"I'm so excited!"
"You got this"
"Yes! It's almost over. Wait...not yet? Omg that was only the half point!"
" I want this to be over!"
"Ugh why'd I do this"
" I am more than a conqueror. I can do this. I trained for this. Just think how good Boiling Crab is going to taste."
" My hip...my knee. I want to stop."
" Yessssss! I did it! Whoa! That was good!"
These are the incremental thoughts and sentiments I had last Saturday when I ran my first 15k Double Road Race. It's a new style of racing that provides an extra challenge for runners because you're essentially running 2 events in 1 day; a 10k=6.2 miles and then a 5k=3.1 which are separated by a mandatory recovery period.
The challenge comes during the second leg, after the recovery because your body has been resting and really believes its done with gruesome long distance running. To its suprise, you have to get back up and finish out the race. Now, I've been preparing for the race for about 6 weeks, but there's nothing like race day. New environment, different altitude, the distraction of hundreds of other people around you. It was challenging but so enlightening. Not only was I proud, but I placed 4th in my age division. Beyond the metal, there was so much gratitude for the journey getting to the finish line.
Physical fitness is more than an important activity for health and aesthetics (if thats your focus). It is the most simple test of mental strength. You get to see what type of person you are when things get tough, when you want to quit or when you're finding it difficult to just to keep moving.
How you speak to yourself really determines your beliefs, your faith and how healthy your relationship with yourself is. Do you speak words of encouragement and affirmation? Do you speak words of defeat? Do you focus on the unknown fearing for or worrying about the worse?
How do you love on yourself in the quiet, lonely amd intimate moments with yourself? Are you gentle? Do you speak power into yourself like you would do another?
Tuesday is deemable as #transformationtuesday across social networks, so today I ask, how can your mind be transformed? How can your relationship with yourself be transformed?
Despite the fact that my race was challenging, I would absolutely do it again! There were so many times I wanted to walk but I chose not to. Even if I slowed my pace, I was not going to quit. I was so proud of myself, I decided I would run a half marathon in November.
"The true measure of a (wo) man is not where (s) he stands in times of comfort and convenience but where (s) he stands at times of challenge controversy"- MLK
Stand strong. Do something that takes you out of your comfort zone. Whether big or small, physical or not, test yourself!
BE Strong. BE Transformed~
By: Tiffany W.
Anyone out there get caught up in the fantasies of their own perfect visions? Somehow you envision a day, a moment, an event, or an interaction to be a certain way, then life says, who do you think you are?
Some days can seem so heavenly and others, not so much. Some days you can seem so centered and other days, not so much. Somewhere in you lies the perfect storm of grace, peace, joy, love, rigidness, confusion, hurt and sorrow. Embrace it all. Just do and be your best at all times. Know that your best changes moment by moment and day by day. Even in the change, being blessed with centering thoughts or support systems who can lend words of encouragement, “It’s going to be ok,” “don’t worry” can make such a difference!
Every day and every moment looks different. Your mind, body and spirit are in a constant revolution. Some days feel better than others. Some days, YOU or I feel better than others. The day in and of itself is perfect. It in itself, is not good or bad; how we perceive it, how we react in differing moments, how we take advantage of it, is what changes. Stepping away from judgement and allowing ourselves to just embrace it all is a rather empowering stance and mindset to be in.
Change is a part of life.
That reflection in itself gives proof to the fact that nothing will always be the same. You won’t always be happy or sad. You won’t always win or lose. You won’t always feel great or less than. When you have challenging days or moments, consider what lessons you can pull from whatever is or is not going on. You can also consider how any time that seems advantageous or even disadvantageous has some aspect in which you can express gratitude.
Next time you’re in a rut, make sure to practice deep breathing, express affirmations that brighten your day, meditate on the thought that everything works out for me, smile, and know that whatever is going on, in the grander scheme of life, is temporary.
Embracing whatever your being is going through, is honoring yourself. Implementing a practice to help you get and stay centered is honoring your mind and spirit. Stay focused on your Commandments of Self Love™.
