One notion I've learned to understand on my spiritual journey is that when you get so into yourself as "master of everything", you will experience humbling situations from henceforth faith replaces your need to control life. Every spiritual being has their time. Life happens. In and out of your control. You are responsible for what you do at every moment, but so is everyone else, and the greater force that connects us allows life to play out.
The higher level of consciousness one enters, the more you realize the world does not revolve around you. You are not the world, therefore all that you want, is not reflective of the natural order of life. Life is not about getting what you want. It's not about becoming what you want. It's about an experience of BEing; an experience of exchange, and experience of fulfilling purpose. Every living organism has a purpose on Earth.
When we are more connected to our need to control what exists, and what may occur, we ignore the greater picture of life, and tend to have weak emotional and spiritual capabilities; we cut off our ability to thrive on every level of our being. Consider yourself and anyone, who's greatest goal was financial success. Typically once attained, they feel empty or lost. When you want a position, or material item so much, you receive it, and still feel "unfulfilled". Or attaining any type of status, you may lack the presence of love from a partner, family or friends, and feel empty. When you focus on controlling life for your mere pleasure and desires, you find out, "something" will be missing." Once you lose a person, place or thing, your world will turn upside down. Life will not always go as you plan, which is a clear indication that your control is limited.
Here enters faith. It is no secret that there are forces that cannot be explained by science. Doings that occur way outside our realm of control, and they typically involve the variants of faith, hope and belief. Peace comes when you can exists in the flow of life. When you know that you can give, and give up power simultaneously. To exist in a flow means to live in minimal resistance to life. Don't beat yourself up; don't anger quickly; don't sulk in regret, repression, and resistance. Give what you can, whether it's your best or a little. The more you give in life, the more you will receive, but at every moment, it will look differently. Learn to put forth what you can, and learn to just BE! Occupying your mind with ideas of control, takes away the mystery of life. Have faith, no matter what, choose to slow your roll, and Just BE!
BE Faith Filled~
Written By: Tiffany W.
Control. A fine concept that allows us to reflect strength and resilience, or helplessness and stagnancy. It's a concept that some will feel they understand perfectly and others not so much. one of the most interesting understandings of control, is that your sense of it is fluid. It can change depending on age, and life circumstance. In general from childhood to our teenage years we are very clear on our ability to control adults, peers, and what we want. The concept of no and rejection often seems foreign, and even if we receive such notice, our superhuman mentality looks right past it. So much so, most of us have inflated ego's into our 20's or until we have a major experience that forces us to look at control differently.
For so long, I felt I had everything down. I was a hard working, detailed oriented, extremely analytical and organized individual, who knew what I wanted, and never considered the possibility of not getting what i wanted. Such thought processes kept me busy and excelling as a scholar, and leader in my respective community. If you looked at my planner, it was laid out each day from waking up, to showers, to eating, to sleep time. I was dedicated to my life like clockwork, and I never considered how life would be different. I was always busy, and always stepping up to be in control, and take the lead in something. Then I had a close friend at the time say, "Tiffany, let go. stop trying to control everything in your life; do something off schedule. I can't believe you schedule your bubble baths. step out your routine." That conversation changed my life, and every since then I've been trying to find my balance.
My sense of control made my sense of adulthood come really early, and by 22, I was somewhat burned out. I honestly wanted to experience life not being obsessed with controlling everything, and learn to just ease up. The result was not always what I expected because when you take "yourself" out of something, you learn to feel. You learn to be present. you learn to be mindful, and you really learn about yourself, the world, and people on a whole other level. When you experience the world with this sense of consciousness, and life throws you curve balls or you tend to make decisions that turn in to lessons, it can get easy to blame, guilt, and attack yourself. I can say 5 years later, I am back to where I started. To be resilient isn't to just keep going without feeling, or processing, but its to understand that yes, we do have SOME control over our lives; and whatever happens, we are not those events...those events are consequences of a series of actions...but they do not define us.
One who commits a crime is not a criminal...they are a BEing that committed a crime. One who loses a job is not a failure, they merely lost an opportunity and can be opening of another. If you lose your home or spouse, it may be very difficult, but those losses do not define you.
