It's a new week BEautiful BEings! All things new bring rejuvenation!
This week, go forth considering who you are and mindfully falling in love with yourself.
It's easy to get caught up in who we believe we are not and even, who we want to be like. What about just loving yourself for who you are and appreciating whoever your becoming on your journey?
Stay focused on yourself without:
1. Comparing yourself to others.
2. Pointing out others shortcomings and ignoring where you can grow.
BEing on your journey is about YOU and no one else. It's not about you taking to heart everything that others say about you (whether positive or negative). Its not about becoming greater to obtain something or to impress people. Its not about growing so you can look down upon people who are at different points in their journey than you. Your journey is about you becoming the best version of your self, reaching your highest potential, and being greater to add light to this world.
Connect with yourself. Honor yourself. Learn who you are: your likes/dislikes, your triggers, your unhealed wounds, the parts of you that you've been hiding, your passion, your purpose, your fears, your inspiration, your strengths and your opportunities for improvement.
People will tell you about yourself; what they feel you should be like and who they believe you are. People will praise you and give you credit for change and positivity. To a degree, it doesn't matter. We can use individuals around us as gages for where we are, but we must be careful because whatever someone speaks isn't an absolute truth. It's the truth as they see it, whether positive or negative.
Get connected to your spirit; to your higher self and look around at your life. Those are the best barometers to gage who you are.
By: Tiffany W.
The first commandment of self love is: Honor Thyself.
What does that mean? It means to accept, acknowledge, recognize and take with pride, everything that you are. What makes us who we are?Our choices, our thoughts, what we decide to be, our experiences, our beliefs, and whatever composes our mind, bodies and spirits. For some people it’s easier to focus on the parts of their being that seem untouched, un-phased, un-wounded. The other parts, are typically ignored or looked at with shame; the SCARS.
Scars are the result of healing. An imprinted reminder of a painful experience. They can also be a consequence of an incident that resulted in major change, whether natural or not. Scars can be seen and unseen. They can be physical or emotional.
Far too often women are ashamed of their scars and today I ask you, may you choose to Be Proud? Be Proud of your scars, whether physical or emotional. They tell a story and are a shadow of your beauty.
With an obsession for perfection, women are ashamed of stretch marks, acne scars, moles, facial birthmarks and bruises. Too ashamed to wear certain pieces of clothing for the fear of judgement, ridicule, or glances you may get from someone else. In the end, does it matter?
If you lost or gained weight, had a baby, have marks from conditions like chicken pox, or whatever else, that is YOUR experience and has nothing to do with anyone else. You had that experience and you know what, millions of other women around you have had the same experience. You are human, change happens, scars occur. Embrace them, and proudly include your scars in your story.
What about the scars no one can see, but you walk around with shame because of their occurrence? An abortion? Infertility? Trust, hurt or abandonment issues due to a relationship? Sexual assualt? Emotional or Psychological Abuse? Self-imposed disappointment? Do you realize how much extra weight you carry in your body because you resist as oppose to embrace these incidents? Embrace does not mean you are happy or joyful that these events happened to you, but you accept that they are a part of your journey and you can continue to live. In Christianity there is the notion that God will give you beauty for ashes. It’s a beautiful concept and life truth, that once you give up what you deem as dead, hurtful, ugly, or negative, life will be more beautiful. Your spirit will be more at ease. Your mind and body will release whatever you’ve been holding on to.
We as women let the invisible scars keep us away from love in platonic, familial or romantic relationships. We let them become barriers to walk in our purpose when in actuality, embracing and accepting these scars can bring us closer to our purpose. We let the scars keep us away from a life of abundance, opportunity and fullness. Release the fear. Release the shame. If you are reading this, you are still here. You are strong. Those scars are sign of healing. Once you’ve healed, you have to give yourself permission to be more, do more, love more, and think higher of yourself and what life can offer.
Your past experiences shape you, but they do not define you. You define who you are. Walking proudly with your scars allows you to live in a space of freedom. Walking proudly with your scars gives someone else the power to be free.
By: Tiffany W.
Happy Monday BEautiful BEings!
What did you wake up thinking about this morning?