Every day and every moment is new! Embrace it!
By: Tiffany W.
Newness brings excitement! Newness can also bring discomfort, especially if something is so new, it's out of your comfort zone. But that's ok, we're all about transforming and growing so we have to learn to be ok with discomfort.
Think about when you were in middle or high school. You had 1 pair shoes you may have loved but at some point they started to get uncomfortable. They started to get tighter and maybe rub against your toes or the back of your heal. Your feet were growing and the effects were uncomfortable until you acknowledged, ok it's time for new shoes, I can't fit these anymore.
Well it's the same with our mindsets and behaviors. We are so attached to our current ways but maybe some person, some transition, some situation, or literally time causes a shift in change, growth, and transformation. We must give up some old ways to make room for a better life.
We are creatures of habit, so change can be not only difficult but resisted. Sometimes we say we want change but because we only know our current realities, we don't know what it actually takes to change or get the outcome we desire.
Some people want a lean, sculpted body but most have no idea of the mental discipline it takes to follow a strict nutrition and fitness regiment. Some people want to be wealthy, but they too have no idea what level of discipline it takes to build wealth. To get from Point A to Point C, there will be change and it will be uncomfortable.
Newness can mean lots of new disciplines: Long hours, saying no to what you don't need, saying yes to what you do need, changing how you think, changing what you believe, or even changing who you hang around.
It's a new week, and in celebration of newness, I challenge you to think about how you can grow. What new perspectives can you take on? What new habits can you begin to form to become a new and better you?
Could you improve at work? In your romantic relationship? In your interpersonal relationships? In your relationship with your self?
BE Open to a new perspective. Newness births greatness. Newness births expansion and elevation. Newness stimulates you. Newness connects you to a new world, a new way of living and even new people.
By: Tiffany W.
Happy Monday BEautiful BEing!
If you're reading this, not only have you've been blessed with another beautiful day to BE love, give love and receive love but you're blessed with the capacity to see and pay forward today's post!
I just wanted to share some soul filled reminders of how to fill yourself up today and keep yourself filled up so you can live a love and purpose driven life!
1. State your gratitude. Whether in the morning, before bed or throughout the day, consider at least 10 things, people, or opportunities you're grateful for. Gratitude is an expression of positive emotion and a foundation of an abundant life. When you're focused on what you're grateful for, there's not much room for complaint. Don't want to go to work this morning? Be grateful you have a job and an opportunity to skillfully contribute to the world!
2. Check in with a positive message or look at positive content. Messages like, " You're Awesome," " Today I choose joy," etc. are great mesaages to inhale. The more you fill your mind and spirit up with positive words, the more positive thoughts and behaviors you'll have, thus creating a life that you can appreciate more. Listen to a motivational message on YouTube (there's thousands maybe millions of them). Listen to positive upbeat music.
3. Before you speak, THINK! Look below.
4. Smile as much as possible. It will keep you in a better move and increase your energy.
5. Get up and move every hour! Stay active to keep your blood flow healthy, keep your energy up, and keep your metabolism active.
6. Give Love. Dish out compliments, smiles, random acts of kindness, and positive affirmations to folks.
7. BE You. Situations and people will lead you to question yourself and may even lead to feel ashamed or uncomfortable, but no matter what, just be you. BE mindful of where you can grow and improve, but stay in a place of Honoring Yourself!
By: Tiffany W.
When I think of how truly connected everything in life is, I joyfully think about the song and opening scene of Disney's The Lion King, in which all the animals from the pride lands came to the birthing ceremony of Simba. In the background, we hear a story about the Circle of Life.
I mean, really dissect the lyrics.
"From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round
It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life"
The circle of life, the food chain, destiny, serendipity, and "everything happens for a reason" are
all very similar notions to me. Every thing and every being has a purpose. All that is orchestrated naturally in our lives, is testament that life happens full circle. Birth and death. Loss and gain. Joy and sadness.
