It’s the time of year when people begin gathering thoughts around their lived 2017 experience, and begin focusing on their desired 2018 experience. People assess their growth and accomplishments, as well as major lessons, losses, and disappointments. Reflection is such a useful tool to get us to the next phase in life, however it must be used with care. Reflections can spark inspiration and a sense of pride, as well as blame, regret, anger and a sense of failure. When we don’t know how to properly both praise and critique ourselves, we let our critical voices take charge. Taking our criticism with us into the next year or phase in our lives, literally keeps us involved in the same cycle of self-inflicted abuse that our inner voice subjects us to.
The inner voice we have, may have a couple of sources. Some believe it to be our ego, which I agree with. Its not bad or good, however it’s the aspect of our mind that is most reactive and most expressive. It is governed by pride and fear, and the laws in which it abides, come from narratives that we have collected throughout life. The corrosive, destructible and often critical internal narrative, is a concept I’ve been fascinated with, ever since my life coach brought my own to my attention this year.
It was in July, and at the time, we were discussing if I should proceed in my decision to go on an epic 2-week trip to Peru, and trek the Inca Trail to Machu Pichu in September. I had been experiencing so much indecisiveness because I recently left my job, was living off of savings, and was so worried about the financial commitment to go. This had been a trip I declared a year prior and had already made plans to do, I just didn’t complete the financial commitment. I told her it would be irresponsible of me because what if I didn’t get back on my feet with the plans that I had in my head. In getting to the space of making my decision, my life coach asked me 6 simple words, who’s narrative are you listening to?
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Humans share a lot of characteristics. Bones, organs, opposable thumbs, communication skills, and basic emotions. There is more that connects us than distinguishes, but let's be really clear, everyone does not think or act the same.
In a world of similarities, there are outliers. Outliers are those who don't necessarily operate in the same capacity as others, for different reasons. The extremely mentally ill, artistic geniuses, the super wealthy, social movement leaders, tech genuises, inventors, and spiritual/mindfulness leaders. These people's lives are a reflection of what's going on in their heads.
With that being said, you may be one who thinks and acts differently than many around you. At times it can be frustrating because you may be misunderstood or even ridiculed. If you're a big thinker, a dreamer, and a visionary, others will confront you with doubt. If you are on a serious journey of love and higher thought, people may call you unrealistic.
Embrace it. Yes you can be an unicorn while still accepting others views and behaviors.
One idea that many people have is that their way is the only way; the right way or the best way. Their way of living, speaking and especially thinking.
I have a friend who acknowledges that they think outside the box and they think for themselves, but if you attempt to show an alternative perspective, they're extremely closed.
The greatest minds know that there is more they don't know. When you ever get to a place in life that you feel you reached the pentacle, it might be time to surround yourself with different people and a new environment because you don't know what you don't know, and you definitely don't know that there's a different perspective that will push you.
Embrace who you are but be conscious not to let your ego be bruised by the judgments of others neither let your ego become too inflated to believe there's no other way to think, live or be beyond your own understanding.
By: Tiffany W.
There's a whole lot that in occurs in our lives everyday. We`ve all had situations and circumstances that could have derailed our lives. We've been through major transitions that have brought about feelings of ambiguity, joy, sadness, excitement, and even disappointment. Despite all that, one thing that remains constant, is that change occurs, and we are present for it all. So when we can choose to respond and sit in feelings such as anger, sadness, doubt, distrust, or discontent, we can powerfully choose to live life staying full of love and hope.
What does that look like?
Well that is you staying in the moment and being still in the moment while choosing to balance not only your expectations but also how you choose to honor your self, mind, body,spirit, and stay in a place of forgiveness; you know, abiding by the 5 commandments of self love. See, love really has the power to transform life and all that you choose to see.
Think about it. If you've ever been in love or have known someone who's been in love, you know everything experienced is different. Love has an effect on how you smile, interact with others, and even what you truth you decide to see in life. Well, romantic love isn't the only love with life-changing impact. So is self love, and just a centrally spirited sense of love in general.
While others around you choose to worry about being good enough, the evils of the world, the amount of wealth accumulation they have (or for most of us, the amount of debt), and why it's a good reason to not trust others or believe there is even good left in this world, you can choose a different perspective. You can choose love and hope.
