Everyday this week is of extreme importance to me to encourage reflection, for you and for me.
Who we are and where we are in our lives up to this point is a reflection of all the decisions we have made and (not made).
There's a blessing in every moment to unfold newness; new life, new truth, new thoughts, and new actions.
BEing a creature of habit can work in our favor, when the habits we have are favorable, but can stifle us otherwise. With newness comes the opportunity to create something new within your life and within your self.
What greatness are you believing for in your life?
What thoughts, behaviors, and sentiments held you back this year up to this point?
What fears and doubts are you willing to leave behind and work on because you want to elevate your life to the next level?
What challenges to strengthen your character, confidence, professional skills, communication, health & fitness, relationships or spirituality are willing to take on this year?
In what capacity can you learn to practice the 5 Commandments of Self Love better? How can you explore Honor Thyself, Honor Thy Mind, Honor Thy Body, Honor Thy Spirit, or Forgiveness?
Ask yourself questions, especially lots of "why's". It's not only about exploring what you want and what can happen. It's really about exploring what has happened and why. Exploring the root challenges are the first step.
For example, it's great that I acknowledge a fear of failure prevented me from going after certain opportunities, but now I need explore why I have that fear, where it came from, and how I've been feeding it.
This life is a journey. We will complicate it but can always come back to our center and put everything in perspective. Taking every day moment by moment and every year day by day is all that matters.
By: Tiffany W.
Can you believe this is the last Monday of 2014???? Wow. It's unbelievable that the older you get, the faster time seems to pass. I'm starting to think that may be because we begin to put limits on time itself. Its as if we create time within time. As a child, we play, we eat, we sleep and we wonder. We don't say, ok, I can play for 20 minutes each day until x. No. Often times we exceeded our play time and were firmly reminded by parents that play time is up.
This moment and each moment we receive are truly all we have. Yes we can plan, but all we really have is right now. Let the knowing of the now and it's infinite possibilities leading to every moment be reason enough for excitement!
Do you believe in what you've been committed to doing in your life? Your job, your career, your passion, your family, etc. When there is passion and faith in your life, your excitement is evident, even in the smallest task.
You may not know exactly how the future will unfold, but you can have excitement for the direction that you are heading in. Every obstacle is leading you to a greater you because each one is making you stronger.
Every opportunity that looks like a no, is creating a path for a greater future because you are 1 step closer to a purposeful opportunity. Every severed relationship is teaching you the power of people, purpose and change. Every success shows you the possibility. It all comes together and taking a step back, can definitely help put life into perspective especially if you're not "feeling" like being present to the possibilities.
Often times what we believe can trump what we feel and in certain aspects of life this can be beneficial; let this time of reflection and preparation for the new year, be that time.
I wish you well in these last days of 2014 and pray that you will receive all the strength, love, hope, health, wisdom and encouragement you need to take you into 2015!
Let's live this life as best as we can!
By: Tiffany Wright
Happy Monday BEautiful BEing!
Ok, so its December 22nd!!! Can you believe that? We are about a week away from the new year! I feel there's a psychological rush when we hear the word "new"!
New day, new week, new year, new shoes, new clothes, new job, new home, new new new.In the light of all things new, its really important and powerful to be present to all that exists and make room for some newness.
I have been in a super reflective mode lately, and even though sometimes it makes me overthink, for the most part it just revs me up thinking of the possibilities. My grandfather always tells me, life is about probability, therefore everything and anything you desire or envision, has any probability of happening and that excites me. I mostly focus on the likelihood of something wonderful occurring and its only when fear creeps in, that doubt exists.
I don't believe in waiting until next year to begin changing things. We have new opportunities every moment of everyday, so one of the main things I've been working on releasing is fear. One of my absolutely favorite quotes is, " Fear defeats more people than anything else in this world," by Ralph Waldo Emerson and don't you know, that is the truth.
Fear takes away life! Literally. Fearing the different, the unknown, or the challenging literally keeps us from going after dreams, traveling, building or rekindling relationships, apologizing, revealing truth about ourselves, of trying new experiences. Fear. It robs us of possible life changing memories and you know what ladies, I'm tired of it. In my reflections, I acknowledge the times I have been courageous, but I cannot ignore the times I let fear get in the way of living.
