Happy Friday BEautiful BEings!
It's the last day of October, which means we have 2 months until the new year! For me, this is the beginning of super reflective times. In the spirit of reflection, I want you to consider all the major challenges you have faced this year. Whether it was personal, in any relationship in your life, in your career, or maybe in your goals. Were there any occasions in which it appeared you were rejected or failed? Think about it all and now consider who you are today. Wouldn't you say you're a bit stronger? You have some expanded outlook and perspective?
Truth Moment:Even though we have major impact on what happens in our life, we don't have complete control and must learn to honor our experiences and the outcomes of them. There is peace in knowing that just because something was difficult to go through, just because something didn't work out how you wanted or just because you lost something or someone, you are still here. You can choose how you will show up in the world no matter what. You can choose to hold on to your power and not give it up to a person or situation that snatched a little joy from you. You are so much stronger, braver, and smarter than you give yourself credit for!
Live for today and for the amazing person you've become! Keep going, keep moving, keep smiling and keep BEing you!
BE Fearless! BE Restored! BE Bold! BE You!
Written by: Tiffany W.
Last night I had the pleasure of hosting the first Living A Life of Self Love campus discussion at Loyola Marymount and boy oh boy was it powerful! To be in a space in which BEings are open to transforming is beautiful, but being surrounded by beings of the same energy makes it even that more astounding.
If there was nothing else emphasized, it was for sure that acceptance is key to self love. Accepting your past. Learning to accept your present while staying patient and understanding the process of change and transformation. When going through life, we tend to put expectations on ourselves.
Perfection looks this way. We should eat, dress, act and look this way. We should be OK because... We should be healed because... We should get over it and be better because...
Letting go of those judgements is beyond freeing; letting go ignites an awakening. Allowing yourself to just BE and be connected to the present is so important. Don't even get caught up in your journey. Learning to just live and BE open is important. I am grateful for the vesselship I was able to bestow upon LMU, but I'm also grateful for the lessons and stories I was able to experience.
We're all just trying to live our best lives, and learning that we can take our time to do so, and possibly know 1 other person is going through life just like us, provides major relief. For all you "trying to find your way," know that you are already on your "way." You're already on a path to BEcome whatever it is you want. Don't discount who you are at this moment because you have an idea of "who you need to be." You have the choice to mold yourself AND accept who you are. There will never be an end point, so lighten up and enjoy the journey!
Written by: Tiffany W.
When some people see the word self love, they think, well, I just can't think about myself, what about everyone else? When in truth, they are 50% correct. Love is required in how you treat yourself so that you can be able to show others what love means.
When you live a life of self love, not only are you honoring yourself, but you are also showing others what's important to you, and you impact them to take on some of the practices that you've instated in your life.
One of the most simple examples of this is when you honor your body. When you eat well and regularly exercise, at least 1 person around you will admittingly or even secretly use you as motivation for their own journey. Often people are taking note of your lifestyle without letting you know, which is why everything we do in our life, makes a difference for others.
So see it this way; you loving yourself and living your best life, provides a model of what that looks like for someone else. As more people choose a life of positivity, higher consciousness, self respect, healthy selfishness, unrestricted selflessness, and honoring themselves, the world will continue to transform. We are absolutely in an age of mindfulness, and it's a beautiful thing to see it spread. Through the vehicle of social media, people share verbal and audio messages that encourage self love, tolerance, joy, gratitude and so much more.
Self love opens a new world for you as well as those around you. People learn the importance of boundaries, expectations, transparency, vulnerabilities, and most of self care.
Remember self love isn't just about you. You will always impact someone else, and are we not all meant to leave a legacy in some kind of way?
Written by: Tiffany W.
It's OK to love or care for emotionally wounded people that does not mean you have to be in a relationship with them. Misery loves company, and emotionally bruised people tend to be in relationships with other bruised people. Most of us, if not all of us, have experienced hurt and trauma. That's a truth of life. As you get older, it's not about what has happened to you, it's about your awareness and consciousness about how you deal with, face, and allow your past to interact with your present. People who feel broken use phrases like, "You complete me." You need to be as whole as possible and complete yourself. Let your partner compliment or enhance your life, not complete it. In self love, we must honor our selves. We must honor and accept that past. We must forgive ourselves and those we felt have hurt us. We must also honor our minds, bodies, and spirits, and hold others to the same honor.
