It's #fearlessfriday wooot woot!
Let go of fear, and hold on to FAITH! Have Faith in yourself to be bold, courageous, and free enough to live YOUR life how YOU WANT TO!
Question: Why are people so afraid of BEing themselves?
Others opinions can be so impactful on your life if you let them, whether you see them as positive or negative. But what about just going with your own gut? What about taking your own risk? What about finding out what joy and success mean to you? At the beginning and end of the day, YOU get to deal with YOU; your thoughts, emotions, habits, fears, wishes, goals, discomforts...thats all you.
Understand for every action there is a reaction, and everything we choose to do or not do in this life affects someone else, but if you're living to appease others, that's a limiting way to live. People will disagree with choices you make and that's ok. It's your life and others don't have to understand.
Want to start a business? Do it. Want to get a makeover? Do it. Want to move to another location? Do it. Want to leave everything behind and travel the world? Do it. Want to try a new hobby that seems out of your comfort zone? Definitely do it. Want to change career fields? Do it. Want to step out of the box you and others have put you in? Do it!
The first commandment of Self Love that I discuss in my book BE Love: Daily Intentions Guiding You to Self Love is Honor Thyself. Well it's difficult to really love yourself if you don't A. Know who you are B. Allow yourself to just BE C. Can't connect with that commandment because you're looking at yourself through other's eyes. Get your mind and spirit aligned. Learn to follow your spirit and intentionally connect to who you want to be and what you want to do with this life!
By: Tiffany W.
Do you know there's an estimated 7 billion humans walking this Earth?
More than half of those humans are actually women!
What do you think that may mean? Well to me, that means, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Take that in. It's a simple yet possibly emotionally impactful statement. Why? Because when people, especially women (can we admit we're a tad bit more emotional and irrational at times?) go through their Life Crap, they think they're alone! They think their struggle, pain, dysfunction, confusion, disappointment, lost, depression, and especially heartbreak keeps them wrapped up in this bubble that reads, "Girl you are all alone. Be ashamed. No one can know. No one can understand. Struggle through this Life Crap all alone!" It's rather ridiculous. Wouldn't you agree?
You are not the only one to be hurt. You are not the only one who had an abortion. You are unfortunately not the only one who's been a survivor of domestic violence or sexual assault. You're not the only one who's used their body to fulfill voids of love and esteem. You are not the only one who's regretted coming between another relationship. You're not the only one battling an addiction. You're not the only one who's contracted a STD/STI. You are not the only one to be discriminated against or undermined because of your body, skin color, hair, sexuality, or gender. You are not the only one that has an unhealthy relationship with your body and feels the need to obsess over every crevice, inch, pound or calorie. You are definitely not the only one who's experienced heartbreak. You're not the only mother that sometimes feel like they want to walk away from their husband and children. You're not the only one questioning you're long term relationship or marriage because you've realized you're transforming. You're not the only one who's been cheated on, lied to, or just flat out abandoned. You're not the only one without a mother or father (whether by their choice or death). You're not the only one that is "young" facing a terminal illness. You're not the only one that doesn't know their purpose, or know what they want to do with their life. You're not the only that "feels like a failure." You're not the only one in major debt with a job that barely has a liveable wage. You're not the only unemployed, homeless, or car-less (of course these are moreso 1st world problems). You're not the only one who's afraid to go after their dream. You're not the only one that hates their job and feels stuck.You're not the only angry, sad, or confused. You are not the only one who really doesn't know what it means to be happy, in love, or satisfied with life. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I know in your alone time. you reflect, compare your life to those who you follow on social media and in blogs, and it has you twisting up reality. I know it feels really hard to grasp the answer to all the WHY's in your life. Some times, the weight of the world seems so heavy, you just don't know what to do. But guess what? YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
What happened if you realized that your experience was synonymous with someone else's? and it was ok to be transparent to SOMEONE because you never really know what someone else is going through? What could happen if you actually believed that in the midst of all the confusion, hurt, disappointment and loss, you could actually choose to BE OK, and know that life is actually OK?
One thing that I know for sure is that pain is real. Its as real as your mind tells you it is.If you're mind doesn't focus on pain, well it wouldn't exists. As someone who's experienced at least 2 depressive episodes a year since I was 7, I know what it feels like to be caught up in your mind. I also know the freedom of sharing your innermost self with others. It can be nerving, but it is love. How so? Well, not only are you learning to accept yourself, you're teaching others to accept themselves while also possibly helping them heal through their own Life Crap.
If you are feeling alone or if you ever feel alone, as if no one can understand or relate to whatever you're feeling, I want you to talk to someone. I want you to write, sing, dance, draw, or paint through whatever you're going through. I want you to find a way to express yourself, speak up and speak out. Sharing your truth is the most powerful step you can take in healing yourself. Learn to find peace with wherever you are in life. That is the power of the first commandment of self love, Honor Thyself. Learn to embrace who you are, what you've been through and what you're going through.
BE OPEN to Loving Yourself~
By: Tiffany W.
As "BE" drives to promote a message of women embracing, accepting and loving their full selves, it's a celebration when stories about empowerment and body positivity make it to the headlines. For years, there always at least one video or picture that goes viral showing the dramatic "transformation" that Photoshop Editors drag a magazine or advertisement photo through. The exposure of such practices, have recently created more and more conversations about how "unrealistic" images of women are in the media, especially in print. Such conversations have been crucial in creating a sense of transparency around what it means to really Honor Your Body. The first step, acceptance.
