Newness brings excitement! Newness can also bring discomfort, especially if something is so new, it's out of your comfort zone. But that's ok, we're all about transforming and growing so we have to learn to be ok with discomfort.
Think about when you were in middle or high school. You had 1 pair shoes you may have loved but at some point they started to get uncomfortable. They started to get tighter and maybe rub against your toes or the back of your heal. Your feet were growing and the effects were uncomfortable until you acknowledged, ok it's time for new shoes, I can't fit these anymore.
Well it's the same with our mindsets and behaviors. We are so attached to our current ways but maybe some person, some transition, some situation, or literally time causes a shift in change, growth, and transformation. We must give up some old ways to make room for a better life.
We are creatures of habit, so change can be not only difficult but resisted. Sometimes we say we want change but because we only know our current realities, we don't know what it actually takes to change or get the outcome we desire.
Some people want a lean, sculpted body but most have no idea of the mental discipline it takes to follow a strict nutrition and fitness regiment. Some people want to be wealthy, but they too have no idea what level of discipline it takes to build wealth. To get from Point A to Point C, there will be change and it will be uncomfortable.
Newness can mean lots of new disciplines: Long hours, saying no to what you don't need, saying yes to what you do need, changing how you think, changing what you believe, or even changing who you hang around.
It's a new week, and in celebration of newness, I challenge you to think about how you can grow. What new perspectives can you take on? What new habits can you begin to form to become a new and better you?
Could you improve at work? In your romantic relationship? In your interpersonal relationships? In your relationship with your self?
BE Open to a new perspective. Newness births greatness. Newness births expansion and elevation. Newness stimulates you. Newness connects you to a new world, a new way of living and even new people.
By: Tiffany W.
Humans share a lot of characteristics. Bones, organs, opposable thumbs, communication skills, and basic emotions. There is more that connects us than distinguishes, but let's be really clear, everyone does not think or act the same.
In a world of similarities, there are outliers. Outliers are those who don't necessarily operate in the same capacity as others, for different reasons. The extremely mentally ill, artistic geniuses, the super wealthy, social movement leaders, tech genuises, inventors, and spiritual/mindfulness leaders. These people's lives are a reflection of what's going on in their heads.
With that being said, you may be one who thinks and acts differently than many around you. At times it can be frustrating because you may be misunderstood or even ridiculed. If you're a big thinker, a dreamer, and a visionary, others will confront you with doubt. If you are on a serious journey of love and higher thought, people may call you unrealistic.
Embrace it. Yes you can be an unicorn while still accepting others views and behaviors.
One idea that many people have is that their way is the only way; the right way or the best way. Their way of living, speaking and especially thinking.
I have a friend who acknowledges that they think outside the box and they think for themselves, but if you attempt to show an alternative perspective, they're extremely closed.
The greatest minds know that there is more they don't know. When you ever get to a place in life that you feel you reached the pentacle, it might be time to surround yourself with different people and a new environment because you don't know what you don't know, and you definitely don't know that there's a different perspective that will push you.
Embrace who you are but be conscious not to let your ego be bruised by the judgments of others neither let your ego become too inflated to believe there's no other way to think, live or be beyond your own understanding.
By: Tiffany W.
There's a whole lot that in occurs in our lives everyday. We`ve all had situations and circumstances that could have derailed our lives. We've been through major transitions that have brought about feelings of ambiguity, joy, sadness, excitement, and even disappointment. Despite all that, one thing that remains constant, is that change occurs, and we are present for it all. So when we can choose to respond and sit in feelings such as anger, sadness, doubt, distrust, or discontent, we can powerfully choose to live life staying full of love and hope.
What does that look like?
Well that is you staying in the moment and being still in the moment while choosing to balance not only your expectations but also how you choose to honor your self, mind, body,spirit, and stay in a place of forgiveness; you know, abiding by the 5 commandments of self love. See, love really has the power to transform life and all that you choose to see.
Think about it. If you've ever been in love or have known someone who's been in love, you know everything experienced is different. Love has an effect on how you smile, interact with others, and even what you truth you decide to see in life. Well, romantic love isn't the only love with life-changing impact. So is self love, and just a centrally spirited sense of love in general.
While others around you choose to worry about being good enough, the evils of the world, the amount of wealth accumulation they have (or for most of us, the amount of debt), and why it's a good reason to not trust others or believe there is even good left in this world, you can choose a different perspective. You can choose love and hope.
