Happy #selflovesunday BEautiful BEings! Its the day of spiritual revival and I myself and feeling renewed. Good things always happen to our souls on Sundays. Its the beginning of the week and I want to share something special with you.
Today I got the most empowering text from a good friend and sister like figure in my life. She said, "Have you been posting anything? the last post I could see is the Valentine's day one, I think something may be wrong with my browser. Let me know."
Do you know why that was empowering? Because I wanted to quit blogging. I knew I wasn't going to quit but I considered, what do I need to do differently to make an impact? I truly want to create content that the average gen y woman can relate to and to be honest when people don't comment, like, repost or even acknowledge what you do, it's easy to think, well maybe it's not good. It's good enough for me because it's my truth, but I have to consider as to whether it resonates with others...
That text let me know, that even if it's just 1 person, someone cares.
I'm going to have a truth moment with you:
I have been frozen for literally 1 week. No writing (until last night). Little feeling. Little exposure. Little interaction. I've confined myself to my room for the most part. Laying in bed, praying, meditating and watching movies I've seen 100 plus times. As I've felt emotionally dead, mentally I've driven myself insane 100 plus times.
Feelings of failure, despair, confusion, dissapointment, and dare I say doubt. About what? The path I'm on. See, from a place of faith and spirituality, I can see the future, but the present leaves me in total confusion sometimes. One thing I know for sure is that when you get a vision from God several times in your life, that vision is showing you whats possible. I believe divine sight, inspiration and vision is real. Whatever God shows you, will always take place. I've seen my life. I've seen the impact, the joy, the love, the abundance, the family, the philanthropy, and the legacy.
The problem with having such clarity while being a typical millennial and someone with depression, is that I become an enemy of time. With visions and goals there comes action. With action, there's not only expected outcomes, but expected outcomes on my timeline. Certain times of the year falling on my face is no problem, I get that happens in life. Other times, the times in which I'm most prone to experiencing a depressive episode, my failed Great Expectations become a problem.
The reality that I know: Life is NEVER as bad as it SEEMS. If you can find gratitude in having shelter, food, health, clothing and love, you're doing better than about 2/3rds of the world. In the end, the world never really knows what might have been done (in light of failure) they just remember you're impact (whether negative or positive). The reality that my well self knows: I am enough.
Well reality has almost nothing to do with the mind of someone in a depressive state. A different darker dimmer reality exists. It's the one that says, " What I'm doing isn't working. I don't matter. No one pays attention to me. I want to give up." (If you believe "depression is a choice" or don't really understand it, I suggest you visit http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml).
I fall victim to my own great expectations. No matter what I do or what I say, the judge in me can easily choose to nullify everything; every step, every effort and every piece of "success."
The truth is that true acceptance and perfect self love is hard for anyone. That's why its a journey of fascination for me. Not just on a personal level, but on a psychological level. In fields like Positive Psychology and Personality Psychology, looking at all measures of self concept are the most compelling stories of human behavior. Self acceptance is hard for anyone, but especially those with the most critical, heart and mind.
Naturally, I'm critical and I overthink, but when you take account of my brain chemistry at times (the depression) I become anxious. I become obsessed. I become inundated with thoughts that counter what I KNOW to be my true being. My advantage: I'm extremely cognizant of the mental and at times spiritual battle going on inside of me, which is why I know what I need to do to recalibrate my internal state.
There is beauty in learning about yourself. There is beauty in accepting your own journey, your own truths, your own limited limitations, and the possibilities that exists. There is beauty in timing. There is beauty in special relationships. There is beauty in darkness. There is beauty in life.
Sometimes life gets hard and overwhelming but we must just pray and surrender, and continue to love on ourselves.
No matter what, I still chose to love on myself (even though my mind didn't connect to it) I worked out, prayed, meditated, burned my incense/sage, watched what would make me laugh, listened to my sermons and read uplifting messages.
I knew I'd come around. ..eventually. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing . I'm glad to say I'm back.