Did you have thoughts of gratitude? Thoughts of resistance? Thoughts of excitement? Were you feeling triumphant and looking forward to the possibilities of today? Did you think about Monday being another day of opportunity or one of regret because the weekend is over?
Whatever your thoughts were, at this moment I want you to repeat the following: I am powerful and have the power to choose who I am, what I do, and how I show up in the world today!
The world will lead you to believe that life just "happens" to you. Whatever you get, is what you must consider to be your destiny. Yet there are many people who show us everyday, the power of intention, goals, faith and positive thinking in shaping what life can be. This is the world filled with individuals who've given up their power or have completely been blind to the fact that they have power.
Your power of CHOICE is what really shapes your life to the degree that it lines up with not only your purpose but also your desires. You choose your thoughts. You choose your career. You choose your job. You choose to set goals and go after them. You choose to see your goals through, no matter how much difficulty you face. You choose to give up on your goals if the difficulty has seemed too much for you. You choose to hold on to or release negative emotions. You choose to see the best in people and life. You choose to embrace a healthy lifestyle. You choose the type of people you surround yourself with. You choose the type of people you get in a relationship with. You choose to purchase or refrain from purchasing objects.
You CHOOSE. You have the power of choice. In your power, connect to understanding what it means to say, YES, and what it means to say, NO. Both words of choice are powerful and they impact your life the same. They can add to your self love journey or they can present barriers.
Sometimes saying NO is important in self care. For example, when you're tired and need to rest, No can be a savior. I know because I'm becoming more come comfortable with the word myself. When you're feeling superhuman it's natural to want to multitask; , make others happy, accomplish tasks, and be social. But what is your limit? Do you go go go until you get sick? Until you get injured? Until you can't concentrate and become delirious?
Choose to set aside self time at multiple points throughout the day. I don't have time is not an excuse. No one has time. Time is a possessor of itself. You make time. You can choose to say no, I won't go to bed late or I won't wake up late. I will choose to affirm myself and eat well. Say no to that extra task, say no to that meeting, say no to going out or whatever else you can choose to say NO to, to assure you are loving on yourself.
Sometimes saying YES is important in self care. You love saving money, but do you ever buy anything for yourself? You've worked so hard, but when's the last time you took a vacation? Are there activities or events happening in your city that you could explore to learn or be exposed to something new and expand your mind? Could you read a new book to learn something new? When someone offers to take you out or help you, could you say YES to ease work off yourself? Could you allow someone who cares or love you, to shower you with love and support?
Today and this week, keep your mind on the affirmation: I am powerful and have the power to choose who I am, what I do, and how I show up in the world today!
By: Tiffany W.
Self Love is Free but the journey will cost you.
It will cost you releasing many of the limiting beliefs and stories you've held on to. You will have to give up seeing yourself as a victim. You will have to give up seeing yourself as the one the world does not like, want or appreciate. You will have to give up the ideas that you are deficient in beauty, depth, talent, intellect or capability. You will have to release the unforgiveness in your heart so you can learn what it really means to not judge yourself or others. You will have to release notions of unworthiness and lack.
Self Love is Free but the journey will cost you.
Often whenever, or if ever, someone hears the phrase self love, they tend to believe that it is limited to embracing how you look or even taking the time to be with one's self, but it goes so much deeper than that. On this journey you will become aware that much of what you thought about yourself may not serve you anymore. You may realize that the people you considered to be staples in your life, may not be supportive of who you are or who you want to be. You may realize that there is much for you to dig up within yourself to address and work on.
Self Love is Free but the journey will cost you.
Along the way, you will meet people who will be messengers. They will deliver conformational insight to guide on your path. They will be mirrors and thermostats needed to gage your growth. They will be people who touch the wounds that run deepest for you and thus pressure you to grow and expand. Yes, your self love journey isn't just about you. The Self Love is Free but the journey will cost you. It will cost you frustration, anger, pain, maybe sadness, disappointment and of course relationships.