Yes there are inequalities, dangers, hurtful people, and many barriers that exist in the midst of a possible great life, but at the end of the day your attitude is the determining factor. Consider the perspective that there is a life of abundance, a life if love, a life of possibilities, a life in which you can make a difference, a life that you're worthy of attaining or at least going after.
Cutting your self off to the possibilities of life is not one reflective of choosing to honor your self, mind, body,or spirit. Self love is more intricate in living a great life than most people consider. So today, this week, every day and every week, work on choosing to activate a feeling, perspective and walk of love and hope. I guarantee life will not only feel better but it will be better.
By: Tiffany W.
When I think of how truly connected everything in life is, I joyfully think about the song and opening scene of Disney's The Lion King, in which all the animals from the pride lands came to the birthing ceremony of Simba. In the background, we hear a story about the Circle of Life.
I mean, really dissect the lyrics.
"From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round
It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life"
The circle of life, the food chain, destiny, serendipity, and "everything happens for a reason" are
all very similar notions to me. Every thing and every being has a purpose. All that is orchestrated naturally in our lives, is testament that life happens full circle. Birth and death. Loss and gain. Joy and sadness.
The opposition of life is so important to understand and embrace because it shapes you to be stronger, more resilient, and of greater gratitude, if you choose to look at life's opportunities in such a way. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond.
Well, if we embark on the journey of life with an open mind and spirit, knowing for sure that every person, lesson, and experience is working together, life's blows can be taken standing straight up. To be simple, I suggest for to just believe that one day, it will all make sense because it will! I promise. Well, if you're open to connecting the dots.
When you're experiencing whatever you're experiencing, sometimes you can wonder to yourself, Why? Why is this happening? You might even go so far as to wonder, why is this happening to me?
Well ...why not you? Why not now? Why not? Are you so special and unique that you should be exempt from the difficulty and challenging times of the human experience? I think not. But as you ask those questions, consider your role in the plot of life. See we have thoughts and actions that often bring certain occurrences in our lives, but in a grander scheme, we also are just containers for God's greater plans. Our influence and control only goes so far.
So in understanding that there's a grander scheme than we can imagine or create, we can choose to look at life differently. Honoring the journey, the confusion, the timing, and the seemingly incongruity. When things just don't make sense, I think that's a sign!
It's the beginning of a beautiful week, and I want you to choose the attitude," something great is in store and this is serving a great purpose! "
"This" can be the day, week, interaction with a stranger, coworker, family member, traffic, or even the time in your life. Shift your relationship with time, expectations, and development.
BE Open. BE Hopeful~
By: Tiffany W.
Your life is shaped primarily by one process: thought.
How you think affects how you see and experience the world; it affects your choice in relationships, careers, and lifestyle. Your thoughts affect your relationship to fear and love.
One of my 5 Commandments of Self Love is Honor Thy Mind, which essentially means recognize/acknowledge the power of your mind along with its sensitivity. Honoring your mind means to actively be aware of all that you do which may shape its existence.
What are you listening to? What are you watching? What are you reading? What are you believing? What are you visualizing? What are you saying to yourself?
The condition of your mind truly does affect the condition of your life. I don't believe anything is absolute, so I don't believe that every single thing in your life is a reflection of your thoughts but, just as the Earth and our bodies are nearly 70% water, I do believe a high percentage of our lives are merely our thoughts manifested.
As a woman of today, you have more pressure than ever to do and be so much.
More often than not you're comparing your body, love life and sense of success with other women. Stop. Use others as inspiration not as a platform for comparison.
I want you to know that striving for your highest best self is a noteworthy goal. When you reach for something more, you challenge yourself and grow. The issue is when you stop reaching, you block your mind from continuing to develop, thus your life stands in a place of stagnation. Most people are comfortable there, but rarely does anything special happen in your comfort zone.
I challenge you to let go of limiting beliefs. Let go of thoughts that are opposite of, I'm good enough, I am strong, I am beautiful in and out, I am a conquerer, I am bold, I am loved, I am important, I am me.
Go forth today with an intention to focus on positive thoughts, even if it comes to not so positive people and situations.
By: Tiffany W.
Thank GOD it's Monday!
The beginning of a new week. It's a fresh day, a fresh morning which means you have made it beyond your past and each moment is closer to the future, as even the future becomes the past.
It's really an exciting concept when you think about how beautiful time is. Allowing us to experience the miraculous event of life itself, but far too often we don't even pay attention to the beauty in each moment and even each minute that might be ahead of us.