Do you have a story of triumph? Would you like to share something from your own self love journey. I and the world want you to share your story. Please email email@example.com if you want to be featured as a guest blogger.
By: Tiffany W.
Hey Ladies! The timelines you have in your head about these "milestones" you must meet, are not real. I'd first like to bring to attention, the obsession with 30. You know what I'm talking about.
For starters, most of you want to be in your dream career, job, car, and/or living situation by 30. Yes, the idea of pure independence and social power as a woman definitely seems like the way to go. You possibly spend your 20s sacrificing your physical and mental health so you can satisfy your ego and obtain the "things" your heart desires. If you have all that, or are working on all that, that's wonderful for you. It's great to have goals to work towards. It keeps life fascinating. On the flipside, are you constantly comparing yourself to others if in fact you haven't acquired those "things" yet? Are you allowing those acquisitions define your value? Do you see yourself as less or more valuable without or with them, respectively?
Secondly, are you feeling the pressure to be a global citizen? According to MMGY Global, 6 in 10 millennials would rather spend money on experiences than on things. Translation, we travel a lot! With hundreds of travel blogs, social media accounts deddicated to deals and photo sharing, one could feel the "pressure" to travel. Well, one could also feel that they have to get all the adventure out of them now, right now, this very moment, especially before 30 when life "begins. " Give me a break. I get your YOLO mentality, and I understand you never know what the future holds, but if other generations could survive putting off travel, you won't go off the deep end if you waited.
Hmmm, what do we have next? Ahhhh good ol marriage. Now this right here...this is the whole reason behind this post. Elite Daily posted an article this week, sharing that a 29 year old woman who had been in a 2 year relationship committed suicide because her 30th birthday was days away and she was not married nor with children. Her goal: have a family by 30. May her soul rest in peace. This right here calls for major conversation. This story, plus that of women marrying themselves, just tugs on my heart.
Life is not defined by you obtaining a husband (or wife). You are more than a BEing waiting for a ring and ceremony. Yes, love enhances your life so much more. Yes, having a committed long term partner makes life a little sweeter, but life is so much more. Do you love yourself? Like, reeeeeaaaallly love yourself? Do you give to others? Do you pour love in others? Have you connected to and began walking in your purpose?
Marriage is an institution of security, moreso for the woman than man. A wife secures a man to bear children and obtain wealth. That's the history of it. Marriage until the late 19th century, has never really been about Love. Its been about security. The presence of motion pictures began to really idolicize notions of romance. Now today, partially thanks to companies like Disney and DeBeers, we are obsessed with romamce, rings, marriage (as an event more than a committment). Women in the US, used to get married in their teens because they had to. Now we have the power to choose because we don't need marriage for financial security. Dwell in that. For the most part, your life in 2015 is marked by a sense of freedom. You don't live in 1920. Which also means you can speak up and become more involved in the process.
This married by 30 business can lead to diminished esteem, depression, anxiety, and desperation. First off, anyone can GET married but it's not just about getting married...its about staying married. Learn who you are. Find your purpose. Live your happy. Fall in love with you and you'll attract what you want, I'm so sure of it.
There is no rule as to when you "should" get married. It's a mental and social construction. ITS NOT REAL! Come back to reality please. You're causing yourself unnecessary stress and pressure, and that is not healthy.
Ask yourself, do you a wedding or a lifetime of commitment with someone? Do you realize that marriage is not just about having someone forever? Are you the person you need to be, to even be married? Are you selfless? a good communicator? aware of your faults? actively working on healing past hurts and trauma? trusting? a committed person?
Hey woman, let that obsession go, whether you're 25 or 35. Live life and whatever you're searching for, will find you.
By: Tiffany W.
**View Article referenced in post
Do you know there's an estimated 7 billion humans walking this Earth?
More than half of those humans are actually women!