Yes there are inequalities, dangers, hurtful people, and many barriers that exist in the midst of a possible great life, but at the end of the day your attitude is the determining factor. Consider the perspective that there is a life of abundance, a life if love, a life of possibilities, a life in which you can make a difference, a life that you're worthy of attaining or at least going after.
Cutting your self off to the possibilities of life is not one reflective of choosing to honor your self, mind, body,or spirit. Self love is more intricate in living a great life than most people consider. So today, this week, every day and every week, work on choosing to activate a feeling, perspective and walk of love and hope. I guarantee life will not only feel better but it will be better.
By: Tiffany W.
It's #fearlessfriday wooot woot!
Let go of fear, and hold on to FAITH! Have Faith in yourself to be bold, courageous, and free enough to live YOUR life how YOU WANT TO!
Question: Why are people so afraid of BEing themselves?
Others opinions can be so impactful on your life if you let them, whether you see them as positive or negative. But what about just going with your own gut? What about taking your own risk? What about finding out what joy and success mean to you? At the beginning and end of the day, YOU get to deal with YOU; your thoughts, emotions, habits, fears, wishes, goals, discomforts...thats all you.
Understand for every action there is a reaction, and everything we choose to do or not do in this life affects someone else, but if you're living to appease others, that's a limiting way to live. People will disagree with choices you make and that's ok. It's your life and others don't have to understand.
Want to start a business? Do it. Want to get a makeover? Do it. Want to move to another location? Do it. Want to leave everything behind and travel the world? Do it. Want to try a new hobby that seems out of your comfort zone? Definitely do it. Want to change career fields? Do it. Want to step out of the box you and others have put you in? Do it!
The first commandment of Self Love that I discuss in my book BE Love: Daily Intentions Guiding You to Self Love is Honor Thyself. Well it's difficult to really love yourself if you don't A. Know who you are B. Allow yourself to just BE C. Can't connect with that commandment because you're looking at yourself through other's eyes. Get your mind and spirit aligned. Learn to follow your spirit and intentionally connect to who you want to be and what you want to do with this life!
By: Tiffany W.
As "BE" drives to promote a message of women embracing, accepting and loving their full selves, it's a celebration when stories about empowerment and body positivity make it to the headlines. For years, there always at least one video or picture that goes viral showing the dramatic "transformation" that Photoshop Editors drag a magazine or advertisement photo through. The exposure of such practices, have recently created more and more conversations about how "unrealistic" images of women are in the media, especially in print. Such conversations have been crucial in creating a sense of transparency around what it means to really Honor Your Body. The first step, acceptance.
I do very well believe we are in this space of transparency when it comes to real women and their relationship with their bodies and those seen in media. It's a fuzzy space though.
See, the road seems to have several paths.
1. An obsession with health and "fitness." I put fitness in (") because while many women live a healthy lifestyle to be healthy, there are women who feel the need to overdo their fitness to fit in an ideal. They feel the need to "push themselves" because that's what all the memes say... -_- . As a wellness advocate, I believe living a healthy active lifestyle can transform your entire being, but if you embark on it and you are constantly on the scale, comparing yourself to others, and being hard on yourself, it really defeats the purpose.
2. "Curvy" has been equated to extreme hour glass figures. The Idealization of entertainers like Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, and Kim Kardashian create this body ideal that most women will never meet unless they indulge in cosmetic enhancements.
3. Then their is the full blown Body Positivity movement!
Even though social media sucks a lot of millennials into this vortex of comparison (which has monstrously negative effects), there are many positive accounts that promote self love and women loving everything there is to love about their bodies. Now, the heat is being turned up a notch! Major modeling agencies and magazines, are slowly but surely loosening the reigns when it comes to the images they portray. Granted, we have a long way to go, progress must be celebrated.
Within the last week, the 3 ladies above have been celebrated for breaking out, embracing themselves, and being representatives of the "average" woman. In a world that says, get this sucked in, tucked, clipped, or removed, they stand to be themselves. They are proof that walking in your truth may not always be easy, but it is always worth it. Making sure to Honor yourself, body, mind and spirit, is an absolutely liberating journey to a life of Freedom.