Yes the weekend is over. You're weekend was either great or completely uninteresting (maybe somewhere in between). Spring is here so your favorite shows are ending (or starting). Your social media timelines are being flooded with remnants of breakups or weddings (it's definitely wedding season but for some reason it's arrived a bit early this year).
All in all, just like Monday, spring represents the beauty of new life. The transition from cold storms to the blossoming of beautiful flowers.
In each new season, new month, new week and new day, take with you the lessons and values of the past, but choose to leave worry, discontent, dissatisfaction, loneliness, hurt, anger, or even indifference in the past.
As always, everyday can be as equally amazing if you see it that way. Set a powerful intention. Seek out positive encouragement. Choose to shift any perspectives that aren't serving you. Honor yourself and those around you throughout the whole day.
By: Tiffany W.
Happy #selflovesunday BEautiful BEings! Its the day of spiritual revival and I myself and feeling renewed. Good things always happen to our souls on Sundays. Its the beginning of the week and I want to share something special with you.
Today I got the most empowering text from a good friend and sister like figure in my life. She said, "Have you been posting anything? the last post I could see is the Valentine's day one, I think something may be wrong with my browser. Let me know."
Do you know why that was empowering? Because I wanted to quit blogging. I knew I wasn't going to quit but I considered, what do I need to do differently to make an impact? I truly want to create content that the average gen y woman can relate to and to be honest when people don't comment, like, repost or even acknowledge what you do, it's easy to think, well maybe it's not good. It's good enough for me because it's my truth, but I have to consider as to whether it resonates with others...
That text let me know, that even if it's just 1 person, someone cares.
I'm going to have a truth moment with you:
I have been frozen for literally 1 week. No writing (until last night). Little feeling. Little exposure. Little interaction. I've confined myself to my room for the most part. Laying in bed, praying, meditating and watching movies I've seen 100 plus times. As I've felt emotionally dead, mentally I've driven myself insane 100 plus times.
Feelings of failure, despair, confusion, dissapointment, and dare I say doubt. About what? The path I'm on. See, from a place of faith and spirituality, I can see the future, but the present leaves me in total confusion sometimes. One thing I know for sure is that when you get a vision from God several times in your life, that vision is showing you whats possible. I believe divine sight, inspiration and vision is real. Whatever God shows you, will always take place. I've seen my life. I've seen the impact, the joy, the love, the abundance, the family, the philanthropy, and the legacy.
The problem with having such clarity while being a typical millennial and someone with depression, is that I become an enemy of time. With visions and goals there comes action. With action, there's not only expected outcomes, but expected outcomes on my timeline. Certain times of the year falling on my face is no problem, I get that happens in life. Other times, the times in which I'm most prone to experiencing a depressive episode, my failed Great Expectations become a problem.
The reality that I know: Life is NEVER as bad as it SEEMS. If you can find gratitude in having shelter, food, health, clothing and love, you're doing better than about 2/3rds of the world. In the end, the world never really knows what might have been done (in light of failure) they just remember you're impact (whether negative or positive). The reality that my well self knows: I am enough.
Well reality has almost nothing to do with the mind of someone in a depressive state. A different darker dimmer reality exists. It's the one that says, " What I'm doing isn't working. I don't matter. No one pays attention to me. I want to give up." (If you believe "depression is a choice" or don't really understand it, I suggest you visit http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml).
I fall victim to my own great expectations. No matter what I do or what I say, the judge in me can easily choose to nullify everything; every step, every effort and every piece of "success."
The truth is that true acceptance and perfect self love is hard for anyone. That's why its a journey of fascination for me. Not just on a personal level, but on a psychological level. In fields like Positive Psychology and Personality Psychology, looking at all measures of self concept are the most compelling stories of human behavior. Self acceptance is hard for anyone, but especially those with the most critical, heart and mind.
Naturally, I'm critical and I overthink, but when you take account of my brain chemistry at times (the depression) I become anxious. I become obsessed. I become inundated with thoughts that counter what I KNOW to be my true being. My advantage: I'm extremely cognizant of the mental and at times spiritual battle going on inside of me, which is why I know what I need to do to recalibrate my internal state.
There is beauty in learning about yourself. There is beauty in accepting your own journey, your own truths, your own limited limitations, and the possibilities that exists. There is beauty in timing. There is beauty in special relationships. There is beauty in darkness. There is beauty in life.
Sometimes life gets hard and overwhelming but we must just pray and surrender, and continue to love on ourselves.