The difference in my understanding of control, is absolutely reflected in this quote. I allowed my attachment to the control of people, things and situations define who I was or was not. Life isn't always that simple,a nd when you become more mindful of "why" you do everything, its easy to over think, over judge, and over attribute. Know that you are multifasceted. You are powerful. There are aspects of life you will be able to impact and others that you have no control over. When you live thru purpose, vision, and love, manifestations of life don;t always reflect what you think they should in your mind. Set goals, plan, stay focused, stay consistent, and belive, but know that even with such systems...things happen, and that's ok. Sometimes you won't set goals, plan, stay focused, stay consistent or even believe, and g
There is value in history. There is emotion in history. There are lessons in history. So from now on, I'm going to participate in my own version of Throwback Thursday. Honoring events, people, movies, music of the past that in someway or another represents the BE! core value: Self Love.
Today's feature is none other than Lady Day herself, Billie Holliday. Billie Holiday is one of the most pivotal icons in music, blues and jazz. She had an iconic voice, and graceful stage presence, always known for wearing a fresh Gardenia in her hair and was popular between the 1930's-1950's.
Billie had her challenges, as we all do, but she resonated a strength that could only come from pain and heartache. Her songs celebrated the ups & downs of love and life. She was the epitome of the Blues. In life, there's no such thing as perfection. Challenges will arise, as well as sadness, but the greatest strength is to find a reason to celebrate life, love yourself despite the imperfections, do you and BE you. When I was young, I was obsessed with her famous song, "Ain't Nobody's Business." Which is basically an ode to her living her own life, not giving 2 cents about your opinion. Whether she gave all her man her money, he beat her, she went out Saturday and to church on Sunday, her life was her prerogative. Now of course, some of the message isn't the most healthy or fully reflective a total love of one's mind, body and spirit, but the level of tenacity of understanding, accepting, and being satisfied to a certain degree with your own life decisions, is a major lesson that many of us attempt to understand. Amongst her many popular songs was also her rendition of the poem, Strange Fruit, and emotional piece of work about the lynching of a man. The soul that emanates from her voice, is nothing short of powerful. When anyone gives of themselves, to impact others, that is Love. There is no greater manifestation of love than the gifts you give to others. As many creative spirits, it was easier for the Lady to shine her heart thru her art as opposed to seeing the light in her life. She unfortunately took her own life, but her legacy and message to Love you and your life no matter what others think, is a powerful message that will never go out of style! We love you Lady Day!
Written By:Tiffany W.
We are a culture obsessed with more, bigger, better, shinier, faster, wealthier. The natural idea of abundance and possibilities is a blessing because it provides a force for us to drive ourselves past our limits, but at what cost? Everything comes at a cost, and there will always be a trade off. If you're a person that takes YOLO to the extreme, you may never save, have little or no future financial security, end up with criminal charges, maybe have some hospital visits, and even end up with a baby or 2. If that sounds you or someone you know...NO JUDGEMENT. If you are a legacy building or career obsessed being, you may have really lackluster or non existent romantic and personal relationships, high stress, low immunity to sickness at the worst times, and unhealthy sleeping or eating patterns. If this is you or someone you know, NO JUDGEMENT.
The power of our existence as opposed to the mere cycle of nature for other species, is that we have advance abilities in choice, emotion and critical thinking. All three of these abilities serve and can ruin us, but for the most part, we can control that. Sometimes people want a lot, and want to do a lot. With such expectations, if they fail to meet them, there are cycles of guilt and shame that occur, but it's not necessary. Making a list of goals, dreams, bucket activities and anything else we can check off to assuage our ego, is absolutely beneficial, works, and will definitely help guide you through life. The flipside is that we can not completely control everything and all matters of time, therefore circumstances are bound to happen, we will have not so productive days, and we will have times where those goals don't seem as much a priority. The great thing to know is that your accomplishments and abilities are an extension of you, but they are not you. You are Enough as you are, in any moment. If you are like me, this is a very hard concept to grasp sometimes. Sometimes we want to be everything for everyone; sometimes we want to be as perfect as possible, do as great as possible, do the most as possible and be the best as possible, but the truth is there will always be more, someone better, greater, more powerful...but not you. In truth, nothing you will do will ever be enough because there always more that can be done, but sitting in the truth that you can do your best, whatever your best is, or whatever you want it to be, allows you to step back and know...it's ok. I'm ok. everything will be ok. This is enough because I say so. I am enough because I say so.