Those who live unknowingly bruised, do much damage to themselves and others. Whatever deficiencies we have, we tend to look for in others to make up for or even match. Too often women who are insecure look to partners that make them "feel" safe or wanted but happen to hurt them at the same time. The problem is you go after whatever you feel is equivalent to your worth and that's not necessarily what you actually deserve.
We've been that woman or know that woman who we has a great heart, best intentions, is sweet, goes out of her way for others, may have "things" together, but ends up with someone whose disrespectful, inattentive, or emotionally, mentally, financially or physically abusive. She or you stays, despite knowing that the situation isn't supporting her/your higher being.
What's going on? She/you have not done any or enough work on honoring the complete BEing that is alive, and in dishonoring yourself, you look for and attract someone in a similar state. You're bruised, so you're with (or that woman you know) someone that is bruised. There's something in that partner that seems like a glimmer of hope, but you just experience despair over and over again.
Ladies, honor your experiences and be truthful with the parts of you that need to be healed. When you heal, you strengthen, and when you strengthen you light up, and when you light up, you know the value of the treasure that is your BEing. When you know what your value is, you hold a standard up to those in your life to honor that value, no matter how high or low.
If you know someone is not with someone they deserve, help them see their worth. Just because someone is bruised doesn't mean they are "bad", they just need a little healing so they can be the healthy partner someone else deserves.
How will you help yourself or another heal?
Written by: Tiffany W.
Yeaaaa its Friday! Some of you are sooo relieved. I understand. The truth is a lot of people don't care for their jobs or the people they work with , but what if you saw everyday ad Friday? The opportunity to live a legacy and memory filled life everyday! See I love every day but look to the weekend to be able to do things and create memories with other loved ones in my life.
Experiences are invaluable. Rack those up. Love can make you feel like treasure, fill yourself up and surround yourself with it.
To some, it's about chasing material things. They work hard for really nice cars, home , clothes, jewelry, etc. None of which are bad, but things can always be destroyed or taken away!
Memories and experiences are priceless and stay with you forever unless you develop a degenerative memory condition.
I used to "want" a lot, until I really connected to how important the feeling of love, joy and support were to me. Besides the convertable Jaguar I've wanted and declared in my life since I was 8, I rather pay for travel, adventures, and good shoes to walk in from time to time. When you die you take nothing. Sure you can leave much behind for your loved ones or charities, but isn't it great to also leave behind the memories of who you were to people? to humanity? How did you show love and support to others? How did you live your best life unknowingly impact others to do the same?
Live!!! Learn to really live. Bills will be there. Responsibilities will be there. The material things you want will never go away because advertising and marketing only gets better and better. Today, this weekend and everyday create simple moments of joy and pleasure alone and with others. Rack up those moments and you will feel more satisfaction than any "thing" can grant you.
Written by: Tiffany W.
I am gratefully ecstatic to announce the release of my first and NEW book, BE Love: Daily Intentions Guiding You to Self Love ! Self Love is a topic that I believe touches just about every area of our lives, and I am humbled to be able to sit down and express what I believe are some powerful insights and practices that increase or confirm your understanding of self love. Conversations about mindfulness and personal growth seem to be more prevalent nowadays, and I believe the more we can reflect about, accept and transform who we are, the more powerful our lives can be.
How often do you exercise? How many high calorie/sodium/sugar meals do you eat a week? How many nights do you stay up late watching netflix or mindless TV? What poisonous people are still around you? What grudge have you been holding on to? What "hurt" can you not seem to get away from? Why do you hurt other's feelings so often? Why are your feelings hurt so often? Why are you in a relationship you know you shouldn't be in?
I could ask a thousand questions that all lead back to one root, self love. This book is definitely a love child of reflection, conversations, observations, spiritual guidance and personal knowledge. Wouldn't you agree that growing feels good? Don't you agree that it's an amazing feeling when a situation comes up in your life, and you realize that how you currently respond is different from how you would have responded some months or even years ago?
Sometimes you "feel" stuck, and I think that's a sign from your soul that you need an awakening! You need some changes, and finding seeds to plant in you that provide empowerment for new life is beyond essential. Every month I personally read a new book, and this month I'm passing on a guide of improvement for you!
If you pre-order by next Friday, you will get a special message from me! I'm excited to know, what does self love look like now for you? and what do you think it can look like if you payed attention to yourself a little more?
Written by: Tiffany W.