When you learn to accept and just BE yourself, the Universe responds. The light, the God in you shines, and you attract such a magnificent life. SO let's embrace these women, and embrace ourselves. Just by them BEIng them, they have broke barriers. The average woman in the US is estimated to be a size 14, so even though Ashley Graham is actually more "normal" than plus, its a start.
Cheers to BEing You! Happy FEARLess Friday!
By: Tiffany W.
Blessed Monday BEautiful BEings!
Are you feeling refreshed from the weekend? It's a new week and new day!
Another opportunity to live fearlessly and go after life! Another opportunity to BE Fearless with life! BE Fearless in love, your pursuit of happiness, your connection to joy, your transformation, accomplishing goals and making dreams happen, and even in BEing you!
Yesterday I saw the movie, WILD, and wow, that movie sums up Fearlessness. Despite the fact that a woman who was overcoming drug and sex addiction, processing a recent divorce, and still mourning the loss of her mother, went on a 1,000mile hike on the Pacific Coast Trail and experienced generally nothing but physical pain, horrible hunger, and the resurfacing of traumatic memories, the movie was an ode to fearlessness and transformation.
When we step out on faith in any area of life and step into a realm in which we are uncomfortable, great things happen! Shifts happen. Risk and great returns occur, in the form of valuable lessons.
You may not always get the experience you expect from stepping out on Faith, but you will become a stronger and more positive person. For this fact, positivity is never something we can have too much of.
Fearlessness helps you see the silver lining in anything, and keeps you present. Depite the fact you may be nervous or fearful of an act, your spirit kind of says, hey im going to do this, hope for the best and will let it go. Which to me is much better than making up a thousand and ten reasons why something won't work, why you're not good enough, etc. Been there, done that, sheesh it's exhausting.
This year, I'm working through my own fears. Even though most of life I've been rather carefree and fearless, I realized that after experiencing a lot of loss and what I considered "failure" in my life in a small period of time, it unconsciously shook my spirit of courage and my sentiments of belief in myself. For that reason I decided my personal mantra for this year would be , Give It Up, Let It Go! Go after my blessings. Go after the visions God places in my spirit. Go after the things I have of fear of not accomplishing. No matter what I do, hoping for the best, having faith that divine order will take place, and just letting go.
So this week and beyond, I hope that you can live through an eye of faith. No act of faith is too small. No step towards fearlessness is too small. In conversations, approaching someone you don't know, submitting an application for something special, picking up a new hobby/interest, starting that side business, or whatever it is.
Think positive. Think Big. Have faith in the best outcome, whatever it may be. Be Fearless and live some life!
Written by: Tiffany W.
One of the greatest lessons I've learned in reference to relationships is: Don't take anything personal. ..absolutely NOTHING!
Imagine what that would mean if you could do that. What do you think that looks like? Whether someone compliments, critiques, gives an unsolicited opinion of or personally attacks you, do not let your ego absorb it. Why?
We are all reflections of our entire life and our understanding of the world. When we interact with others to whatever degree, we must remember that they too bring their complete understanding of the world. Whether to compliment, critique, share an undesired opinion or even hurt us, everything is a projection. We often look to the labels and actions of others toward us to help us define ourselves, whether positively or negatively, but they have nothing to really do with the truth, our own truths. When you can really understand that, you can learn to let go of getting caught up in what others say to, about and do to you.
That "friend" that talked about you behind your back. The coworker that got you fired. The family member that stole from you. The partner that cheated on or lied to you. Every man or woman that calls you beautiful. Every person that has affirmed you as a genius. The person that gave you a side-eye as you walked past. The stranger that verbally disrespected.
Don't take it personal and don't allow your ego to become inflated with feelings of irritation, hurt, anger, or even flattery. Stay aligned with your mind and spirit to be present and take from every interaction what you can, but do not absorb whats unnecessary.
People give away too much power to others because they themselves have not practiced enough self control, are lacking alignment with their sources of life, and/or don't know the power they have. You don't have to rely on others words and actions to determine how you view yourself or how you act. Understand that power is within you. If someone speaks negative, let it roll off. If someone speaks positive, don't let it inflate your personality. If people recognize and applaud you, and your view of yourself is so negative you don't want to accept, examine yourself. Find your truth and stay connected to it.
Written by: Tiffany W.