What do you think that may mean? Well to me, that means, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Take that in. It's a simple yet possibly emotionally impactful statement. Why? Because when people, especially women (can we admit we're a tad bit more emotional and irrational at times?) go through their Life Crap, they think they're alone! They think their struggle, pain, dysfunction, confusion, disappointment, lost, depression, and especially heartbreak keeps them wrapped up in this bubble that reads, "Girl you are all alone. Be ashamed. No one can know. No one can understand. Struggle through this Life Crap all alone!" It's rather ridiculous. Wouldn't you agree?
You are not the only one to be hurt. You are not the only one who had an abortion. You are unfortunately not the only one who's been a survivor of domestic violence or sexual assault. You're not the only one who's used their body to fulfill voids of love and esteem. You are not the only one who's regretted coming between another relationship. You're not the only one battling an addiction. You're not the only one who's contracted a STD/STI. You are not the only one to be discriminated against or undermined because of your body, skin color, hair, sexuality, or gender. You are not the only one that has an unhealthy relationship with your body and feels the need to obsess over every crevice, inch, pound or calorie. You are definitely not the only one who's experienced heartbreak. You're not the only mother that sometimes feel like they want to walk away from their husband and children. You're not the only one questioning you're long term relationship or marriage because you've realized you're transforming. You're not the only one who's been cheated on, lied to, or just flat out abandoned. You're not the only one without a mother or father (whether by their choice or death). You're not the only one that is "young" facing a terminal illness. You're not the only one that doesn't know their purpose, or know what they want to do with their life. You're not the only that "feels like a failure." You're not the only one in major debt with a job that barely has a liveable wage. You're not the only unemployed, homeless, or car-less (of course these are moreso 1st world problems). You're not the only one who's afraid to go after their dream. You're not the only one that hates their job and feels stuck.You're not the only angry, sad, or confused. You are not the only one who really doesn't know what it means to be happy, in love, or satisfied with life. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I know in your alone time. you reflect, compare your life to those who you follow on social media and in blogs, and it has you twisting up reality. I know it feels really hard to grasp the answer to all the WHY's in your life. Some times, the weight of the world seems so heavy, you just don't know what to do. But guess what? YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
What happened if you realized that your experience was synonymous with someone else's? and it was ok to be transparent to SOMEONE because you never really know what someone else is going through? What could happen if you actually believed that in the midst of all the confusion, hurt, disappointment and loss, you could actually choose to BE OK, and know that life is actually OK?
One thing that I know for sure is that pain is real. Its as real as your mind tells you it is.If you're mind doesn't focus on pain, well it wouldn't exists. As someone who's experienced at least 2 depressive episodes a year since I was 7, I know what it feels like to be caught up in your mind. I also know the freedom of sharing your innermost self with others. It can be nerving, but it is love. How so? Well, not only are you learning to accept yourself, you're teaching others to accept themselves while also possibly helping them heal through their own Life Crap.
If you are feeling alone or if you ever feel alone, as if no one can understand or relate to whatever you're feeling, I want you to talk to someone. I want you to write, sing, dance, draw, or paint through whatever you're going through. I want you to find a way to express yourself, speak up and speak out. Sharing your truth is the most powerful step you can take in healing yourself. Learn to find peace with wherever you are in life. That is the power of the first commandment of self love, Honor Thyself. Learn to embrace who you are, what you've been through and what you're going through.
BE OPEN to Loving Yourself~
By: Tiffany W.
Always find a reason to keep going.
Life is a process, process takes action. Unlike a tree we cannot just BE still and expect life to take its course. We have to take some type of action and sometimes we just don't want to.
19 days in January and I already missed 3 days of some personal goals for myself. I didn't beat myself up but I had to dig deep to push myself to keep going.
You, and I, must keep yourself open to receiving the inspiration you need to live a life you deserve and BE who should and want to BE. You gave more power than you beleieve and the more you tap into it, the stronger the power gets. Honor your mjnd and spirit by really focusing in feeding it content that assures you of who you are
Our mundd is our greatest enemy. Creating limiting beliefs, doubts and stories of blame thus creating a life of struggle. BE assured that challenges will occur, but do you think they're meant to constantly keep you down? I know what it feels like to get caught up in your own mind. It happens to me when I get off track and don't use the tools I know that keep my mind, body, and spirit aligned and free of negative energy.