No matter what, I still chose to love on myself (even though my mind didn't connect to it) I worked out, prayed, meditated, burned my incense/sage, watched what would make me laugh, listened to my sermons and read uplifting messages.
I knew I'd come around. ..eventually. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing . I'm glad to say I'm back.
Do you have a story of triumph? Would you like to share something from your own self love journey. I and the world want you to share your story. Please email email@example.com if you want to be featured as a guest blogger.
By: Tiffany W.
It's #fearlessfriday wooot woot!
Let go of fear, and hold on to FAITH! Have Faith in yourself to be bold, courageous, and free enough to live YOUR life how YOU WANT TO!
Question: Why are people so afraid of BEing themselves?
Others opinions can be so impactful on your life if you let them, whether you see them as positive or negative. But what about just going with your own gut? What about taking your own risk? What about finding out what joy and success mean to you? At the beginning and end of the day, YOU get to deal with YOU; your thoughts, emotions, habits, fears, wishes, goals, discomforts...thats all you.
Understand for every action there is a reaction, and everything we choose to do or not do in this life affects someone else, but if you're living to appease others, that's a limiting way to live. People will disagree with choices you make and that's ok. It's your life and others don't have to understand.
Want to start a business? Do it. Want to get a makeover? Do it. Want to move to another location? Do it. Want to leave everything behind and travel the world? Do it. Want to try a new hobby that seems out of your comfort zone? Definitely do it. Want to change career fields? Do it. Want to step out of the box you and others have put you in? Do it!
The first commandment of Self Love that I discuss in my book BE Love: Daily Intentions Guiding You to Self Love is Honor Thyself. Well it's difficult to really love yourself if you don't A. Know who you are B. Allow yourself to just BE C. Can't connect with that commandment because you're looking at yourself through other's eyes. Get your mind and spirit aligned. Learn to follow your spirit and intentionally connect to who you want to be and what you want to do with this life!
By: Tiffany W.
Hey Ladies! The timelines you have in your head about these "milestones" you must meet, are not real. I'd first like to bring to attention, the obsession with 30. You know what I'm talking about.
For starters, most of you want to be in your dream career, job, car, and/or living situation by 30. Yes, the idea of pure independence and social power as a woman definitely seems like the way to go. You possibly spend your 20s sacrificing your physical and mental health so you can satisfy your ego and obtain the "things" your heart desires. If you have all that, or are working on all that, that's wonderful for you. It's great to have goals to work towards. It keeps life fascinating. On the flipside, are you constantly comparing yourself to others if in fact you haven't acquired those "things" yet? Are you allowing those acquisitions define your value? Do you see yourself as less or more valuable without or with them, respectively?
Secondly, are you feeling the pressure to be a global citizen? According to MMGY Global, 6 in 10 millennials would rather spend money on experiences than on things. Translation, we travel a lot! With hundreds of travel blogs, social media accounts deddicated to deals and photo sharing, one could feel the "pressure" to travel. Well, one could also feel that they have to get all the adventure out of them now, right now, this very moment, especially before 30 when life "begins. " Give me a break. I get your YOLO mentality, and I understand you never know what the future holds, but if other generations could survive putting off travel, you won't go off the deep end if you waited.
Hmmm, what do we have next? Ahhhh good ol marriage. Now this right here...this is the whole reason behind this post. Elite Daily posted an article this week, sharing that a 29 year old woman who had been in a 2 year relationship committed suicide because her 30th birthday was days away and she was not married nor with children. Her goal: have a family by 30. May her soul rest in peace. This right here calls for major conversation. This story, plus that of women marrying themselves, just tugs on my heart.
Life is not defined by you obtaining a husband (or wife). You are more than a BEing waiting for a ring and ceremony. Yes, love enhances your life so much more. Yes, having a committed long term partner makes life a little sweeter, but life is so much more. Do you love yourself? Like, reeeeeaaaallly love yourself? Do you give to others? Do you pour love in others? Have you connected to and began walking in your purpose?
Marriage is an institution of security, moreso for the woman than man. A wife secures a man to bear children and obtain wealth. That's the history of it. Marriage until the late 19th century, has never really been about Love. Its been about security. The presence of motion pictures began to really idolicize notions of romance. Now today, partially thanks to companies like Disney and DeBeers, we are obsessed with romamce, rings, marriage (as an event more than a committment). Women in the US, used to get married in their teens because they had to. Now we have the power to choose because we don't need marriage for financial security. Dwell in that. For the most part, your life in 2015 is marked by a sense of freedom. You don't live in 1920. Which also means you can speak up and become more involved in the process.
