Being good to oneself seems to be a huge challenge for some and for others not so much; how does one achieve this task? Thankfully Tiffany Wright taught me the importance of personal development; I can’t stress enough the value of YOU and being good to YOU. By all means I am not perfect, but I wanted to share with you a few tips on how to really be good to yourself. These tips I learned through my own self discovery.
It is very imperative that we understand the way we move and operate as humans. We also need to recognize our importance not by our passions but through our innate gifts, which the creator above was happy to provide for us all. When I mention the process of being good to oneself; it is not intended to come from a selfish place. Albeit being selfish is not a severe concept. Being good to oneself also does not mean accommodating ones ego, by showering yourself with material possessions, just to receive validation from certain people that you don’t necessarily know or enjoy being around either. In 2014 we all need to make changes in our lives, including myself. These changes should allow us to learn more about what we are and who we are, and how we can also stop making excuses for not holding ourselves accountable for our own missions in life. Let’s start today, together!
Let Go! This might be challenging for some. We all are guilty of holding onto painful experiences that have damaged us internally. Sometimes we think “Why did this happen to me.” Or “How could they do such a thing.” We don’t always understand the complexities of it all; I’m not sure if GOD wanted us to fully understand it either. I’m almost certain that there is a lesson in every story. Instead of harboring over the painful experience, really dig deep and understand the lesson. Let go of the pain and embrace the lesson. Ask yourself what shall I learn from this story and how can I affect someone else’s life by sharing it. Learn how to be vulnerable and let go. Forgive yourself first and forgive the other party second. Share your lesson!
Know who you are Please understand that YOU are meant to have a very blissful life. Really get in touch with the essence of you. How others treat you, is really a reflection of how you view yourself. Never let anyone be dishonest with you and you should in return always speak truth, and stand firm in it. I am guilty of keeping people around, due to my own insecurities. If someone is hurting you; acknowledge it and provide them with gentle warnings. If they are not considering your feelings, kindly show them the exit door. Never be afraid of losing people, especially if you do not share the same light as them. The universe will bring to you another kindred spirit. Be honest with yourself and understand the concept of who you are. Please take heed to your wants and needs. Be good to you!
Watch what drains your energy We all know about people drainers; they can clog you up with their problems and or their mistakes. You might be a great counselor but you have to stop and think of how others problems, might subconsciously be affecting your life. Be very watchful of this. Understand your limits; what you will accept in your life and also what you will not. Protect the energy that you have, by being a human Drano. Remove the toxic waste of others energy that’s keeping you clogged up mentally, spiritually and physically. Be a great friend and lover by taking care of you first! You are the most important thing; let’s all embrace this notion.
Nature is calling YOU There is nothing more exciting to me than embracing what the universe has available for me; right outside my front door. Ahhhhhh! I can smell nature right now. You can heal your mind and soul by going outside for some fresh air, or by letting your beautiful melanin skin vibe to the golden sun. This is the perfect anecdote to cure all spiritual wounds. Please stop and realize that there is gratitude in life. Be thankful everyday that you are living and breathing; really pay close attention to universal messages around you. Messages are being presented to us every day; please detach YOU from your I-phone and androids to help you with awareness. We have become robots to society. Some things are really simple, just pay attention! Enjoy the human experience and enjoy nature.
Be alone Some of us are afraid of being by ourselves. There is nothing wrong with hanging out with just you. As a matter of fact it’s the coolest thing ever. If you can’t tolerate being by yourself for one day, then Houston we have a serious problem! Just think of all of the things you cannot tolerate about you and correct them. GOD is so good. He brings individuals in our lives for many reasons. If the qualities presented to you are negative, then gracefully take it into consideration and learn the lesson. Each person presents to us a true reflection of which we really are. This also goes back to universal messages. Don’t be angry with the individual; simply take heed and apply the lesson to your current situation. Through alone time, you can properly evaluate yourself fairly. Be alone and still; don’t harbor hatred. Keep it simple and learn!
