Why Sisterhood Matters

If you and I chatted for the first time, and I blatantly said, may I join your sisterhood, tribe, group of friends, etc., what would you say? How would you feel? If you considered answering yes, what would be the criteria that I would have to fulfill?

​Do you honestly feel like you have a strong sisterhood with at least 2-3 women?

​Yes, you are the givers of life, and in so many ways, you handle a lot more life and baggage than most men, but having others to check in with, who authentically care about you or who offer to support you and lighten your load is so important.

​Outside of settings like school and possibly work, it is difficult for many adults to develop new friendships, and even when you do, you may have an overly romantic or underwhelming idea of what that looks like.

​Yet the reality is, life can be challenging at times. Stress is a real thing, and its not always self care activities like yoga, fitness, writing, fitness, etc. that can bring our stress levels down. Sometimes we  need human contact, affection and support to get us thru tough times or even a tough day.

​According to the Office of Women's Health, the following are signs of stress:

• Not eating or eating too much
• Feeling like you have no control
• Needing to have too much control
• Forgetfulness
• Headaches
• Lack of energy
• Lack of focus
• Trouble getting things done
• Poor self-esteem
• Short temper
• Trouble sleeping
• Upset stomach
• Back pain
• General aches and pains

​Some of these can also be signs of greater mental health issues like depression or anxiety.

​One of the ways to help manage your stress is having and leaning on a supportive network of family and friends that you can talk to. But dare I say, its not just any type of friends. We all have different types of friends, that may serve different purposes. They may be in our lives now because they entered during very different seasons in our lives, whether as children, adolescents, young adults, or in the present. Nonetheless, for the sake of this post, I want you to think about the kind of friends, or sisters, to include in your sisterhood.

• Friends that genuinely want the best for you, not those who smile I front of you but are secretly jealous of your happiness and progress you make
• Friends that give, share and support without expectation. We all have different strengths in showing up for one another, and one of the worst types of friends is the one that looms guilt over you because you don't do exactly what they do in times of need
  
• Friends that encourage you and somehow make you feel like a better person
  
• Friends that can be optimistic when you are pessimistic, and vice versa. Sometimes its easier for us to be a cheerleader for others more than ourselves, so if you can have friends that's step up to the plate, as opposed to drag you down, when you're already low, that's a win
  
• Friends that edify you spiritually. Now this is tough for many, but its so critical, because a spiritual connection with anyone, is one of the most intimate experiences one can have
  
• Friends that make you smile from the inside out because you are merely in their presence

​A sisterhood would be comprised of a group of women, that would fulfill the criteria above. Every single one not, but collectively they are whole tribe of support. The truth is, no one person can be everything; not even you. This is why its important to have parts of a whole. The women in your sisterhood don't even all have to know or be friends with each other, but if you had to have sleepover/please come pour into me session-my life is in shambles- would you have a group of women you could depend on?

​Remember, stress has effects on your health, so its never something you just want to keep inside. Not only would you have your self love tool kit, but you would human outlets that can help you deplug, process, and restart. The power of a sisterhood is that it creates a safe space for you as a woman. We bear a lot of burdens, have so many insecurities, doubt ourselves, compare ourselves, and often have feelings of lack. All the while, we carry on with idea that we can hold weight on our backs, and just continue doing laugh as if the weight is not affecting us.

​With a sisterhood, you are reminded you are not alone and don't need to feel like you have to go thru life alone. You are also reminded that someone else, has or is going thru your same or similar stresses. There is simply power in connection.

​If a sisterhood is not something you have, lets be grateful that  you're in the age of technology bringing people together. Join Facebook groups with interests you have. Look for meetups where you are. Join local women focused membership based organizations. Step out your comfort zone, be vulnerable, and go on sister dates to build relationships!

​To have support is honoring thy spirit; the 4th commandment of self love, so be open.

BE Open,

​Tiffany W.