We all have access to a life of purpose and prosperity and I do believe we can easily flow into it if we are functioning in the right spiritual space. You can only flow when you focus on that flow. Yes, even BEing in flow takes focus. Whatever we want to BE, whatver whatever state we desire to BE in, must have a concentrated energy on that.
I love Sundays! For me, I participate in faith filled worship everyday through song, word and prayer, so Sundays are not set aside for just that purpose. Sundays represent rejuvenation and energy of spiritual reset that I feel all around me.
This year, I'm setting aside Sunday for you! Yes You! Any followers or supporters I have who want to share their stories, send me a Selfie (with no makeup on), or who want to honor others in their lives.
#selflovesunday is all about sitting extra in that love, sharing, giving, ans reflecting the God and Divine within you.
So today, partake in extra reflection. Devote yourself to extra affirmation. Honor thy self and honor the spirit. Fill yourself up for the week. If your feeling bold, let me celebrate you!
Connect with me on my social media
or send an email: firstname.lastname@example.org
I would say one of the premier challenges of a millennial is the play between happiness/passion vs. stability/discipline . We are the Hippy 2.0 generation that is very driven by ideals of mindfulness, emotional/physical freedom, happiness, innovation, and purpose. Millennials are the power behind most social networks and premier smart phone apps. We are the attributing demographic that elected President Barack Obama. We are the generation that defined the self made tech millionaire. We are the idealists who couldn't get jobs because of a recession and created major shifts in fashion, technology and, writing (blogging) because of our innovative abilities. In general, we travel, love eating healthy, do lots of yoga, are obsessed with gym selfies, stand up for all types of philanthropy, and date via technology. On average they say we change jobs every 2-3 years. Employers recognize that we care a lot about work/life balance and thus have began changing what employee appreciation looks like.
Millennials have changed the world, literally. Even with all of our ideals that have definitely manifested revolutions, we are often criticized that our ideals stray us away from stability and discipline.
We stray away from having children. We get married later. Less likely to purchase property. Have high credit card and student loan debt. We are more likely to buy used cars. We invest more in technology, experiences, holistic health practices and "things" than in our financial well being.
How does one save when they are traveling all the time? Why do we spend so much money on entertainment and technology, when those funds can be put in savings, investments or a retirement account? Is it worth paying for top tier membership for fitness activities when you have other bills to be paid? When will you step off the career pedal to pay attention to settling down?
Whatever the balance is for you, work to attain it. If saving money is more important than having life experiences and you rarely do anything extra, commit to maybe doing 1 thing a month or every 3 months. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. If you are spending money before you get it, stop! Learn to budget and put more money to your obligations. Working out doesn't have to cost a thing. Learn to spend more time doing your favorite exercises at home, in nature, or with groups of friends with the same goals. Open your mind to treating yourself to time with your friends, family and yourself. Being a hard worker is admirable but one thing that those on their deathbed often say is that they wish they would have lived more and not worked so hard. Would it kill you to have a couple of nights a week with a full nights rest or spend quality time with your self or loved ones? You may love Facebook, Instagram, Tinder, Match.com and all their cousins, but be open to meeting people face to face. When you meet those people, go on fun outings and speak on the phone. Technology is great but it takes the genuine connections we can have some times.
The life you live is your legacy. When you live a life driven by passion, love and enjoyment, I believe you inspire people to do the same. Some may not agree, and everyone is entitled to their own truth. BE your Best and work towards the life YOU want. There's no need to lean on the understandings and beliefs other have about your life. When you learn to honor yourself, you don't have to give up the power of your own free will. Steer from illegal activity and anything that dishonors your mind, body or spirit. To allow abundance to come into your life in all forms, you must be open, loving, responsible, and aware enough for that to happen.
Written by: Tiffany W.