Do you know there's an estimated 7 billion humans walking this Earth?
More than half of those humans are actually women!
What do you think that may mean? Well to me, that means, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Take that in. It's a simple yet possibly emotionally impactful statement. Why? Because when people, especially women (can we admit we're a tad bit more emotional and irrational at times?) go through their Life Crap, they think they're alone! They think their struggle, pain, dysfunction, confusion, disappointment, lost, depression, and especially heartbreak keeps them wrapped up in this bubble that reads, "Girl you are all alone. Be ashamed. No one can know. No one can understand. Struggle through this Life Crap all alone!" It's rather ridiculous. Wouldn't you agree?
You are not the only one to be hurt. You are not the only one who had an abortion. You are unfortunately not the only one who's been a survivor of domestic violence or sexual assault. You're not the only one who's used their body to fulfill voids of love and esteem. You are not the only one who's regretted coming between another relationship. You're not the only one battling an addiction. You're not the only one who's contracted a STD/STI. You are not the only one to be discriminated against or undermined because of your body, skin color, hair, sexuality, or gender. You are not the only one that has an unhealthy relationship with your body and feels the need to obsess over every crevice, inch, pound or calorie. You are definitely not the only one who's experienced heartbreak. You're not the only mother that sometimes feel like they want to walk away from their husband and children. You're not the only one questioning you're long term relationship or marriage because you've realized you're transforming. You're not the only one who's been cheated on, lied to, or just flat out abandoned. You're not the only one without a mother or father (whether by their choice or death). You're not the only one that is "young" facing a terminal illness. You're not the only one that doesn't know their purpose, or know what they want to do with their life. You're not the only that "feels like a failure." You're not the only one in major debt with a job that barely has a liveable wage. You're not the only unemployed, homeless, or car-less (of course these are moreso 1st world problems). You're not the only one who's afraid to go after their dream. You're not the only one that hates their job and feels stuck.You're not the only angry, sad, or confused. You are not the only one who really doesn't know what it means to be happy, in love, or satisfied with life. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I know in your alone time. you reflect, compare your life to those who you follow on social media and in blogs, and it has you twisting up reality. I know it feels really hard to grasp the answer to all the WHY's in your life. Some times, the weight of the world seems so heavy, you just don't know what to do. But guess what? YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
What happened if you realized that your experience was synonymous with someone else's? and it was ok to be transparent to SOMEONE because you never really know what someone else is going through? What could happen if you actually believed that in the midst of all the confusion, hurt, disappointment and loss, you could actually choose to BE OK, and know that life is actually OK?
One thing that I know for sure is that pain is real. Its as real as your mind tells you it is.If you're mind doesn't focus on pain, well it wouldn't exists. As someone who's experienced at least 2 depressive episodes a year since I was 7, I know what it feels like to be caught up in your mind. I also know the freedom of sharing your innermost self with others. It can be nerving, but it is love. How so? Well, not only are you learning to accept yourself, you're teaching others to accept themselves while also possibly helping them heal through their own Life Crap.
If you are feeling alone or if you ever feel alone, as if no one can understand or relate to whatever you're feeling, I want you to talk to someone. I want you to write, sing, dance, draw, or paint through whatever you're going through. I want you to find a way to express yourself, speak up and speak out. Sharing your truth is the most powerful step you can take in healing yourself. Learn to find peace with wherever you are in life. That is the power of the first commandment of self love, Honor Thyself. Learn to embrace who you are, what you've been through and what you're going through.
BE OPEN to Loving Yourself~
By: Tiffany W.
Always find a reason to keep going.
Life is a process, process takes action. Unlike a tree we cannot just BE still and expect life to take its course. We have to take some type of action and sometimes we just don't want to.
19 days in January and I already missed 3 days of some personal goals for myself. I didn't beat myself up but I had to dig deep to push myself to keep going.
You, and I, must keep yourself open to receiving the inspiration you need to live a life you deserve and BE who should and want to BE. You gave more power than you beleieve and the more you tap into it, the stronger the power gets. Honor your mjnd and spirit by really focusing in feeding it content that assures you of who you are
Our mundd is our greatest enemy. Creating limiting beliefs, doubts and stories of blame thus creating a life of struggle. BE assured that challenges will occur, but do you think they're meant to constantly keep you down? I know what it feels like to get caught up in your own mind. It happens to me when I get off track and don't use the tools I know that keep my mind, body, and spirit aligned and free of negative energy.