Self Love is Free but the journey will cost you because Growth is Uncomfortable. In the midst of your growth, you will eventually learn that the essence of Self Love is acceptance. Acceptance of your self. Acceptance of those around you. acceptance of the growth you're experience. You will learn to accept, so that you don't operate out of resistance and feel like life is harder than what it really is.
Don't fret. Just be patient and kind with yourself. Never expect perfection. Even if you know what to do or how to think, accept that every moment of every day is different. Some days will seem, feel, and be better than others. Life's a journey. This love thing is a journey.
By: Tiffany Wright
In todays world, we are not short of expressed opinions and how to's when it comes to love and relationships. I'm quite sure the mothers and fathers of psychology would have never imagined that pop psychology would be a thing of the future in which individuals would be giving out advice left and right.
In my time of exploring what love and self love means, I always come back to the above definition. A definition that isn't necessarily singular because love cannot really be limited to one sentence as most words are. Even the great Greek philosophers had several categories of love ( brotherly, sexual passion, friendship, affection like those between parent and child).
The above explanation isn't even a definition, its an explanation of how it looks and how it feels. This is applicable for yourself and for others You may notice, that it is actual a scripture from the Holy Bible. Across spirit walks, love is similarly described as being inclusive of the above mentions . When you step back and consider what a healthy love looks like, it includes the above. When you consider the 5 Commandments of Self Love ( Honor Thyself, Honor thy Mind, Honor thy Body, Honor thy Spirit, and Forgiveness) they all support the above.
My challenge to you is to evaluate how you express love to yourself and others. Evaluate how those who say they love you express their love to you. It's easy to get wrapped up in the words, "I love you," but not really take into to consideration what that means or what that looks like. When you can be honest with yourself you can then make the proper adjustments. Maybe you have to work on patience or not holding grudges. Maybe someone around you throws wrongdoings in your face or downplays your dreams. Again, through reflection, you can make proper adjustments. Maybe those adjustments are working on yourself and apologizing to those who you could love differently. Maybe its removing or stepping back from some people in your life.
You're not obligated to remain the same or keep the same relationships in your life. Your self love journey is about honoring yourself but also considering all the ways you can honor yourself better and reflect that in the relationships around you.
We are all perfectly imperfect, but there is extreme gratifying power and freedom in owning who you are. Take yourself as you are, allowing your insight and actions to line up, and those who matter most will accept you for who you are and who you're striving to be.
Are you patient with yourself? Are you kind to yourself? Do constantly judge yourself based on your errors? Have you forgiven yourself for events or occurrences you've felt guilty of? Do you compare yourself to others? Do you honor the truth about yourself? Do you give up on yourself?
If you answered yes to any of the above, it looks like you have some more work to do BEautiful BEing! I know I sure do! It's a new month, a new week, and a new day to continue moving forward and step into the beauty of the possibilities.
By: Tiffany W.
Newness brings excitement! Newness can also bring discomfort, especially if something is so new, it's out of your comfort zone. But that's ok, we're all about transforming and growing so we have to learn to be ok with discomfort.
Think about when you were in middle or high school. You had 1 pair shoes you may have loved but at some point they started to get uncomfortable. They started to get tighter and maybe rub against your toes or the back of your heal. Your feet were growing and the effects were uncomfortable until you acknowledged, ok it's time for new shoes, I can't fit these anymore.
Well it's the same with our mindsets and behaviors. We are so attached to our current ways but maybe some person, some transition, some situation, or literally time causes a shift in change, growth, and transformation. We must give up some old ways to make room for a better life.
We are creatures of habit, so change can be not only difficult but resisted. Sometimes we say we want change but because we only know our current realities, we don't know what it actually takes to change or get the outcome we desire.
Some people want a lean, sculpted body but most have no idea of the mental discipline it takes to follow a strict nutrition and fitness regiment. Some people want to be wealthy, but they too have no idea what level of discipline it takes to build wealth. To get from Point A to Point C, there will be change and it will be uncomfortable.
Newness can mean lots of new disciplines: Long hours, saying no to what you don't need, saying yes to what you do need, changing how you think, changing what you believe, or even changing who you hang around.
It's a new week, and in celebration of newness, I challenge you to think about how you can grow. What new perspectives can you take on? What new habits can you begin to form to become a new and better you?