What has fear stopped you from doing? It could be the smallest thing, like not asking someone a question for fear of rejection or judgment. We have to just do it. We can all support each other in this. So I'm saying, Live! BE You with confidence! BE Fearless with strength! BE Life with boldness! Live. Don't be afraid to your best, to try and succeed or even to try and fail. Go ahead and wear that look you've been wanting to wear. Go ahead and travel solo. Go after that job, relocate! Enter that race or competition. Try out that new hobby or interest, and share it with the ones you love. Leave behind that relationship. Bid farewell to that old friend. Live! Whatever that is for you, do it. Do it better than yesterday. Do it better than this last year!
Go ahead woman! Live!!!
By: Tiffany Wright
The power of surrendering.
When we are younger, we are taught that to surrender, is to give up as a sign of weakness. In war, in sports, and in battles. We grow up believing we have to fight. We have to speak. We have to work really hard. We have to overexert effort for us to get what we want out of life and from people, but the older I get, I begin to somewhat disagree.
One thing I know for sure is that surrendering is not a sign of weakness. Depending on the circumstance, it's actually a manifestation of power and self control.
There may very well be a difference between Giving Up vs. Giving in.
Giving In is surrendering to temptations that compromise your being; usually peer pressure and unhealthy habits. As women, giving in might even be letting your guard down and allowing an unhealthy person in your space. You know, how you knew you should stop entertaining thoughts or presence of that romantic interests, but they coy their way back in your mind and spirit, and you give in. You can give in to the desire to quit a race, a workout regiment, or striving for a goal.
Depending on circumstances, giving up can be an absolutely powerful experience, time and time again. Give " it" up. What is "it"? Anything that really involves the serving of your ego. It can be the fears and doubts you have around being in a healthy long term relationship. It can be the dissatisfaction and judgment you experience when you look in the mirror. Give up the inability to just walk out into the world completely comfortable in your natural self. Give up the anger, bitterness and distrust you have for others. Give up the worry, guilt, anxiety, and shame you experience at any moment because you can't completely control anything. Give up and surrender to the possibility of love, abundance and joy.
As always, I speak to you as I am on my own journey, and I can honestly say, the road of surrendering is one I travel everyday. To be honest, my progress is always manifested in conversation. I am working on not interrupting others or feeling the need to get the last word in or even impose my opinion. Boy oh boy, when I can get through a whole conversation and hold my peace, I celebrate. We must celebrate every win on our journey.
To surrender and give in to a power outside of you in order to expand the power within you, is transformational every step of the way. It's not easy, but the toll you pay on the road to mental and spiritual freedom is worth it.
Let Go. Give Up.
One of the greatest blocks that I'm learning to overcome is shame.
It feels good to be in a place to feel comfortable in yourself. Comfortable not having the answers most people expect. Comfortable with not knowing the future but staying in belief about the possibilities. Comfortable in knowing that I am doing my best despite what others may feel.
I think I got to a point of thinking, why take away my own joy in life and weigh myself in shame and guilt, when I can own my life, and float in the joy of just BEing?
I mean I used to feel shame for the smallest things. If I over committed to plans, I'd feel really guilty about telling certain parties, I'm not going to join you for x,y,z. Even if someone came over my place and I had dishes in the sink or they walked in my room which may have been unpresentable to them. If I didn't have money to put in a collection plate during offering at church. Heck, even if I realized that I totally forgot to call or text someone back in a "decent" window of time.
I'd feel shame if someone pointed out I was hypocritical about something. If I forgot to give someone a birthday card or call. If I didn't have money or take time to create a holiday gift. Even more, being 20 something with no job, little money, no car, and pretty much floating. But let me tell me you about the power of self love!
Haha...I let that mess go. I own my stuff. All of it. I accept everything in my journey, and when I "mess up" I admit it. When I'm wrong or have contradicted myself, I own it. If I do or live in some "unconventional" manner, I own that. Do you know what that feels like? It feels like freedom and obligation to only myself. I don't have children or a husband, so the only person that I'm accountable for is myself. Receiving insight of what others feel about the productivity of my life or even the alignment of my behavior no longer imposes guilt or shame on my spirit.
It is not to say I don't consider what others say, or how they react to me, but I've learned to truly embrace the 5 Commandments of Self Love, and that has allowed me to really just honor and accept myself. That is a feeling I wish more people, especially women could feel.
Women shame themselves about their bodies, their romantic choices, their sexuality, sexual or emotional traumas, eating sweets or unhealthy foods, not going going out, going out a lot, and not hitting goals "on time." Stop the shaming! Stop the guilt! I believe that when you are aligned in your mind, body, and spirit, and make decisions from a place of doing what you know is best at all times, you will be able to avoid shame and guilt. Especially for things you really didn't do.