We all have access to a life of purpose and prosperity and I do believe we can easily flow into it if we are functioning in the right spiritual space. You can only flow when you focus on that flow. Yes, even BEing in flow takes focus. Whatever we want to BE, whatver whatever state we desire to BE in, must have a concentrated energy on that.
Love will always do more, get more done, and change more of anything than Hate. Love will always shine light through darkness. It is the power of love that transforms our own lives. It is the power of love, that drives the compassion necessary to overcome injustice, misrepresentation, abuse, inequality and any state alike.
A realistic truth to understand is that duality is necessary. Light and Dark. Love and Hate. One could not exists without proof of another. Another truth is that no matter what, you (most individuals) are responsible and in control of your own thoughts and actions. You may influence others but you cannot control others.
Humans all experience emotions, but women, ON AVERAGE, by our very makeup are extremely emotional creatures. Especially in a situations that spark emotion around anger or disgust. Of course everyone doesn't express emotion the same, but often we react before really reflecting. Sometimes we reflect, practice how we want to respond in a situation, and still react full of intense emotion.
As a woman and as a human being you want to be heard, vindicated and right, but what if you learned to react through love.
Now I'm transparent, even though I'm not a dangerous, screaming, physical type of person, I can be combattive when I in a certain mental space ( especially when I'm hungry or hungry while mother nature is visiting). This is why in knowing that truth about myself, its even more important for me to center myself in the morning, connect to a source a love, so I can have calculated reactions/responses as opposed emotionally intensive responses.
Now the truth is, getting to that place in which you can respond to others with love is pretty tough. You have your ego as your biggest barrier ;Wanting to be right and having the last word. As any area of our character, it takes work.
Really connecting to the idea of self love and acceptance. When we can actively shift to the mindset thag we are imperfect and have different views, experiences, and values as another, we open up out spirit to accepting the differences in other. This helps satiate the desire to go off. You learn to allow your spirit to just speak its truth through your impeccable word or even when not to say anything and just keep the peace.
You can get more with honey, and you can influence change or respect more with love.
So next time that coworker shares her unsolicited opinion about your outfit, size, or work ethic to you or someone else, respond with love. When you find out someone you love may have betrayed, lied to, or dishonored you in some way, respond with love. If someone affiliated with an organization, club, culture, etc. does something you feel like misrepresents what you stand for, respond with love.
When we respond with anything opposite of love, we unsettle our own spirit. We end up becoming more irritated and we end compromising our own joy. Don't give someone else that much power.
Spread love, Give Love, Be Love, Receive Love, regardless of reward or return. It feels powerful, you sow goodness in the universe, and you teach others how to love.
By: Tiffany Wright
Faith will take you farther than any skill or relationship can in this life. Those who truly have faith are risk takers. They take a chance and expect a completely positive outcome. Those who lack faith, expect the worst in people, places, and experiences. They are least likely to set big goals or even any goals, for fear of disappointment.
When it comes to self love, that includes believing that you deserve your best life. That is honoring yourself. Typically fear and doubt can get in the way of that. It robs you of great possibilities.Fear and doubt fuels the assumptions of failure you may have. It keeps you from pursuing relationships, dreams, and new experiences. Your outward source of faith (religion/a spiritual practice) can come from anywhere but your inner source of faith really begins with you. If you can have faith that something won't happen, you have the same ability to feel and believe otherwise
This week, catch yourself when you become aware of thoughts and feelings that diminish the possibility of your BEing and your life. Walk through fear, and live in faith! No matter how small or big your fair is, choose to BE Fearless and pursue something or someone out of comfort zone.
Written by: Tiffany W.
One of my 5 Commandments of Self Love is Forgive Thyself. As we reflect in others, what is in ourselves, we must learn that forgiving ourselves means to also foegive others. See, forgiving yourself is one side of the coin, and forgiving others is another. I think this lesson has been one of major challenge in my life, and coincidentally in others. We are all doing our best, and some people's best, often includes hurt and selfishness. What parent, family member, lover, friend, or colleague have you had/ are you having trouble forgiving? It could just be one, but that one case could be blocking much from your life. Remember, you and that person are aligned. In a recent breakup, I learned that once I completely forgave myself, then I forgave my ex. When I thought, I just needed to forgive my ex....it doesn't work that way. Remember, energy is never destroyed, just transferred, so whatever you hold onto, whatever is actually end you, must be released.