Written By: Rena Renee
Rena is an artist and photographer in Los Angeles, California! She loves looking for all things that inspire. Check out her page of photography www.renareneephoto.com
Christmas is over, which means NEw Years is next up. Within the next 5 days there's going to be billions of people getting ready to celebrate the new years! Millions of people reflecting on 2013! millions others not caring! Millions who will thinking about what their resolutions will be and millions re-invoking the same resolutions from this current year!All in all, we know that new years is the time of resolutions. What's even more interesting though is that most people make their resolutions on or after January 1st, and by February have completely dropped their resolutions aside. What does that tell us?
Most humans have struggles with commitment and consistency. Take a look at the picture, these are the most common themed resolutions:
1) Less drinking (alcohol)
4) enjoying life
6) improve finances
8) improve health
9) quit addictive behaviors
10) be more philanthropic/helpful
Were any of these yours for 2013? Were you already considering making any of them your focus for 2014?In a group exercise, I learned Zig Ziglars major steps in goal setting, which strangely enough I have incorporated in goal setting before, but not with such specific intention. The most important aspect of goal setting is to WRITE THEM OUT, EMOTIONALIZE THEM, and VISUALIZE THEM !
Following these seven steps:
1. Identify your goal by writing it down.
2. Set a deadline for the achievement and put a date on it.
3. List the obstacles to overcome in accomplishing your goal.
4. Identify the people and groups you need to work with to reach your goal.
5. List the skills and knowledge required to reach your goal.
6. Develop a plan of action to reach your goal.
7. Write down the benefits of achieving your goals.
Understanding the importance of believing in yourself in the route to attaining your goals is the most important. No matter how small or grand, whatever a (wo)man thinketh, so is (s)he...therefore write the vision make it plain, but also have faith! If 20lbs weightloss, large savings, or a new house is your goal, you have a wealth of resources to do it, but the belief begins with you, followed with some dedication to achieving the goal! In the end, life is all about progress and not perfection. Be content where you are until you get to your next destination, but stay moving so that you don't get "stuck". It's better to hit the reset button as many times as necessary than giving up. Giving up serves as a pattern of regret, but pausing, even over and over again, doesn't mean the end. One of the best accompaniments you can have on your journey today, tomorrow, next year, and any time after is someone who support and hold you accountable for your goals! Choose however many people you need because its always great to have support system; we can have drive, but we can never do something completely on our own. Those around us motivate us in different ways, and those who don't move in life, typically don't have others motivating them or feel motivated by someone around them!
Get those pads, paper, vision boards, pens, pencils, and any goal setting materials ready! Big Things are Happening in 2014!!!
BE Proactive~BE Focused~
Written by: Tiffany Wright
In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.
—John 16:33, NKJV
Perfection is an unattainable ideal that keeps people from living their best lives. We all live through life with a set of expectations, and when they don't play out as we expect, then we are dissapointed in ourselves. It's as if we walk around with our own ideals of perfection, even though we know its possible to obtain, we impose this idea on all we do. Yet, living your best life does not equate to titles, riches, or what you consider ideal behaviors and relationships. It is not defined by how many people thought you were spotless of impurity; or perceived you as the idea of power. Living your best life is the sum of the most treasured moments in your life, hopefully outweighing what you saw as struggle. Life is 10% of what happens to us, and 90% of how we respond. Therefore, understand that your'e plans will never be carried out how you may you think; expectations of yourself and others will look differently from reality; there will always be challenges in your journey; people, finances, relationships. All that you can control is your own perception, thoughts and behaviors. At any given day different matters will impact us, and our best looks differently each day. It is the act of putting in check your perception, thought and behaviors which will allow to gracefully live through your life, accepting imperfection and even embracing it because Imperfection makes life perfect!