Could you improve at work? In your romantic relationship? In your interpersonal relationships? In your relationship with your self?
BE Open to a new perspective. Newness births greatness. Newness births expansion and elevation. Newness stimulates you. Newness connects you to a new world, a new way of living and even new people.
By: Tiffany W.
When I think of how truly connected everything in life is, I joyfully think about the song and opening scene of Disney's The Lion King, in which all the animals from the pride lands came to the birthing ceremony of Simba. In the background, we hear a story about the Circle of Life.
I mean, really dissect the lyrics.
"From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round
It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life"
The circle of life, the food chain, destiny, serendipity, and "everything happens for a reason" are
all very similar notions to me. Every thing and every being has a purpose. All that is orchestrated naturally in our lives, is testament that life happens full circle. Birth and death. Loss and gain. Joy and sadness.
The opposition of life is so important to understand and embrace because it shapes you to be stronger, more resilient, and of greater gratitude, if you choose to look at life's opportunities in such a way. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond.
Well, if we embark on the journey of life with an open mind and spirit, knowing for sure that every person, lesson, and experience is working together, life's blows can be taken standing straight up. To be simple, I suggest for to just believe that one day, it will all make sense because it will! I promise. Well, if you're open to connecting the dots.
When you're experiencing whatever you're experiencing, sometimes you can wonder to yourself, Why? Why is this happening? You might even go so far as to wonder, why is this happening to me?
Well ...why not you? Why not now? Why not? Are you so special and unique that you should be exempt from the difficulty and challenging times of the human experience? I think not. But as you ask those questions, consider your role in the plot of life. See we have thoughts and actions that often bring certain occurrences in our lives, but in a grander scheme, we also are just containers for God's greater plans. Our influence and control only goes so far.
So in understanding that there's a grander scheme than we can imagine or create, we can choose to look at life differently. Honoring the journey, the confusion, the timing, and the seemingly incongruity. When things just don't make sense, I think that's a sign!
It's the beginning of a beautiful week, and I want you to choose the attitude," something great is in store and this is serving a great purpose! "
"This" can be the day, week, interaction with a stranger, coworker, family member, traffic, or even the time in your life. Shift your relationship with time, expectations, and development.
BE Open. BE Hopeful~
By: Tiffany W.
Happy #selflovesunday BEautiful BEings! Its the day of spiritual revival and I myself and feeling renewed. Good things always happen to our souls on Sundays. Its the beginning of the week and I want to share something special with you.
Today I got the most empowering text from a good friend and sister like figure in my life. She said, "Have you been posting anything? the last post I could see is the Valentine's day one, I think something may be wrong with my browser. Let me know."
Do you know why that was empowering? Because I wanted to quit blogging. I knew I wasn't going to quit but I considered, what do I need to do differently to make an impact? I truly want to create content that the average gen y woman can relate to and to be honest when people don't comment, like, repost or even acknowledge what you do, it's easy to think, well maybe it's not good. It's good enough for me because it's my truth, but I have to consider as to whether it resonates with others...
That text let me know, that even if it's just 1 person, someone cares.
I'm going to have a truth moment with you:
I have been frozen for literally 1 week. No writing (until last night). Little feeling. Little exposure. Little interaction. I've confined myself to my room for the most part. Laying in bed, praying, meditating and watching movies I've seen 100 plus times. As I've felt emotionally dead, mentally I've driven myself insane 100 plus times.
Feelings of failure, despair, confusion, dissapointment, and dare I say doubt. About what? The path I'm on. See, from a place of faith and spirituality, I can see the future, but the present leaves me in total confusion sometimes. One thing I know for sure is that when you get a vision from God several times in your life, that vision is showing you whats possible. I believe divine sight, inspiration and vision is real. Whatever God shows you, will always take place. I've seen my life. I've seen the impact, the joy, the love, the abundance, the family, the philanthropy, and the legacy.
The problem with having such clarity while being a typical millennial and someone with depression, is that I become an enemy of time. With visions and goals there comes action. With action, there's not only expected outcomes, but expected outcomes on my timeline. Certain times of the year falling on my face is no problem, I get that happens in life. Other times, the times in which I'm most prone to experiencing a depressive episode, my failed Great Expectations become a problem.