Allowing the residue of bitterness, hurt, or dissapointment to remain in your life is like having a clogged sink. Even though water may flow correctly from time to time, at any point, water can rise and major damage can occur. At times, love and your spirit may be in flow, but some triggering event or thought can impact and cause total disarray in your being because you have unsettled issues.
Release what you need to, so you can have an open heart. We all make mistakes, constantly. People hurt people, people disappoint people, and people are selfish intentionally and unintentionally. You (&I) are never perfect enough to look down on or be unforgiving of another. In the wake of national and international news spotlighting wars, murders, domestic violence cases, and discrimination, emotions are high not only for those involved, but also spectators, and I say, be open and forgive.
See forgiveness isn't just an act that must occur because of what someone directly did to us. No no no, it's just not that simple. We are all connected, and everything that goes on around us affects how we feel and think. Therefore our interaction with the world, others and ourselves, are directly impacted by events outside of us.
So on all levels, learn to forgive. Learn to understand. Learn to dissect the source of pain and hurt. Learn to let go. Breathe in love, exhale peace and understanding. Let's just pray for each other's healing hearts and minds.
Being Love and Giving Love makes the world a better place.
There is no such thing as too much love. In actuality, the world needs so much love, it seems that we are in a deficit. We could always be more encouraging to those around us. Reaching out to people that we are close with or may not even know, and just giving encouraging words really adds value to the life of others. When you add value to people, you add value to the world. When you add value to the world, you are in turned blessed.
Whether someone appears to be "in need" or not, sewing positivity into another, can truly affect their momentary disposition, and possibly there world. We are here to love and care for one another. Of course, it's hard because as we experience our own storms in life, it seems to emotionally draining to give up the little hope we have at any time but it makes a difference. Research even shows that giving (whether emotional or physical) to someone in need, boosts our own mood. There is always room to share love. It is our greatest Be fearless and love on someone!
Written By: Tiffany Wright
Yesterday I was stuck on what exactly to express in my weekly "What We Cam Learn From" edition. It was going to be centered on ESPN' anchor Steven A. Smith, and the controversy around his comments of domestic violence and "provocation" initiated by women, but my spirit wasn't ready yet. Today, I thought, which woman would I honor in Throwback Thursday? I had no idea, but this morning I listened to a sermon on "Knowing Who You Are."
The importance of identity, purpose and the confidence in both is of the highest manifestation in self love. When you know what God has made you to be; when you know who you are as a spiritual BEing of purpose; when you know who you are as a woman. ..that is a powerful place to be in life. Over the course of the day, it came to me.
No other than Tina Turner. Her spirit of strength, vitatlity, transformation and confidence is the perfect woman to emanate self love on Throwback Thursday. Yes she is still alive, but the throwback is honor of her decision to walk away from all that didn't serve her and walk into a life worth living.
Tina Turner, born Ana Mae Bullock in 1939, is a singer, author, choreographer, dancer and actress who rose to musical fame between the 50's and 70's. Her powerful career was groomed and managed by her ex-husband and fellow singer Ike Turner. Ike not only wrote for, produced, and "discovered" Tina, but he also inflicted years of emotional, mental and physical abuse on her due to his personality and lifestyle. Much of their relationship is depicted in the film, What's Love Got To Do It. The title is based off a song written and performed by Tina after her divorce and choice to transform her spirituality and career.
Thru her pain, she found Buddhism and opened her consciousness to a higher purpose and state of BEing. Tina not only left Ike, but she went from performing r&b to feeling alive thru rock & roll. She was transparent about the violence inflicted on her, and even more transparent about how it helped her understand demanding what she wanted in life, and truly practicing self love. She moved to Switzerland with her lifetime partner, away from the hectic lifestyle that epitomized the US. After being together for over 20 years, they married last year, and she is a graceful 78 years young.
Her iconic song, What's Love Got To Do With It, is a very relevant lesson for the woman of today. Many millenial women have a "by the time I'm 30" deadline. They expect life, their career and marriage to be manifested by 30. Marriage for 20 somethings has to do with love and fantasy. But when fantasy and love fade, what's left? You have people who didn't (on average) spend time getting to know themselves or really what their values and intangible desires are. Women, who look for men to complete them and fulfill their childhood dreams by getting married. Now there are few couples who really have the maturity and spiritual understanding necessary to connect to the higher purpose and functioning of marriage, but most, not so much. The missing ingredient is self love, self knowlege, self worth, and confidence. This is the major lesson that Tina Turner's life symbolized.