Isn't it funny that in hindsight, you can reflect on times in which your anxieties about the imperfections in yourself, another or situation seem so trivial compared to how those moments felt in real time? It is from this perspective I think its important to operate from. The goal is to live a life worth living! Not one in which mistakes were never made because those "mistakes" are very much a part of life. In today's world people obsess over "the grind," looking their best, acting their best, and fulfilling a laundry list of expectations they have put on themselves. I am a true believer in hard work, but I have also had enough conversations with my elders to share that those ideals obsessed over during their youth, was of no, or very little importance as they began to reflect on their lives. In our journey for attaining our desires in life, its something of importance for us to always consider our attachment to the outcomes. Are you working hard for the house, property or luxury apartment because it will give you a false sense of confidence or security? Or are you striving because you are proving to yourself that you can accomplish a goal, work for something you feel like you can deserve, and may set a great example for those around you? Well if that space is not attained, do you still value yourself and your worth ethic? Do you teach others how to set goals and focus on achieving them? I guarantee if you taught others to successfully make their dreams come true, you'de find more fulfillment in that.
Are you striving for an ideal body because you're hungry for attention, or you've absorbed the idea of medias portrayals of beauty and attractiveness? Or are you a goal digger, and an optimal body is the outcome of your health and fitness journey? Well even through the acquirement of your body, do you judge yourself for having 1 too many "cheat meals" even though on average you're pretty disciplined? So what who cares! No one is perfect, but your effort is amazing, and the others around you that you inspire to take care of themselves is of utter importance, do you recognize that?
The Gen-Y generation is marked by 2 philosophies: be free and do what you want vs. Obtain ideal education to create a powerfully impactful career (whether for passion or possession). One thing is very sure to me though, there are people who have not connected to their purposes , who feel lost; others who have spent thousands of dollars on degrees in which they begin occupations and want escape! Both groups will come across times that shake up the foundations of their ideals of perfect lives. The free spirits may face a lot of opposition for their lives, may end up in pockets of brokeness in life; the career and goal driven individuals may face layoffs, terminations, workplace politics, and even experience pockets of brokeness in their life. But what matters? Not the imperfections; it about the lessons, the grand experiences one creates around these times; the relationships; those who you positively impact.
Success is marked by the small disciplines one takes everyday. If you are constantly working towards something, some lifestyle, some mindset, no matter how it looks during the path of life, than its attainment is whats perfect, not what happens along the way...because unforeseen or undesirable events will occur.
As 2014 approaches, reflect on the greatness you experienced in 2013. Go forth setting goals for yourself, and sitting in gratitude about your growth and the amazing moments of the current year. In all your goal setting, give yourself permission now to just enjoy, and don't be so hard on yourself, no matter what the outcomes are.
Written by: Tiffany Wright
"Keep your mind open to hunches from within. Don’t wait. Move on your own initiative. No application applied faith without Action," Napolean HIll on the idea of "Applied Faith."
Whether you watch the news or spend time on social media, there is no way that you can dodge the happenings of Beyonce in the last 96 hours. On Friday night, Beyonce released a self-titled visual album exclusively via i-tunes which listed 14 tracks and 17 accompanying (plus 3 bonus) videos. Now, the conditions in which this album was released for such a mega icon as Beyonce is unheard of. Not only is the album limited to i-tunes until public release on December 20th, but fans cannot purchase any singles, each song has a video, and most importantly, there was absolutely no marketing done for the album, before release. A project that Beyonce has been working on all year, but no one in her camp knew what the outcome would be... She said that when she old her team that they were going to make an album and release all the videos at once, everyone told her she was crazy. Beyonce's intention behind the album was for fans to have experiences with the music because of the visual imagery. She didn't want her fans impacted by singles, radio or tv hype; she didn't host any listening parties. she wanted it to go straight from her heart and imagination into the eyes and ears of her fans.For the first time in her career, she wanted to have complete control over the process and as a result, she told 200k copies in 24 hours, and is past 800k copies worldwide as of 72 hours. Not only is her album number 1 in 91 countries, but at this track shes should be gong platinum within 4 days, and will make the most money on her career to date because of this album. Now some of you, may not care, or even listen to Beyonce, but in this chain of events is a great lesson: A life of authenticity, Love & risks.