This married by 30 business can lead to diminished esteem, depression, anxiety, and desperation. First off, anyone can GET married but it's not just about getting married...its about staying married. Learn who you are. Find your purpose. Live your happy. Fall in love with you and you'll attract what you want, I'm so sure of it.
There is no rule as to when you "should" get married. It's a mental and social construction. ITS NOT REAL! Come back to reality please. You're causing yourself unnecessary stress and pressure, and that is not healthy.
Ask yourself, do you a wedding or a lifetime of commitment with someone? Do you realize that marriage is not just about having someone forever? Are you the person you need to be, to even be married? Are you selfless? a good communicator? aware of your faults? actively working on healing past hurts and trauma? trusting? a committed person?
Hey woman, let that obsession go, whether you're 25 or 35. Live life and whatever you're searching for, will find you.
By: Tiffany W.
**View Article referenced in post
Do you know there's an estimated 7 billion humans walking this Earth?
More than half of those humans are actually women!
What do you think that may mean? Well to me, that means, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Take that in. It's a simple yet possibly emotionally impactful statement. Why? Because when people, especially women (can we admit we're a tad bit more emotional and irrational at times?) go through their Life Crap, they think they're alone! They think their struggle, pain, dysfunction, confusion, disappointment, lost, depression, and especially heartbreak keeps them wrapped up in this bubble that reads, "Girl you are all alone. Be ashamed. No one can know. No one can understand. Struggle through this Life Crap all alone!" It's rather ridiculous. Wouldn't you agree?
You are not the only one to be hurt. You are not the only one who had an abortion. You are unfortunately not the only one who's been a survivor of domestic violence or sexual assault. You're not the only one who's used their body to fulfill voids of love and esteem. You are not the only one who's regretted coming between another relationship. You're not the only one battling an addiction. You're not the only one who's contracted a STD/STI. You are not the only one to be discriminated against or undermined because of your body, skin color, hair, sexuality, or gender. You are not the only one that has an unhealthy relationship with your body and feels the need to obsess over every crevice, inch, pound or calorie. You are definitely not the only one who's experienced heartbreak. You're not the only mother that sometimes feel like they want to walk away from their husband and children. You're not the only one questioning you're long term relationship or marriage because you've realized you're transforming. You're not the only one who's been cheated on, lied to, or just flat out abandoned. You're not the only one without a mother or father (whether by their choice or death). You're not the only one that is "young" facing a terminal illness. You're not the only one that doesn't know their purpose, or know what they want to do with their life. You're not the only that "feels like a failure." You're not the only one in major debt with a job that barely has a liveable wage. You're not the only unemployed, homeless, or car-less (of course these are moreso 1st world problems). You're not the only one who's afraid to go after their dream. You're not the only one that hates their job and feels stuck.You're not the only angry, sad, or confused. You are not the only one who really doesn't know what it means to be happy, in love, or satisfied with life. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I know in your alone time. you reflect, compare your life to those who you follow on social media and in blogs, and it has you twisting up reality. I know it feels really hard to grasp the answer to all the WHY's in your life. Some times, the weight of the world seems so heavy, you just don't know what to do. But guess what? YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
What happened if you realized that your experience was synonymous with someone else's? and it was ok to be transparent to SOMEONE because you never really know what someone else is going through? What could happen if you actually believed that in the midst of all the confusion, hurt, disappointment and loss, you could actually choose to BE OK, and know that life is actually OK?
One thing that I know for sure is that pain is real. Its as real as your mind tells you it is.If you're mind doesn't focus on pain, well it wouldn't exists. As someone who's experienced at least 2 depressive episodes a year since I was 7, I know what it feels like to be caught up in your mind. I also know the freedom of sharing your innermost self with others. It can be nerving, but it is love. How so? Well, not only are you learning to accept yourself, you're teaching others to accept themselves while also possibly helping them heal through their own Life Crap.
If you are feeling alone or if you ever feel alone, as if no one can understand or relate to whatever you're feeling, I want you to talk to someone. I want you to write, sing, dance, draw, or paint through whatever you're going through. I want you to find a way to express yourself, speak up and speak out. Sharing your truth is the most powerful step you can take in healing yourself. Learn to find peace with wherever you are in life. That is the power of the first commandment of self love, Honor Thyself. Learn to embrace who you are, what you've been through and what you're going through.
BE OPEN to Loving Yourself~
By: Tiffany W.