Her life and transformation is an ideal example of the power of self love and living confidently. When you know who you are, what you deserve, and how beautiful life can be when you trust in yourself, you open a peaceful life of possibilities. You tap into an eternal flow of blessings. Of course this doesn't prevent negative life circumstances from happening, but you build the strength to be you and live your resiliently despite circumstances. There are people who provoke life to emit negative circumstances, but most people just receive what life gives out, not knowing what role they can play in preventing such circumstances. Life is not fair but it is responsive based on how we think and feel about it. Connect to who you are, your faith, your strengths, and everything around. BE mindful of who and what you let in. Don't shame others for their unhealthy or maladaptive choices. Live your life to the best you can!
Written By:Tiffany W.
One habit I have when I write is to sometimes leave pieces incomplete. Of course this can be aligned with my tendency to be inconsistent and lose concentration, but the "Present" and "Nonjudgmental " Tiffany would say, when I'm moved to share, it happens accordingly. When a piece is ready, I know, and this one had to be revisited because of a conversation today.The first part of this post was written during a meditation challenge. The second part, was written today.
Part.1 (Written May 15) One major lesson I've learned recently is the act of forgiveness. Not forgiveness of others, but self-forgiveness. Yesterday I listened in on Speaker and Life Coach Lisa Nichol's call "Power Week and Beyond" and the call's topic was centered around the statement, " Living between no longer and not yet." Such a powerful statement. Between that, my Deepak Chopra 21 Day Mediation challenge about finding security, peace and happiness within, and coming across the quote pictured today, I have stepped into and received a COMPLETE shift in relation to myself.
I WAS one of those people who wouldn't need the critique of another because I handled it with the discipline of at least plus 3 on my own. In the past, when I've done something that I wasn't really confident in, and experienced discomfort during and after the situation, I would let time pass and build up around rationalizing the role I played in the situation. I would look at the black and white, and totally ignore the grey, my emotional reality. It served me to protect my identity, strength, and distance to that person and situation, but I learned over time that distancing yourself from a person or situation, doesn't take away the pain. It doesn't help you process, and it actually just feeds the beast of living in resistance. In the long run, it's harder to walk away from pain because its roots will find you, and some times lead you to regretting its source, but there's peace in coming to terms with it.
Love and pain drive you to grow as an individual. All opposing forces serve their purpose, for we would not be able to recognize, acknowledge or appreciate one without the other. To love yourself and others, allows you to live a life of freedom, gratitude, reciprocity, and abundance. To experience the pain from loss of love, whether in a relationship or physical, can bring about a different transformation. Often pain may occur, and we decide to not feel it. Its' only by means of the "what goes up, must come down" law, that no matter what we do to resist our emotions, they will emerge if we spent so much energy suppressing them. The reality is, you cannot escape the truth. Hurt, dishonesty, dysfunction, treachery, betrayal, disappointment, hopelessness, etc.... All the feelings you felt in the moment of a situation, which you manage to expeditiously suppress, will eventually emerge. The reality is, we must live our truths, even if pain exists in them. When you can accept a situation, and process the source of your pain, you can find peace. In that peace you can walk with confidence, embracing every aspect of your journey. That's how you find peace in pain. It will be difficult, and may take time for you to realize how you played a role, how this pain is repeated throughout your life, how you were an unfortunate victim, or even that unwanted change is a part of life. In all of the pain, you become a stronger person. There is another brick added to the foundation of your being. When you can take a step back, and examine what you've been thru, and who you've become, you can selectively find pride and peace in who you are.
The benefit of finding peace in pain comes when you can touch another with your experience. We build strong connections when common experiences are shared between one another. For myself, I know sharing is a tried and true purpose-driven gift. There is something powerful about sharing a lesson and an overcome pain with another. It unlocks power and peace for both of us; knowing that we are not alone. I spoke with a friend, sister, and mentee today about my experience and journey of self love thru the body, sexuality, and sexual assault. She had no idea about my experiences, and began to cry because they paralleled her own experiences. I recently came to peace with how my experience of sexual assault, and early understandings the power of y body and sexuality affected relationships and my choices or lack thereof due to fear and vulnerability. Finding peace in that pain allowed me to touch another life, and expand a layer of being, thus expanding my mindfulness around my purpose on this Earth.
Take a step back, and examine what you've been thru, and who you've become, you can selectively find pride and peace in who you are. Think, reflect and write on pains that have been unresolved. Learn to find peace, and radiate to the level that you should be resonating on.