Dear Ladies in Your 20's,
I know you are dealing with so much on your plates, and sometimes you really wonder about what your future will be and if you will ever have the family or life you really want. Many of you are having major identity crisis. You don't know whether to rely on your millennial focused magazine to tell you about the hottest trends, how to get abs in 7 days, what low calorie snacks to eat, and how to be sexier; or to believe everything you see about all the seemingly happy friends, associates, whatever folks and celebrities on blogs and social media. You have to deal with the complexities of dating because of social media, dating apps and the gazillion dating websites interrupting our natural flow of meeting others. If you live in a big city, it either seems that the good ones are taken, you can't find them, or you realize you're so broken, all you do is attract other broken partners. Even though you know this isn't the 40's and you don't have to have a life centered around family, sometimes the friends, outings, travel, and Ms. Independent lifestyle leave you kind of longing for simpler times.
Most of you imagine by 21 that you would be married by 30. Some of you reading this, may already be married. If not, you sometimes realize that you are knocking at 30's door, and you're feeling like, "what if it never happens for me." The summer just ended and I'm sure you had to see at least 1 new engagement, wedding, pregnancy announcement, or birth per month if not week. I know you felt happy, but sometimes envious because you thought, when is my special someone going to be here?
Guess what, it's ok, the world is not over, and 30 is still young and tender compared to the normal life expectancy rate nowadays. If your not putting the pressure on yourself, then I'm sure you are starting to get the questions from your older family members about when you're getting married and popping out babies. Before you get irritated or offended by them questioning you, quietly analyze all the marriages in your family; that'll make you feel better. Hey guess what, it's ok.
Please release and ignore pressure to get married
B. As soon as you finish your education
C. By 30
There's no need to rob yourself of appreciating the present because of your obsession with the future. Do you think its better to be in a state of desperation and make such life altering decisions? or to be secured in life, and welcoming that flow of transition in to your life?
Let me have some truth moments with you.
Take necessary time to learn and love your self. Don't fret about those around you starting families. Everyone's journey is different. Ask anyone older than you. Refer to a Development Psychology book. Your 20's is truly a time of exploration. You are learning about yourself, and starting to see the world from a new perspective. By your late 20's you are either really starting to transition in your career, or repairing the damage done in your early 20's. Because the US has such a high number of College educated women, more than likely you are in, just finished, or may be thinking about pursuing higher education. Have you been able to travel yet? Are you comfortable going out alone? Do you feel empty without a partner? Have you worked on healing wounds most likely caused by your parents, closest friends and past lovers? Guess what, you have some work to do.
See the tradition has been that overly-eager, dress-ring-lifestyle obsessed, "I-want-to-have-the-family-I never-had," "we've-been-together-so-long-it's time", "I-believe-in-tradition" younger women get married to "men" who kind of have a clue about life. These men and these women, live, love and learn for so long, then they often get to a point in which they are unhappy, unfulfilled, in need of extra stimulation, and in search for something more. They begin to search for what they should have been searching for while single in their 20's but they handed it over for an ideal that seem all to ideal. They often become broken unhappy and undeveloped parents who don't properly nurture their children who grow up to be broken, insecure, and undeveloped adults, looking for love to cure their life. Then we have another generation of high divorce rates and unhappy people.
Truth be told, anyone can get married, but not everyone stays married. Most couples who get married in their 20's are divorced by 45 merely because of internal transformations. They change, and 50% of them get divorced. The other half, stay together, but not always happily.
Guess what lady, we are more than that. It's 2014 and more than ever, a culture of mindfulness, wellness, and optimal living is around us. Take advantage of that and become a woman of higher mind, body and spirit, so that by the time you do have an opportunity to wed, you will be a Whole BEing connecting with another Whole BEing.
This is not to say marriage is not good, nor that people who do get married in their 20's will definitely break up, but I just want you to know that you are ok. You are not losing out on life because you are not married. Right now you have 100% of you and when you get married, you will have to give 50% of that up. Fall in love with yourself and life and all things will come accordingly. If in actuality you are ready, be the person you want to attract. think carefully about the enriching qualities your partner will have. Live a life full of light.
A Realistic Romantic Millennial
This previous weekend I ran my first 10K and it meant so much to me in so many ways. I always find so many life lessons in nature and in fitness. For me, this 10K gave me some new lessons and I was pleasantly content with the outcome.