I do very well believe we are in this space of transparency when it comes to real women and their relationship with their bodies and those seen in media. It's a fuzzy space though.
See, the road seems to have several paths.
1. An obsession with health and "fitness." I put fitness in (") because while many women live a healthy lifestyle to be healthy, there are women who feel the need to overdo their fitness to fit in an ideal. They feel the need to "push themselves" because that's what all the memes say... -_- . As a wellness advocate, I believe living a healthy active lifestyle can transform your entire being, but if you embark on it and you are constantly on the scale, comparing yourself to others, and being hard on yourself, it really defeats the purpose.
2. "Curvy" has been equated to extreme hour glass figures. The Idealization of entertainers like Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, and Kim Kardashian create this body ideal that most women will never meet unless they indulge in cosmetic enhancements.
3. Then their is the full blown Body Positivity movement!
Even though social media sucks a lot of millennials into this vortex of comparison (which has monstrously negative effects), there are many positive accounts that promote self love and women loving everything there is to love about their bodies. Now, the heat is being turned up a notch! Major modeling agencies and magazines, are slowly but surely loosening the reigns when it comes to the images they portray. Granted, we have a long way to go, progress must be celebrated.
Within the last week, the 3 ladies above have been celebrated for breaking out, embracing themselves, and being representatives of the "average" woman. In a world that says, get this sucked in, tucked, clipped, or removed, they stand to be themselves. They are proof that walking in your truth may not always be easy, but it is always worth it. Making sure to Honor yourself, body, mind and spirit, is an absolutely liberating journey to a life of Freedom.
When you learn to accept and just BE yourself, the Universe responds. The light, the God in you shines, and you attract such a magnificent life. SO let's embrace these women, and embrace ourselves. Just by them BEIng them, they have broke barriers. The average woman in the US is estimated to be a size 14, so even though Ashley Graham is actually more "normal" than plus, its a start.
Cheers to BEing You! Happy FEARLess Friday!
By: Tiffany W.
One aspect of Honor Thy Body that's very important to me is fitness. Being physically active really does help me balance my mood and motivates me to push through life. Since the beginning of the year I've been doing 2 fitness challenges: at least 10mins of jump rope a day and run at least 1 mile per day. Well I regret to say I've missed 3 days haha but I'm still rocking with both challenges and it feels great.
The greatest thing about a challenge is understanding the psychology of it all. You actually get a perspective into your own level of commitment, excuses making, and patterns of consistency. If this was me last year I would have been so mad at myself for missing those days, but not 2015 Tiffany. I was still active those days, I just didn't go outside at all, so I didn't complete those days, and now I'm starting over, and I'm ok with that.
Well 5 days ago, a friend and wellness client of mine asked if I would find an ab challenge to do with her. I was excited because I haven't done much of abs in a while. I found this challenge and absolutely love it. Fitness in general for me is for physical and mental health, but ab work is for vanity and I'm ok with that too!
Take a stab at it for 30 days. The key to getting results is 80% nutrition so you MUST be watching what you eat. Lots of green veggies, lots of water (ideally half your body weight, but in oz of water), compelx carbs like brown rice, quinoa (keen-wah), sweet potatoes/yams (not southern style), cous cous, lentils, etc. Eat clean and do this ab challenge and I'm sure your tummy will look quite different at the end of 30days!
By: Tiffany W.
One of my 5 Commandments of Self Love is Forgive Thyself. As we reflect in others, what is in ourselves, we must learn that forgiving ourselves means to also foegive others. See, forgiving yourself is one side of the coin, and forgiving others is another. I think this lesson has been one of major challenge in my life, and coincidentally in others. We are all doing our best, and some people's best, often includes hurt and selfishness. What parent, family member, lover, friend, or colleague have you had/ are you having trouble forgiving? It could just be one, but that one case could be blocking much from your life. Remember, you and that person are aligned. In a recent breakup, I learned that once I completely forgave myself, then I forgave my ex. When I thought, I just needed to forgive my ex....it doesn't work that way. Remember, energy is never destroyed, just transferred, so whatever you hold onto, whatever is actually end you, must be released.
Allowing the residue of bitterness, hurt, or dissapointment to remain in your life is like having a clogged sink. Even though water may flow correctly from time to time, at any point, water can rise and major damage can occur. At times, love and your spirit may be in flow, but some triggering event or thought can impact and cause total disarray in your being because you have unsettled issues.
Release what you need to, so you can have an open heart. We all make mistakes, constantly. People hurt people, people disappoint people, and people are selfish intentionally and unintentionally. You (&I) are never perfect enough to look down on or be unforgiving of another. In the wake of national and international news spotlighting wars, murders, domestic violence cases, and discrimination, emotions are high not only for those involved, but also spectators, and I say, be open and forgive.
See forgiveness isn't just an act that must occur because of what someone directly did to us. No no no, it's just not that simple. We are all connected, and everything that goes on around us affects how we feel and think. Therefore our interaction with the world, others and ourselves, are directly impacted by events outside of us.
So on all levels, learn to forgive. Learn to understand. Learn to dissect the source of pain and hurt. Learn to let go. Breathe in love, exhale peace and understanding. Let's just pray for each other's healing hearts and minds.