt yourself for not completing a task. If you do your best, what more can be done? Seek to improve, to love more, do more, learn more, and know that at the end of the day, everything will be what it will be.
BE Patient~BE Still
Written by: Tiffany W.
So often we search for answers to challenges from others. We ask for signs. We pay a host of individuals for their expertise: psychics, psychologists, social workers, counselors, spiritual minds and more. We look at movies, magazines and read self help books. As someone that is a trained Social Worker, I would say those experts are valid, and its' nice to have someone to speak to, or get extra insight, but from my experience, we use others to confirm and affirm what we often already believe, know or fear. We don't always realize the root or why, but when it comes to decisions of the now, we know. To know the answers of some of our deepest or even very basic questions we ask ourselves, require us to know and trust ourselves. It doesn't have to be so complex but most times it starts with mindfulness.
When speaking to yourself, do you know when your untrustworthy side is speaking? You know, that side often labeled as the "bad conscious". If you do, then it sounds like you're aligned with your intuition. Your intuition or primal self comes thru by means of "my mind is saying this but my heart is saying this. " As a truly cognitive BEing, an often someone who just over-thinks too much, I do trust my mind but have learned in on a journey of self love that true inner power knows how to satisfy both mind and heart (with the mind in the lead).
For some its' challenging tapping into and channeling that inner power but that's because there's soooooo much noise inside. Finding environments or activities that stimulate the trust process definitely help. For the creative BEings, it might be entering that flow, creating your art be it visual, physical or even culinary. Others may want to exercise, BE in nature or just BE silent. Whatever it is, use that as an incubator to nurture that inner space of silence.
The reality is, if you have to make a sudden decision, retreating won't be an option, and you'll really just have to breathe. Walk thru pros and cons and maybe ask yourself some guiding questions.
The Point: One of the greatest realizations is to know YOU HAVE POWER. To know you have power shifts the possibilities of your world. Once you know, then the challenge become tapping in and using it. What's the best way for you to tap into your power?
Written By: Tiffany Wright