I have been a long distance runner all my life. When I was younger, I ran cross country and participated in the Junior Olympics when I was 9. There are 2 distinct memories I will never forget. How I felt after my very first practice, and how I was encourage to push as hard as possible that last half a mile of my Olympic race. Even until this day, when I feel tired while running, I make sure I push myself as hard as possible in the end. I realize that in life, there will be certain points in which you'll have more strength than others, but altogether, it's a mental thing, so you have to push.
See running is so synonymous with life to me because it's an individual sport. Team sports teach the importance of human interaction and working with others. Running teaches you about life and yourself.
I registered for my race back in July via a discount site and was excited because I put a 10K down on my vision board for the year. I just knew it would be simple because in the PAST I was used to running 5-10 miles very often. Well that's where the problem first lied. I was caught up in the past. No matter what your past is, it's not your present. Even though your past shapes or influences you, it does not define the entirety of who you are at this very. Yes, simply I've always ran long distance, so I consider myself a long distance runner, but I learned I was not the same runner I once was.
I did not prepare for this race as I could have because I was reliant on "my past". I kept saying, pshht that's going to be easy, and I didn't start conditioning until September. I'd been doing more high intensity interval training and plyometrics but hadn't done cardio in about 2months and boy o boy was I in for shock. The first time I ran, I could barely do 2 miles. It reminded me of that first practice when I was a child. Now, for some 2 miles is a challenge, but I was operating from a past perspective, in which 2miles used to be a warm up. My fastest mile last year was 5.7 minutes and my fastest 10K was 48 minutes. Even after that 1st run, I said to myself, no problem, I'll be fine after the first week. smh. I ran for 2-3 days per week after that. Never getting back to the point I used to be and learned that I had to be OK with that unless I was going to do more and train harder.
Fast forward, the day of the race, I was excited but boy was it difficult. Before the race I said that I shouldnt take more than an hour. I actually finished right at 1 hour and stopped for 4 mins because I was really hydrated. I was 26 out of 70 runners in my age division. While running, I remember seeing racers in their 60s-70s and I was so happy to see them out, but thought, come on Tiffany.
Sometimes I would catch myself looking at other people and would say, come on, you can beat her or him. You got this. Then my spiritual self would realize that was my ego and I would re center and literally say, " run your own race. BE proud of the presence and preparation others took. Stay focused on you." When I would get tired I'd speak declaration and affirm , " I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me" or "I will finish." This self talk process literally happened from start to finish. When I saw that 5mi mark, I pushed. I pushed so hard just like I did during my Junior Olympic race and when I crossed the finish line and saw my 1 hour time, I just said, thank you Lord and I'm proud of YOU Tiffany!
In the past, I would've beat myself up all day for stopping and finishing at 1 hour. In the past I would've been thinking more about what the other runners were doing as opposed to focusing on my breathe, how I felt, and the task at hand. In the past I would've put this first and trained much harder but this was not the past.
I learned to embrace my journey no matter what. Releasing any judgment of it being right or wrong, good or bad. I took responsibility for what I did and what I could have done better. In the end, I learned it's about my race. What I do along the way matters. The self love, acceptance and affirmation matters. Encouraging others while I struggle matters. Giving honor to the journey of others matters. Not judging others based on my understanding of the world, matters. BEING so secure in myself, my race, and my efforts, matters.
If you want more in life, you have to do more, sacrifice more, and believe bigger. What ever it is you do want or want to be, go after it. Some say go big or don't do it but I believe that just doing something is an accomplishment. You might not always be number 1, the greatest, the fastest , or the strongest in that competition, but you have to be enough for yourself. No matter what you do, it's more than the nothing another is doing, and it just may empower another to do a little something. So run your own race. Collect your own medals. Indulge in your own victory because life is not a sprint, it's a marathon, and as long as you finish with purpose, tenacity and love, you win!
Written by: Tiffany W.
Happy Monday BEautiful BEings!
Its' a new day, a new week, and a renewed you! Speaking of " YOU," do you know who you are? Not the roles you play like sibling, offspring, leader, parent, or friend or even your status as Award winning X or Best Y. Do you know who YOU are? The essence of you?
We can define ourselves in any way we choose, upon each moment. Each day you gather new information, have new conversations, and have new experiences. All that we are is made up of every gene, bodily crevice, experience, thought, action, and decision made up until that point of consciousness. The beauty in it all is that we can accept the fabric of our BEings no matter how it looks because we are walking masterpieces. Yes we because that includes you and I. That includes those you love and those you don't care for but will learn to love. That includes your boss, your subordinate, every class mate, every neighbor; every person no matter sex, culture, religion, ethnicity, or nationality.