The opposition of life is so important to understand and embrace because it shapes you to be stronger, more resilient, and of greater gratitude, if you choose to look at life's opportunities in such a way. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond.
Well, if we embark on the journey of life with an open mind and spirit, knowing for sure that every person, lesson, and experience is working together, life's blows can be taken standing straight up. To be simple, I suggest for to just believe that one day, it will all make sense because it will! I promise. Well, if you're open to connecting the dots.
When you're experiencing whatever you're experiencing, sometimes you can wonder to yourself, Why? Why is this happening? You might even go so far as to wonder, why is this happening to me?
Well ...why not you? Why not now? Why not? Are you so special and unique that you should be exempt from the difficulty and challenging times of the human experience? I think not. But as you ask those questions, consider your role in the plot of life. See we have thoughts and actions that often bring certain occurrences in our lives, but in a grander scheme, we also are just containers for God's greater plans. Our influence and control only goes so far.
So in understanding that there's a grander scheme than we can imagine or create, we can choose to look at life differently. Honoring the journey, the confusion, the timing, and the seemingly incongruity. When things just don't make sense, I think that's a sign!
It's the beginning of a beautiful week, and I want you to choose the attitude," something great is in store and this is serving a great purpose! "
"This" can be the day, week, interaction with a stranger, coworker, family member, traffic, or even the time in your life. Shift your relationship with time, expectations, and development.
BE Open. BE Hopeful~
By: Tiffany W.
You are a Spirit BEing. All the love, answers, and direction you need is INSIDE OF YOU. Looking for fulfillment thru others and thru things will not complete you.
As women, our strength is in our ability to love, nurture and connect. Far too often we're trying to love, nurture and connect to others, yet neglect ourselves. You are your first priority. No matter what you're life's obligations are, the center of your being must be put first.
As you understand the importance of mindfulness, trusting yourself, and being aligned, you'll see how important the 5 Commandments of Self Love are. ( Honor Thyself, Honor Thy Mind, Honor Thy Body, Honor Thy Spirit, and Forgiveness).
Remember that fear is natural but courage is a choice. Walk, run and live thru your fears because on the other side of fear is a life you deserved.
Afraid to use your voice? Do it. Afraid to say no and set boundaries? Oh please do it. Afraid to leave behind the people, environment or job that traps, starves, or diminishes you? Do it!
Happy Self Love Sunday BEautiful BEings!
Your life is shaped primarily by one process: thought.
How you think affects how you see and experience the world; it affects your choice in relationships, careers, and lifestyle. Your thoughts affect your relationship to fear and love.
One of my 5 Commandments of Self Love is Honor Thy Mind, which essentially means recognize/acknowledge the power of your mind along with its sensitivity. Honoring your mind means to actively be aware of all that you do which may shape its existence.
What are you listening to? What are you watching? What are you reading? What are you believing? What are you visualizing? What are you saying to yourself?
The condition of your mind truly does affect the condition of your life. I don't believe anything is absolute, so I don't believe that every single thing in your life is a reflection of your thoughts but, just as the Earth and our bodies are nearly 70% water, I do believe a high percentage of our lives are merely our thoughts manifested.
As a woman of today, you have more pressure than ever to do and be so much.
More often than not you're comparing your body, love life and sense of success with other women. Stop. Use others as inspiration not as a platform for comparison.
I want you to know that striving for your highest best self is a noteworthy goal. When you reach for something more, you challenge yourself and grow. The issue is when you stop reaching, you block your mind from continuing to develop, thus your life stands in a place of stagnation. Most people are comfortable there, but rarely does anything special happen in your comfort zone.
I challenge you to let go of limiting beliefs. Let go of thoughts that are opposite of, I'm good enough, I am strong, I am beautiful in and out, I am a conquerer, I am bold, I am loved, I am important, I am me.
Go forth today with an intention to focus on positive thoughts, even if it comes to not so positive people and situations.
By: Tiffany W.