When we give of ourselves whole heartedly, most authentically to the world, we in return experience an abundance in love and blessings beyond belief. When we allow our love to carry our walk through faith, what seems as miracles tend to occur. The more abundantly we give, the more abundantly we receive. The only way to truly give, is to give without expectation. Beyonce is teaching others how to believe in themselves and just give, without worry of what someone might think, or feel. It is true, that no one else will understand what you do and your efforts because God did not give them your vision, that is just for you.
Through her whole career, Beyonce experienced music and vision concurrently but has operated out of fear from her camp, management, and record execs. She finally had the faith to make demands and keep her vision to herself. She took a risk because she knew with confidence it was worth it. she wanted to pour her true self into this project and as a result historical records are occurring. It has been 3 days, and there are still no words or interviews from her, as she is still on her us leg tour. The release was preceded by a video posted on her facebook to her fans expressing that she wanted them to be immersed in how she experiences the world. It was thru this experience, that fans saw a realness and level of creativity that they've never experienced , and it opened a wave of connection that Beyonce's fans have never experienced. What she did, represents the truths and desires for so many. The lesson of just BEing. Letting your light shine and trusting yourself.
Are there visions you have in you that you have been too fearful to go after? How could you take bigger steps on your pathway? What fresh perspectives do you have that could be valuable to the world? What creations have you been waiting to share with the world? Take a lesson from Beyonce. Express your vision. Be Authentic and Trust Yourself!
Where does love come from?What is love? How does love show up? Even though I've been a "Christian" for my whole life, the phrase "God is LOve" has never made sense to me until this year. I never understood why all inclusive churches would say that. Never understood why Christians turned- un-committed to-a-God would say "LOve is my religion." Until this year. This year I have been on an intense love walk. A journey that was initiated by my own health transformation which was the catalyst to me accepting myself in ways that I hadn't before. During my journey, I cut my hair off which allowed me to "face my face" and learn to love my outside and look through to the beauty of my spirit. On this this journey, I've learned to love and accept others, one must first love and accept themselves. The theme of this walk has been Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror." A song that is very symbolic of reflecting human spirits. When want something or someone to change, we must start with changing ourselves. All that we see right or wrong in others is a reflection of what we see or want to see in ourselves. Therefore, to give love, we must love ourselves. If God is in me, and I represent love, then God is Love. If I abide by, and do everything in Love, then Love is my religion!
When I give, I give Love. I shine love. I radiate love. If I do not, or cannot find myself to love another individual then there is something in me, that I do not love.
This concept rang so loudly in my spirit today because I met a potential client, who I poured so much love into while speaking. Our conversation was about 2hours and only 20 minutes had to do with nutrition and my services as a wellness coach. We shared stories of trauma, hurt, and growth. Even though it was our first time speaking, it was as if we were old friends who were catching up. It felt so wonderful to give up myself to her. I saw so much of my past self in her, that I wanted to share so much to help her on her healing journey. I'm at a point in my life where I maintain to keep my love cup full so that it may pour over into anyone I come in contact with. And that is the lesson. You can only give what you have. What you do have, give because someone will always need it; and at your time of need someone will undoubtedly give back to you. Learn to really understand what LOVE means. It is not merely an emotion. Its more than lust. Its more than a gushy feeling. It is a pure, unconditional support and acceptance of self and others. It is the upliftment needed to empower everyone to understand their value and the greatness in walk of life. Today and everyday I practice love. Today is the first of 21 Days of LOVE. A movement that some of my fellow health coaches began. A movement to share the values that mean so much to us. My charge to you: Think of what love means to you? How do you show yourself love? How do others know you love yourself? How do others know you love them? What don't you love in others? What don't you love in yourself? Reflect and grow.
