Do you ever sit and reflect on your fears? Not just fears of objects like spiders or experiences like being too high, but the fears that end up being impediments in your life?
I'm saying fears of commitment, success, failure, betrayal, disappointment, loneliness, poverty etc. Reflecting and owning those type of fears is something serious. Those emotionally driven types of fears drive us in the opposite direction of a path that many times leads to bliss.
Even though in previous years I've pursued life trying not to let fear get the best of me, something about this year, has me keeping my fears in check and in the forefront of my mind. Let me tell you, when you're real with your self about how debilitating those fears can be, or even how much more life you can live, if you just walk through those fears, you will be moved. I journal often, for two reasons. Journaling is cathartic for me and is a form of therapy and self care. Secondly, when I'm in reflection mode, it allows a snapshot of my mental or emotional state, and I can check in on how I was in a moment and come to terms with whether I've been growing or still remain in that state.
What I've learned is, unless you are constantly taking those fears head on, they will remain tucked away in your psyche. The longer those fears remain, the more times opportunities and lessons will present themselves so that you can overcome those specific fears.
Facing fears is totally an act of self love. With a fear present, you have the opportunity to honor your spirit by acknowledging your discomfort and the presence of whatever you are holding on to. You honor your self and your right to a life of freedom by moving through and beyond that fear to unlock something that would seem unattainable because of the fear.
If you have a fear of rejection, then applying for a dream job or approaching a romantic interest is absolutely something you don't want to do. Yet, the process of even acknowledging the fear as well as the root of its source, is powerful. When something is known and in the light, its power is not as strong than if it is hidden and unknown. The next step is to say to your self, even though I'm afraid of rejection, I'm not going to let that fear keep me from the possibilities of this life. So you apply for the job and you make your advancement to the crush! Regardless of the outcome, you have walked through fear, and allowed yourself to be open to the possibilities.
Every outcome is 50/50. Things will pan out how you want or not. You'll get the job or not. The relationship will work out or not. Tomorrow will come for you, or it won't. Fear gives us this false idea of control; that if we avoid the circumstance that elicits fear, we will be safe or we will not have to face the very thing we fear, but we know that's not truth. The very thing we fear will actually present itself more than we'd like it to, and instead of living from a place where we let a fear rule us, why not choose free will?
I recently did an amazing exercise where I had to reflect on what I would like my ideal life to look like. Once I visualize the awesomeness of my future, I had to be honest and name all the reasons I wasn't there, and what did I needed to let go of, in order to progress towards that life. I've recognized some major shifts in me, and I'm so grateful.
I believe anytime you own your truths, you unlock another door of freedom. You get to acknowledge your imperfections, while also expressing accountability, as well as steps that you will help you get to where you truly desire to be.
It may be helpful to not only think about your fears, but write them down, and maybe even verbally express them. Express them to a loved one you trust or record a video to yourself. Not only expressing the fears, but also acknowledging where they came from, how they have impacted your choices, and that it's time to let them go so you can live the life you really want.
It's a process but I'm telling you it will work! We all have areas of ourselves we're confident and insecure about, and its totally ok, but again, why let your mind keep you imprisoned? We owe it to ourselves and the world to at least attempt to live our best lives! It's not about not having fears, its just about not giving them power over your life!
Patience seems like a rare commodity nowadays. We live in a time of instant gratification. There's endless options for fast food, frozen meals, and quick cook recipes. People can get a little moody if they text you and don't receive a reply within 5 minutes. We even have multiple technologies all within access of our phones: a phone, internet capability, tv, device for movies, calculator, camera, and perdometer. There's tons of motivational gurus who drill the idea of grinding and making a certain amount of money within x amount of time. Oh and of course all the options to obtain a dream body without the lengthy dedication of living a healthy active lifestyle.
Quick and easy is the expectation, but what happens when reality shows you that nothing is actually obtained quickly? Everything sustainable, takes time to build. Relationships, careers, business, and wealth profiles.
A major issue that I see, even with myself, is getting so caught up in the length of time it takes for a desire to come to pass, when practicing patience and openness could leave you to amazing pathways along the journey.
When we're too obsessed with dealines and timelines, we tend to look at ourself and judge oir worth, sensibilities, and abilities to accomplish/obtain something. We become hard on ourself and sometimes the world around us when our desires dont come to pass as fast. We also develop the tendency to compare our lives to someone else's.
None of that frustration is fair nor necessary. I'm currently reading the book Mastery by Robert Greene, and it's so amazing to read about greay men and women whove made major impacts on our culture and world because of their discoveries, inventions, businesses and talents across many fields. One of the most fascinating lessons that I'm continuously learning is that what you want to have and give, takes time.
Its rare that youll become an overnight success. Its rare that youll snap your finger and get the partner, animal, child, home, car or even job you want right away. Time naturally prepares you and while you are going thru any stages, make sure you honor your self and your progress every step of the way.
Let's remember that we can have visions, desires, dreams and goals, but our abilities or inabilities to usher them in our within a specidic time frame does not define us. It doesn't make us better or worse people. There's a lot that can be learned from patience. In patience we get to grow, experience life, and observe the world around us. In patience, we get to become more understanding and acceptance. In patience, we learn to be gentle with ourselves and how are lives unfolds.