Happy #selflovesunday BEautiful BEings! Its the day of spiritual revival and I myself and feeling renewed. Good things always happen to our souls on Sundays. Its the beginning of the week and I want to share something special with you.
Today I got the most empowering text from a good friend and sister like figure in my life. She said, "Have you been posting anything? the last post I could see is the Valentine's day one, I think something may be wrong with my browser. Let me know."
Do you know why that was empowering? Because I wanted to quit blogging. I knew I wasn't going to quit but I considered, what do I need to do differently to make an impact? I truly want to create content that the average gen y woman can relate to and to be honest when people don't comment, like, repost or even acknowledge what you do, it's easy to think, well maybe it's not good. It's good enough for me because it's my truth, but I have to consider as to whether it resonates with others...
That text let me know, that even if it's just 1 person, someone cares.
I'm going to have a truth moment with you:
I have been frozen for literally 1 week. No writing (until last night). Little feeling. Little exposure. Little interaction. I've confined myself to my room for the most part. Laying in bed, praying, meditating and watching movies I've seen 100 plus times. As I've felt emotionally dead, mentally I've driven myself insane 100 plus times.
Feelings of failure, despair, confusion, dissapointment, and dare I say doubt. About what? The path I'm on. See, from a place of faith and spirituality, I can see the future, but the present leaves me in total confusion sometimes. One thing I know for sure is that when you get a vision from God several times in your life, that vision is showing you whats possible. I believe divine sight, inspiration and vision is real. Whatever God shows you, will always take place. I've seen my life. I've seen the impact, the joy, the love, the abundance, the family, the philanthropy, and the legacy.
The problem with having such clarity while being a typical millennial and someone with depression, is that I become an enemy of time. With visions and goals there comes action. With action, there's not only expected outcomes, but expected outcomes on my timeline. Certain times of the year falling on my face is no problem, I get that happens in life. Other times, the times in which I'm most prone to experiencing a depressive episode, my failed Great Expectations become a problem.
The reality that I know: Life is NEVER as bad as it SEEMS. If you can find gratitude in having shelter, food, health, clothing and love, you're doing better than about 2/3rds of the world. In the end, the world never really knows what might have been done (in light of failure) they just remember you're impact (whether negative or positive). The reality that my well self knows: I am enough.
Well reality has almost nothing to do with the mind of someone in a depressive state. A different darker dimmer reality exists. It's the one that says, " What I'm doing isn't working. I don't matter. No one pays attention to me. I want to give up." (If you believe "depression is a choice" or don't really understand it, I suggest you visit http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml).
I fall victim to my own great expectations. No matter what I do or what I say, the judge in me can easily choose to nullify everything; every step, every effort and every piece of "success."
The truth is that true acceptance and perfect self love is hard for anyone. That's why its a journey of fascination for me. Not just on a personal level, but on a psychological level. In fields like Positive Psychology and Personality Psychology, looking at all measures of self concept are the most compelling stories of human behavior. Self acceptance is hard for anyone, but especially those with the most critical, heart and mind.
Naturally, I'm critical and I overthink, but when you take account of my brain chemistry at times (the depression) I become anxious. I become obsessed. I become inundated with thoughts that counter what I KNOW to be my true being. My advantage: I'm extremely cognizant of the mental and at times spiritual battle going on inside of me, which is why I know what I need to do to recalibrate my internal state.
There is beauty in learning about yourself. There is beauty in accepting your own journey, your own truths, your own limited limitations, and the possibilities that exists. There is beauty in timing. There is beauty in special relationships. There is beauty in darkness. There is beauty in life.
Sometimes life gets hard and overwhelming but we must just pray and surrender, and continue to love on ourselves.
No matter what, I still chose to love on myself (even though my mind didn't connect to it) I worked out, prayed, meditated, burned my incense/sage, watched what would make me laugh, listened to my sermons and read uplifting messages.
I knew I'd come around. ..eventually. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing . I'm glad to say I'm back.