The reality that I know: Life is NEVER as bad as it SEEMS. If you can find gratitude in having shelter, food, health, clothing and love, you're doing better than about 2/3rds of the world. In the end, the world never really knows what might have been done (in light of failure) they just remember you're impact (whether negative or positive). The reality that my well self knows: I am enough.
Well reality has almost nothing to do with the mind of someone in a depressive state. A different darker dimmer reality exists. It's the one that says, " What I'm doing isn't working. I don't matter. No one pays attention to me. I want to give up." (If you believe "depression is a choice" or don't really understand it, I suggest you visit http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml).
I fall victim to my own great expectations. No matter what I do or what I say, the judge in me can easily choose to nullify everything; every step, every effort and every piece of "success."
The truth is that true acceptance and perfect self love is hard for anyone. That's why its a journey of fascination for me. Not just on a personal level, but on a psychological level. In fields like Positive Psychology and Personality Psychology, looking at all measures of self concept are the most compelling stories of human behavior. Self acceptance is hard for anyone, but especially those with the most critical, heart and mind.
Naturally, I'm critical and I overthink, but when you take account of my brain chemistry at times (the depression) I become anxious. I become obsessed. I become inundated with thoughts that counter what I KNOW to be my true being. My advantage: I'm extremely cognizant of the mental and at times spiritual battle going on inside of me, which is why I know what I need to do to recalibrate my internal state.
There is beauty in learning about yourself. There is beauty in accepting your own journey, your own truths, your own limited limitations, and the possibilities that exists. There is beauty in timing. There is beauty in special relationships. There is beauty in darkness. There is beauty in life.
Sometimes life gets hard and overwhelming but we must just pray and surrender, and continue to love on ourselves.
No matter what, I still chose to love on myself (even though my mind didn't connect to it) I worked out, prayed, meditated, burned my incense/sage, watched what would make me laugh, listened to my sermons and read uplifting messages.
I knew I'd come around. ..eventually. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing . I'm glad to say I'm back.
Do you have a story of triumph? Would you like to share something from your own self love journey. I and the world want you to share your story. Please email email@example.com if you want to be featured as a guest blogger.
By: Tiffany W.
Do you know there's an estimated 7 billion humans walking this Earth?
More than half of those humans are actually women!
What do you think that may mean? Well to me, that means, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Take that in. It's a simple yet possibly emotionally impactful statement. Why? Because when people, especially women (can we admit we're a tad bit more emotional and irrational at times?) go through their Life Crap, they think they're alone! They think their struggle, pain, dysfunction, confusion, disappointment, lost, depression, and especially heartbreak keeps them wrapped up in this bubble that reads, "Girl you are all alone. Be ashamed. No one can know. No one can understand. Struggle through this Life Crap all alone!" It's rather ridiculous. Wouldn't you agree?
You are not the only one to be hurt. You are not the only one who had an abortion. You are unfortunately not the only one who's been a survivor of domestic violence or sexual assault. You're not the only one who's used their body to fulfill voids of love and esteem. You are not the only one who's regretted coming between another relationship. You're not the only one battling an addiction. You're not the only one who's contracted a STD/STI. You are not the only one to be discriminated against or undermined because of your body, skin color, hair, sexuality, or gender. You are not the only one that has an unhealthy relationship with your body and feels the need to obsess over every crevice, inch, pound or calorie. You are definitely not the only one who's experienced heartbreak. You're not the only mother that sometimes feel like they want to walk away from their husband and children. You're not the only one questioning you're long term relationship or marriage because you've realized you're transforming. You're not the only one who's been cheated on, lied to, or just flat out abandoned. You're not the only one without a mother or father (whether by their choice or death). You're not the only one that is "young" facing a terminal illness. You're not the only one that doesn't know their purpose, or know what they want to do with their life. You're not the only that "feels like a failure." You're not the only one in major debt with a job that barely has a liveable wage. You're not the only unemployed, homeless, or car-less (of course these are moreso 1st world problems). You're not the only one who's afraid to go after their dream. You're not the only one that hates their job and feels stuck.You're not the only angry, sad, or confused. You are not the only one who really doesn't know what it means to be happy, in love, or satisfied with life. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I know in your alone time. you reflect, compare your life to those who you follow on social media and in blogs, and it has you twisting up reality. I know it feels really hard to grasp the answer to all the WHY's in your life. Some times, the weight of the world seems so heavy, you just don't know what to do. But guess what? YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
What happened if you realized that your experience was synonymous with someone else's? and it was ok to be transparent to SOMEONE because you never really know what someone else is going through? What could happen if you actually believed that in the midst of all the confusion, hurt, disappointment and loss, you could actually choose to BE OK, and know that life is actually OK?