Traditionally taboo topics such as sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, and even depression have received more of a platform because of stories that have circulated on social media in massive numbers. Understanding that no matter what struggles or traumas you experience, you are never alone or the only one experiencing them, is definitely a step towards self love and acceptance. You didn't ask to be assaulted. You didn't ask to be taking advantage of. You didn't ask to be drugged. You didn't ask to be abused mentally, emotionally, physically or financially. You didn't ask to experience feelings of hopelessness. Do not feel shame. Own your story, and maybe connect to a higher purpose, and share your story. Empower someone else. Connect to someone else.
Embrace your truth. Live in your truth. Share your truth. Heal from your truth.
Release shame and guilt. Stop wronging yourself. DO whats necessary to avoid those feelings, but if you walk into that territory, just own whatever you did or didn't do. Honor your self. Forgive yourself and forgive others.
By: Tiffany Wright.
I just want to yell to the world, Perfection Doesn't Exist!!! Its a construct and can fulfill whatever expectation you want it to!!!
Why are women so critical? I just don't understand. I'm not one of those women who spend time trying to understand men because women are enough for me. Haha, I'm just being honest.
Women are sooo critical of themselves! Their bodies, their hair, their clothes, their success compared to other women, what they need to do to get a mate, how good enough they are, and the list goes on and on and one. That's just one side of the coin; women spread their criticism to other women.
I am sorry, but no one is a supreme being on this planet. Even if you connect to the God withing you, you are still human. Everyone's truth is relative. Everyone has their own baggage, insecurities, and wayward decisions to deal with.
It actually bothers me when people tear down other people and even in a moment in which I realize I might be doing the same, I close my mouth and recenter myself. When women tear down themselves and other women, it leaves me baffled. Our BEings and lives are sooo complex, what benefit does blunt, salacious, unwarranted, and nonconstructive criticism do? to yourself or towards than other women?
Platforms like social media really magnify the "pressures of perfection" and the judgement that may reign on another woman if she falls below someone's standards and ideal. When women post pics in bathing suits or even undergarments, someone feels the need to critique their body or slut shame them. When a "scandalous" photo of a celebrity is released for a magazine shoot or even from an exclusive event, women rush to social media to critique the photos level of "appropriateness" while attacking the woman's character. Why?
In one way, we are not in control of other's reactions to what we say or do, just as other's words and actions have nothing to do with how we choose to respond, but we all impact one another to some degree. Harsh, non-supportive, and poisonous words plant seeds of depression, self image dissatisfaction, and suicidal ideations. For those who've have not got to a point in their journey in which they can learn to mentally and spiritually block/repel such criticisms the result becomes drug addiction, massive cosmetic procedures, eating disorders, body dis-morphia, and suicides.
Life is challenging enough and to add the presence of people attacking the essence of you is just a layer of confusion no one needs. Despite what others say, your journey of BEcoming whoever you want to be will be determined by your own experiences, lessons, and revelations. Growth from the stance of the human mind is somewhat complicated because you must be open to transforming while being connected and staying true to who you are.
Unfortunately we are not always aware of how we can improve, and insight from others can be beneficial, but there is a line drawn when people believe they are not good enough, beautiful enough, strong enough, etc. The "enough" factor implies that there is a level of perfection that exists, but please know that the very construction of perfection, is based and should be based on your own conception, not that of someone else's. Perfection is an ideal of infinite possibility.
Perfection could be seen as something to strive for, but I guarantee its significance can be more damaging than beneficial if not approached through an eye of self love that allows one to reach their highest form of being while honoring their full selves. The problem with "striving for perfection" is that people tend to be ungrateful with the now, over judgmental of their lives, and non-accepting of their current truths. Could you learn to accept that every moment of life and state of yourself is perfect? The power of choice is that you can strive to transform yourself and life while being centered in the understanding that no matter what, you are enough.
Just as you are enough, so is that woman you feel like judging and critiquing. You demeaning or gossiping about her does not contribute to her own self love journey. Regardless if you disagree with her decisions, her attire, her body, her job, her romantic situation, or even what she posts on social media, choose to add light rather than spread darkness. We cannot control others, but we do often impact others view of themselves. In self love, we must learn to honor ourselves and likewise honor those outside of us.