Do you have a story of triumph? Would you like to share something from your own self love journey. I and the world want you to share your story. Please email email@example.com if you want to be featured as a guest blogger.
By: Tiffany W.
It's #fearlessfriday wooot woot!
Let go of fear, and hold on to FAITH! Have Faith in yourself to be bold, courageous, and free enough to live YOUR life how YOU WANT TO!
Question: Why are people so afraid of BEing themselves?
Others opinions can be so impactful on your life if you let them, whether you see them as positive or negative. But what about just going with your own gut? What about taking your own risk? What about finding out what joy and success mean to you? At the beginning and end of the day, YOU get to deal with YOU; your thoughts, emotions, habits, fears, wishes, goals, discomforts...thats all you.
Understand for every action there is a reaction, and everything we choose to do or not do in this life affects someone else, but if you're living to appease others, that's a limiting way to live. People will disagree with choices you make and that's ok. It's your life and others don't have to understand.
Want to start a business? Do it. Want to get a makeover? Do it. Want to move to another location? Do it. Want to leave everything behind and travel the world? Do it. Want to try a new hobby that seems out of your comfort zone? Definitely do it. Want to change career fields? Do it. Want to step out of the box you and others have put you in? Do it!
The first commandment of Self Love that I discuss in my book BE Love: Daily Intentions Guiding You to Self Love is Honor Thyself. Well it's difficult to really love yourself if you don't A. Know who you are B. Allow yourself to just BE C. Can't connect with that commandment because you're looking at yourself through other's eyes. Get your mind and spirit aligned. Learn to follow your spirit and intentionally connect to who you want to be and what you want to do with this life!
By: Tiffany W.
Who doesn't love Fridays! It's the day that most people get relinquish a little responsibility and just BE! You may take some time to think about the week and usually say, Dang Its been a Hell of A Week! Well what if you took the same approach to life and reflecting on past decisions? Because even though the week has been hell, you're not harboring shame, anger or guilt from it...
Well like you love Fridays, I love moments that lead to reflection and growth! Whenever I'm deep in the presence of an epiphany or realization, I say, " Oh yes. The shift is real." Growth is all about the shifts that happen throughout life. A shift in understanding, leads to a shift in perspective, which often times (if you're focused on transformation) leads to a shift in behavior patterns.
When the shift is real, it feels oh so good. But would you like to know the sacrifice that must come before a shift?
Releasing self judgment of any decision or action as a mistake or bad. Now, that's not an exit for one to escape the law of self accountability because if you caused physical, emotional, or mental damge to a person or situation then you need to take responsibility for that and realize there were some more appropriate choices that could have been made, but it's not mistake. In truth, you did what you did because you wanted to do it. Regardless if you ignored your center when it told you to stop, walk away or you shouldn't be doing this. The execution of a decision or behavior taught you something about yourself, taught someone else something about you, and added to the overall colorful story of the human experience.
What we deem as mistakes are really paths to transformation. We all need a reason to transform, and often times its our dishonorable patterns that leads us to those changes. I often say, its at the point, when a women realizes how she dishonor her body and spirit that she begins to explore a path of mindfulness. After too many unhealthy relationships do women realize they need to reassess why they go after or attract the mates they do. Its after issues with eating disorders, physical health, not taking pictures due to Shame, or hearing how negative their self talk is about their bodies that women realize they need to improve their relationship with their bodies.
One of my favorite quotes from Elizabeth Gilbert, writer of Eat, Pray, Love is, " Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. " Above all, it's absolutely true. First Commandment of Self Love is Honor Thyself, and that is a commitment to accepting all the decisions you've made in your life. Let them lead you to a beautiful freedom or going higher in your BEing; becoming stronger and wiser.
Upon intitial reflection, it's easy to say that certain decisions we frown upon our mistakes, but the more time you take to think about them, the more you realize what you've learned and how they really did open your eyes to understanding the world much different. Who you were when you made those decisions is not who you have to be when you're reflecting on them. You choose what you want to be while embracing all that you are and have been because it's all one.
By: Tiffany W.