By Tiffany Wright
It is no secret that with nearly 7 billion people in this world, we are all different. Speech, looks, capabilities, beliefs, strengths, etc. Every single individual has their own set of finger prints and genome structure. Yet even though we have this knowledge, it seems so easy for individuals to compare themselves to one another. You are special and who you are, starts in your mind. The accumulation of our life experiences, beliefs, and anything picked up in our socialization process results in something called the self-concept. The self-concept is one of the most fascinating psychological phenomena to me because the world we live in, is essentially the sum of billions of self-concepts. Our world is a reflection of and impacts how people perceive themselves...thus affecting how we receive and treat one another. The self-concept is composed of our believed potentials (self-esteem) and our physical/emotional/mental perception of ourselves (self-image). For this reason, what exists in "truth" is truly up to the perceiver. the bible says, As a man thinketh, so is he. Ourr minds are the most powerful tool when it comes to how we perceive ourselves, but the small detail is that we don't even realize how our experiences or the things we've been exposed to affect the inner workings of our minds. As a Wellness Coach, one of the biggest reasons my clients come to me is because of confidence. They don't feel confident in their skin because of how they look. I totally understand this, but one of the major points I make is that help individuals live a healthy lifestyle, mind, body, spirit. Most women want to "lose weight" or don't feel comfortable because of their tummys but its not the end result of the tummy that should be so important. Now as a result of eating clean, you're tummy will in fact be smaller and tighter, but its not just aesthetics that should be so important. Now as someone in the health & fitness industry people ask, when is enough enough. Most don't understand that those in fitness are more so obsessed with idea of achieving goals, rather than what they look like. Its about setting a goal, making a plan, and challenging yourself to be dedicated and disciplined enough to see it through. That is an obsessive joy when you can become a GOAL DIGGER. Its a mentality.
Now there's a whole other mentality that attracts people to become into fitness in the first place, and thats the idea of imperfection vs. perfection. I came across these 2 videos recently and thought they were perfect contrast to one another. As the first highlights that its ok to embrace all people who are perfectly imperfect, the 2nd highlights the danger of a culture emphasizing that perfection is only attained through cosmetic enhancement. The idea that you are not good enough unless you look like someone else. The reality is, you are meant to look like you. As long as you are healthy in mind, body, spirit, you are perfect. Our attainment for "perfection" is so tainted by images we see, that we don't realize that we are constantly comparing and judging ourselves according to such images. The goal is self love through a wellness based life. If you are a size 10 at a healthy body fat, and you take care of yourself, more power to you sister. If you are lean, and don't have bulging bi-ceps...there's no need to have low confidence. Embrace who you are, understand that you can mentally and physically become the best version of yourself but don't let that be a result of what you think you're supposed to look like. We are all created different for a reason. Embrace you! Love You
Yesterday,the world lost a vessel of an angelic spirit by the name of Nelson Mandela. Mandela was an activist, justice maker, humanitarian and leader. He was the catalyst behind tending apartheid in South Africa , and he served 27 years total in prison for the fight against oppression in his country which he later served as President. He died at the age of 95, and this year had 2 movies released about his life. Since yesterday, I have been truly reflecting on his impact, and those of other great leaders and icons that have passed on since I have been alive, and one word comes to mind, gratitude. It is for certain that social problems such as poverty, the endless isms (racism, classism, sexism, etc.) war, capitalistic greed, and much more still exists, but I'm grateful. I am grateful for the amount of information and technology that is accessible for knowledge, personal growth, and economic opportunities. I am grateful for the legacy of great leaders to shed light on what selfless living looks like. Generation Y is truly one marked by entitlement. For the most part we watch, we sit, and we go after our winnings, but in the grander scheme of things, someone had to fight for us all to be as comfortable as we are. I for one am grateful. I have learned to find gratitude in the loss of a loved one, whether I know them or not. All of our lives represent a set of philosophies that give power to others. However that power looks, is only something we really realize after someone passes; We