By: Tiffany Wright
Love will always do more, get more done, and change more of anything than Hate. Love will always shine light through darkness. It is the power of love that transforms our own lives. It is the power of love, that drives the compassion necessary to overcome injustice, misrepresentation, abuse, inequality and any state alike.
A realistic truth to understand is that duality is necessary. Light and Dark. Love and Hate. One could not exists without proof of another. Another truth is that no matter what, you (most individuals) are responsible and in control of your own thoughts and actions. You may influence others but you cannot control others.
Humans all experience emotions, but women, ON AVERAGE, by our very makeup are extremely emotional creatures. Especially in a situations that spark emotion around anger or disgust. Of course everyone doesn't express emotion the same, but often we react before really reflecting. Sometimes we reflect, practice how we want to respond in a situation, and still react full of intense emotion.
As a woman and as a human being you want to be heard, vindicated and right, but what if you learned to react through love.
Now I'm transparent, even though I'm not a dangerous, screaming, physical type of person, I can be combattive when I in a certain mental space ( especially when I'm hungry or hungry while mother nature is visiting). This is why in knowing that truth about myself, its even more important for me to center myself in the morning, connect to a source a love, so I can have calculated reactions/responses as opposed emotionally intensive responses.
Now the truth is, getting to that place in which you can respond to others with love is pretty tough. You have your ego as your biggest barrier ;Wanting to be right and having the last word. As any area of our character, it takes work.
Really connecting to the idea of self love and acceptance. When we can actively shift to the mindset thag we are imperfect and have different views, experiences, and values as another, we open up out spirit to accepting the differences in other. This helps satiate the desire to go off. You learn to allow your spirit to just speak its truth through your impeccable word or even when not to say anything and just keep the peace.
You can get more with honey, and you can influence change or respect more with love.
So next time that coworker shares her unsolicited opinion about your outfit, size, or work ethic to you or someone else, respond with love. When you find out someone you love may have betrayed, lied to, or dishonored you in some way, respond with love. If someone affiliated with an organization, club, culture, etc. does something you feel like misrepresents what you stand for, respond with love.
When we respond with anything opposite of love, we unsettle our own spirit. We end up becoming more irritated and we end compromising our own joy. Don't give someone else that much power.
Spread love, Give Love, Be Love, Receive Love, regardless of reward or return. It feels powerful, you sow goodness in the universe, and you teach others how to love.
By: Tiffany Wright
If you do what is right with the right attitude, you will get what you want- Joyce Meyer
It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly, than to live an imitation of somebody's else with perfection- Bhagavad Gita
Giving more to the meaning of life beyond one's self is the best anecdote to the sentiment of feeling like one's life or self is purposeless. - Me
Reaching beyond self keeps people going. In competition, you're not focused on you, you're focused on outdoing another person, so you have motivation to keep going. In care, you may change your lifestyle and commitments if you have a child, animal, or loved one you must watch after. In business, you know you must continue to work for the satisfaction of your customers. In a relationship, sometimes you must go beyond what you want, to support and build up your lover or friend. Life goes beyond you.
I think whem we connect to a purpose beyond ourself, we are always able to be a little more motivated to do more, do better, and do our best. When one cannot see beyond themselves and the value of their purpose, whether in the grand scheme of life, or even on a personal level, dissaray occurs.
What happenes when we can't feel or see beyond ourselves? We experience feelings of worthlessness, lack of peace, hopelessness, discontent, and failure.
As people we want to feel as though we matter. As women, we want to feel not only that we matter, but that we are loved, and people can see our value, but too often we don't provide our own selves with that encouragement. There are so many ideals around womanhood and what we should be. For millennials, we have to also sort through the added pressures of traditional family and career life. Many millennials are rolling in debt, and thats overwhelming for many in itself. The pressures of "success" can overwhelm anyone; if you feel like you have too much, you may not feel in control of your life and feel hopeless; if you're not living out to your own " expectations" and feel really far from your goals, you feel shame and worthlessness. Sometimes you feel like giving up, mentally or even physically. Let it go. It's difficult, I know but life is more than that. Life is more than you!
I've seen more and more stories about young women taking their lives. I've seen more posts about young mothers experiencing post partum depression. Through my work, I interact all the time, with women who feel so unimportant; life feels meaningless. Experiences around eating disorders, traumatic of patterened unhealthy relationships, or dissatisfaction with where they are in life, seem to be the biggest culprits for us women. I say BE encouraged because someone else loves and needs you; someone else believes you're amazing; someone else knows, everything will work out, and you know what, its all true!