One thing that I know for sure is that pain is real. Its as real as your mind tells you it is.If you're mind doesn't focus on pain, well it wouldn't exists. As someone who's experienced at least 2 depressive episodes a year since I was 7, I know what it feels like to be caught up in your mind. I also know the freedom of sharing your innermost self with others. It can be nerving, but it is love. How so? Well, not only are you learning to accept yourself, you're teaching others to accept themselves while also possibly helping them heal through their own Life Crap.
If you are feeling alone or if you ever feel alone, as if no one can understand or relate to whatever you're feeling, I want you to talk to someone. I want you to write, sing, dance, draw, or paint through whatever you're going through. I want you to find a way to express yourself, speak up and speak out. Sharing your truth is the most powerful step you can take in healing yourself. Learn to find peace with wherever you are in life. That is the power of the first commandment of self love, Honor Thyself. Learn to embrace who you are, what you've been through and what you're going through.
BE OPEN to Loving Yourself~
By: Tiffany W.
Who doesn't love Fridays! It's the day that most people get relinquish a little responsibility and just BE! You may take some time to think about the week and usually say, Dang Its been a Hell of A Week! Well what if you took the same approach to life and reflecting on past decisions? Because even though the week has been hell, you're not harboring shame, anger or guilt from it...
Well like you love Fridays, I love moments that lead to reflection and growth! Whenever I'm deep in the presence of an epiphany or realization, I say, " Oh yes. The shift is real." Growth is all about the shifts that happen throughout life. A shift in understanding, leads to a shift in perspective, which often times (if you're focused on transformation) leads to a shift in behavior patterns.
When the shift is real, it feels oh so good. But would you like to know the sacrifice that must come before a shift?
Releasing self judgment of any decision or action as a mistake or bad. Now, that's not an exit for one to escape the law of self accountability because if you caused physical, emotional, or mental damge to a person or situation then you need to take responsibility for that and realize there were some more appropriate choices that could have been made, but it's not mistake. In truth, you did what you did because you wanted to do it. Regardless if you ignored your center when it told you to stop, walk away or you shouldn't be doing this. The execution of a decision or behavior taught you something about yourself, taught someone else something about you, and added to the overall colorful story of the human experience.
What we deem as mistakes are really paths to transformation. We all need a reason to transform, and often times its our dishonorable patterns that leads us to those changes. I often say, its at the point, when a women realizes how she dishonor her body and spirit that she begins to explore a path of mindfulness. After too many unhealthy relationships do women realize they need to reassess why they go after or attract the mates they do. Its after issues with eating disorders, physical health, not taking pictures due to Shame, or hearing how negative their self talk is about their bodies that women realize they need to improve their relationship with their bodies.
One of my favorite quotes from Elizabeth Gilbert, writer of Eat, Pray, Love is, " Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. " Above all, it's absolutely true. First Commandment of Self Love is Honor Thyself, and that is a commitment to accepting all the decisions you've made in your life. Let them lead you to a beautiful freedom or going higher in your BEing; becoming stronger and wiser.
Upon intitial reflection, it's easy to say that certain decisions we frown upon our mistakes, but the more time you take to think about them, the more you realize what you've learned and how they really did open your eyes to understanding the world much different. Who you were when you made those decisions is not who you have to be when you're reflecting on them. You choose what you want to be while embracing all that you are and have been because it's all one.
By: Tiffany W.