learn of legacies based on the impact they had on lives. Mandela proudly spoke out against inequality, racisim, lack of education, and the greed of nations like the US. In all that he was, he was self love. He did not live his life to go down in history, he lived his life to change the future. How many of us let that become a driving force for our lives? To live a life for something greater than you, allows someone else to live in gratitude...can you believe that? Think of Icons lost in the last 2 years or so such as Nelson Mandela, Steve Jobs, Whitney Houston, or Michael Jackson. In some way or another, they all stood for a greater purpose of empowerment and life fulfillment. Because of their lives, they've affected billions of lives, dreams and passions. Yet imagine if they did not live their purpose; for that reason, our lives would be a little bit different...which is something to be grateful for. I believe when individuals bodies are put to rest, their spirit remains. Their spirit along with their legacy; whether its a global notable figure or a family member, finding a story in their legacy makes us all a little more grateful. We say things like, "I'm grateful I woke up this morning! or Grateful for having health." Whatever it is, stay grateful and in the midst of your gratitude think about what actions could you take EVERYDAY to impact another life? How can you love harder? better? more authentically? Think about how your actions will affect your legacy, and how might it impact another's gratitude? Think about, what are you grateful for? What privileges exist in your life that you take for granted?
In your reflection, think upon some of Mandela's most notable quotes:
“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.” --Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela
“A leader. . .is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind.” --Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
“Difficulties break some men but make others. No axe is sharp enough to cut the soul of a sinner who keeps on trying, one armed with the hope that he will rise even in the end.” --From a letter to Winnie Mandela, 1975
Written By: Tiffany Wright
“If you will change, everything will change for you.”- Jim Rohn
Sometimes we make plans in life, and because of circumstances we allow ourselves to get sidetracked. Distraction happens to us all but as always, it’s about how we respond. I can think of numerous conversations with my clients on simply the matter of their nutrition and fitness plans. They are excited, we set a goal, and they get distracted, and come to a halt. This is a lesson that I consider, even myself from time to time. I learn to listen to my body, and the energy of my spirit. Sometimes, I just have to pause everything around me. Yet no matter what, I always honor myself and choose to the press the RESET button. As long as you have breath in your body, and see you another day, hour or moment, you can press reset. Now at the other end of the spectrum, at each moment in our lives we are the sum of the choices that we decided to make and not make. The outcome of that person is still allowed permission to press reset and change who they show up as. It doesn’t erase the pass, but it could sure enough make for a powerful future. At 26, I have been gone through schools, jobs, relationships, friendships, geographical locations, and several “Floating Periods,” and no matter what, whenever I felt stuck, curious of what’s next or defeated, I’ve always given myself permission to RESET.
This notion is very important because just as simple as it is to get excited and make a plan, it’s just as easy to come down on ourselves if we feel like we’ve came to a halt. The RESET represents at any moment, an opportunity for a transitional mindset. It’s as if you’re telling yourself, “Ok, self, let’s go this time. Are you ready? Let’s Do Better. Let’s Be Stronger.” This is why games are presented in fractions of times (quarters, rounds, etc.) Each block of time gives players the opportunity to triumph or progress from an earlier starting point. No different in the game of life. Never let someone tell you it’s too late to be better. There’s always more time for improvement or reconstructing.
December is a great month to reflect and think about your year up till now? What did you accomplished? Where were you strong? What could you have improved on? Most importantly, what experiences did you enjoy, and what experiences were valuable enough to live thru again?
Remember that in the end, our lives are not defined by the goals we do or don’t accomplish but the experiences we have in between. As long as you are going for those desires in your heart, not giving up on yourself, loving others, and spreading your gifts, in the grander scheme of things your life will be enjoyed.
Don’t sweat the big or the small stuff. Do your best and enjoy life in between. We make mistakes. We fall. We grow. We learn. When it’s time to reset, just evaluate your journey up to that point and put your best foot forward.
BE Flexible~BE Relentless
By: Tiffany Wright