You have a purpose, we all have a purpose, and the sooner you can find your purpose, connect to it, and connect to what you do for others, that can encourage you to keep going.
I speak from experience. I am very cognizant of my mental health battles and have gracefully been able to create my own support toolkit and action steps when I lose sight of my purpose. Every since I was little I've wanted to heal others and be a voice for those who felt like they had no voice. But like anyone who experiences the feelings I spoke about earlier, life happens, and sometimes you just don't feel like you can see the light. There are many times I didn't want to be on this Earth, even most recently earlier this year when I was going through a major depressive episode, but I had to remember, pain doesn't end with me. There were 3 constants I had kept on mind: 1)There are people who love me and if they knew how I felt or what I was thinking, they'd want it to stop. 2)If I leave, no one would carry out the vision of BE! the way God has placed it in my spirit. 3) There are people going through more anguish in life than me, and at this moment they have more hope.
All sentiments that encourage you to keep going, reach beyond self. Looking beyond yourself is how you connect to your purpose. Its your "why?" The "why" of anything is the answer to everything. Know your Why, let it guide you, let it push you. Everything doesn't have to be grand and every person isn't going to be a celebrity. Do you make others laugh? Are you a good listener? Is there power in your speaking, writing, dancing or creating of anything? Do people go to you for advice? Are you known for being really knowledgeable about certain topics?
You serve a purpose, and you are meant to be here for the benefit of at least 1 other person. You matter. Say that to yourself.
Set an intention everyday to be open to walking in your purpose.
" I am open to receive all opportunities for me serv others and fulfill my highest self. I am thankful for all that I have and have to give others to contribute to the world. I will look beyond myself and honor my existence by honoring the needs of others."
Truth Moment: You won't always feel motivated. You won't always feel your best. Life won't always be set up for you to care about others, or even feel the best about your self and your current situation, but you can choose.
Even though I know my depression occurs on a physiological level, I try to handle what I can, my thoughts or the actions that our influenced by my thoughts. I recognize this is not an advantage for every person with mood disorders, but connecting to such power can absolutely shift anything.
You are Powerful. You are Worthy. You can be full of Hope and Faith. You are a Light. You are Love. Remember that.
By: Tiffany W.
If you do what is right with the right attitude, you will get what you want- Joyce Meyer
Sometimes I don't have much to say, but I do want to come and leave here feeling reassured of your power!
Make sure to set an intention centered around love. It may be similar to, " Today I acknowledge and stay align with the beauty, strength, and purpose that lies in my imperfect perfection"- pg. 28 of BE Love: Daily Intentions Guiding You to Self Love
Whatever encouragement you feel, pass it on. Sometimes you just never know who may see it or who may need it. With the power of social media we can continue to change the world.
This past weekend I took a long overdue trip to NYC! I was excited because I haven't been since 2011, and every year since I left I kept saying, I'm going! About a month ago, I decided to book a ticket. No matter what. I'm thankful for how well it worked out, but it re-confirmed a previous frame of though I developed when I was younger: Go For It! Live the Adventure that life is!
Now I can be transparent and say, it might be a little idealistic being that I don't have kids or a husband to tend to, but its just how I really feel deep down inside. Adventure isn't about breaking the bank or even going around the world. You're not required to escape your life to be adventurous or go on adventure. I believe adventure takes faith, discomfort, and a passion for more!
When people get stuck doing the same routine, going to the same places, and having the same type of experiences, it will get old; you will get bored; and you just might feel sucky and dried out. Its the times when you go to a new part of the city, workout at a new location, meet some new people, eat at a new restaurant, or for me, buy a random groupon to do something on a bucket list, in which you feel invigorated. The spark of spontaneity and change can have a positive affect on your mind and body.
Your joy increases as a result of new stimulation your mind and body receive. Your adrenaline gets going. Through adventure you are honoring your spirit because you are choosing to awaken it to the possibility of resonating at a higher level.
Spending even 4 days in a city full of lights, laughter, winter, protests, passion, love, anger, trash, and raw talent just does something to me! Going to see a Broadway show with a great friend I haven't seen in a long time, just does something to me! Adventure is awakening! Above all, adventure is transformational.
BE Adventurous. BE Awakened~
By: Tiffany Wright