We are all masterpieces and we begin each day in that mindset, we can move throughout the day and week confidently, unapologetically and strong in all that we are. You may not feel your best, but you are your best for right now. You may not be where you want to be, but you're perfectly positioned for what you want. You may not have all that you want, but you can be graciously content. When you begin your week and days spiritually, mentally and emotionally secure in who you are, you are more pleasant, productive and proudly joyful. No one or task can break you down.
That coworker, that angry driver, the rude person on the bus or train, your boss, your client, nor that family member can shake you from your foundation. Thank God It's Monday and you can begin a powerful week with a strong sense of self. If your "self" seems like someone you don't know, that's even greater! For you, this will be a week of exploration! Just simply connect to all that has made you, both the positive and constructive! Self Love begins with acceptance. Honor who who you are and how you feel, and go through today and this week being secure in those 2 states!
So who will BE today??
Written by: Tiffany W.
Hurt happens. Pain happens. Disappointment and failed expectations may occur (of course those are self imposed). Some one or some people will talk about you behind your back, on the side of you, or so blatantly loud in front of you, they might as well start a personal convo with you. You will be betrayed. You will be lied on or falsely accused. You may be cheated on. You may be fired. You will experience loss:of loved ones, of possessions, of friends, and of lovers.
This will happen, and if you're secure in yourself, and optimistic about life, you will keep living and keep thriving. Unfortunately, many people live life grudgingly holding on to the negative experience they had with people or situations. Even though they know that life is fair, and you fairly experience examples from above, they still grow in anger. Some people become so engulfed in the seemingly atrocities of their life, that they want to publicly shame and blame others. Well I have some thoughts on that.
Don't blame anyone about anything because what's done is done. Even if you've been shot or robbed, it happened, and to a degree you can try to obtain justice, but the true justice that rules over the life of someone who has caused pain in your life will come without your intervention. I believe everyone reaps what they sow, and it's for sure that if I try to step in and control what someone else reaps, I'll be reaping some not so pretty fruits myself. Nowadays people like to use social media to humiliate others or vent about the people and ways that negatively impact their lives the most.
In the past month or so we've seen people go to the extent of leaking nude photos of celebs and snap chat media of teenagers. Twitter and Facebook are abound with screen shots of inappropriate conversations and pics of people's exes doing them dirty. Every now and again I see (usually a female) venting about someone in their life doing them wrong. One of the worst, is when people think they're posting a "general" status' because they didn't mention a name, but the energy of the status emits pure passive aggressiveness.
The point of it all, learn to manage your emotions and thoughts healthily and in private. Unless you are putting out a "caution" message for someone who intentionally spreads and std, or has the tendency to abuse others in some way, avoid taking justice in your own hands. Because we all have energy that can be transferred. When you speak and promote negativity, you are literally spreading that energy. Instead of diffusing your hurt or anger in a way that will help you grow and transform, you will unintentionally ignite the same emotions in another. In addition, you begin to sow seeds that might lead to more unpleasant circumstances in your own future.
I Know that it can feel good to tell others what someone has "done to you." It satisfies your ego because you get to elevate yourself and diminish another. You get to get revenge by shaming them and secretly hoping your audience can build up an emotional wall against or mental block of the individual. I get it, I've been there, but you also must remember that the energy you decide to hold on to, and emit, will impact your health, your ability to love, and even your mental clarity. Learning to forgive another is essential. We can all be unforgivable, and you are not perfect, so you must learn to let go. It may be difficult, but learn to heal by reflecting on the lessons you learned, and how you can become a stronger, wiser and more discerning individual because of your circumstance. Use your lesson to help another heal, constructively.
Life is too beautiful to harbor on to and promote the negativity in your life. Don't block your own opportunities of abundance and joy because of another's actions. That person will receive whatever lessons of humility God and the Universe want them to experience. It takes a lot more courage and discipline to practice acceotance in the midst of hurt. In self love, if you can accept the imperfections in you, you can accept the imperfections of another. You are on an intentional journey of transformation and love, you must act like it. You don't embody peace when it's convenient. It's more important to embody peace when you have situations in your life that can normally rob it from you. Knowing and learning to keep going despite hurt is an act of strength. The more you build that muscle, the stronger it becomes. The muscle of forgiveness. it may take time, but it will be worth it.
Lastly, social media is forever. It is the ultimate technological footprint. Use it responsibly. Learn and let go.
Written by: Tiffany W.