Written By: Tiffany W.
Today's post is inspired by speaker, author and spiritual teacher Joyce Meyer. Feel free to click and watch!
"Consumer Reports has ranked the best-tasting burgers, sandwiches, burritos, and chicken at 65 national and regional fast food chains." Hayley,P. (2014, July 2) http://www.businessinsider.com/best-fast-food-chains-ranked-2014-7#ixzz36KO9Rx1W
The unfortunate matter is that there is a ranking for fast food, but the upside is that the public is now being drawn to "healthier" and "fresher" options. The likes of McDonalds. Burger King, taco Bell, KFC, and even Subway are all ranked extremely low, if not last on each respective list. Smaller chains known for healthier or cleaner cooking options such as The Habit, In & Out, Chipotle and EL Pollo Loco are all at the top of their respective lists. I find this to be a positive sign that with all the fast food industry expose style documentaries, in addition to increase propaganda around obesity and cardiovascular illnesses, the public considers the fact that you can choose between the evils of fast food. In healthy living, I believe in moderation according to one's goals. Interestingly enough, if ever I do eat fast food it usually is In & Out (protein style burger), EL Pollo Loco (chicken and salad/mixed veggies) or Chipotle (salad bowl) because they do have healthier options.
These trends go to show you that the customer is more powerful than believed. If everyone stopped going to the classic chains, they would completely have to re-establish their brand, menu, and efforts to create fresher & healthier options. I'm aware that McDonald's has added "healthier" options like apples and dip to the happy meals, parfaits, wraps and more, but the problem is that the ingredients and chemical they use are still compromising. As a nation, we cannot continue to let ourselves and our children continue with such obesity rates and preventable health conditions. An even greater trend to emerge, would be the overall decrease in fast food chain profits, even the healthier ones. All together, fast food spending is at its highest! We spend $680 Billion on average on this food causing long term hormonal deficiencies and influxes in our children, chronic preventable illnesses, absurd obesity rates, and small effects such as fatigue, low energy and poor concentration. I think a fun and creative way to taste your favorite items at home is to try and duplicate your favorite dish. It will never taste completely the same, but it will save your waist, your insides, your money, and your life.
Here are some tips!
1) I am a huge promoter of pre-planned meals and handy healthy snacks on the road. This prevents individuals from having to buy out because of "time" or being burned out from a long day at work.
2) When meal prep doesn't happen, and people feel forced to eat out, then picking the healthiest items you can are ALWAYS going to be more beneficial for you
3) Once you get your meals, don't feel like you have to eat the whole portion. Sometimes its ok to eat half and make sure to drink a lot of water.
4) Especially on the days you have an unhealthy meal, follow it up with LOTS OF DARK LEAFY GREENS. Green vegetables like spinach, kale, broccoli, or asparagus, will help cleanse the toxins you put in your body. The more, the better!
Remember, you're stomach isn't a garbage can, so don't fill it with such. If you wouldn't sit and let someone kill or poison you, don;t take the necessary action, to do it to yourself. Learn to eat, live and be well because you will just feel so much better about yourself and life!
Written by: Tiffany W
One of the major challenges for people in romantic relationships is reflecting the love they expect from another. Far too often, this begins even before a relationship begins. For example, I hear women say they want men with incomparable amounts of wealth, fancy homes, cars and travelling privileges and they themselves may have poor credit, no home, a very basic car, and can barely afford a passport. Now there's nothing wrong with whatever a woman may or may not have, but the point is there is often an unequal distribution of expectation towards someone to give you what you may not be able to give them...not even a fraction.
Now we get to love. We have to consider our ability to love others as a tank. We can only give what we have. We only have the capacity to really love another because of the love we can have for ourselves and others. It's not always just about what we expect, its' about what we give. I know many friends that will cheat on their partner, but feel disrespected if they did that to them; or who are very selfish with money, but want their mates to give them the world; or who verbally disrespect their partners, and will walk away as soon as it happens to them. We are far from the days where a majority of women will stay in a relationship that they will be trapped or abused in. Now this is in no way to negate the fact that every 9 seconds a woman in the US is assaulted or beaten or that in the US, more than 3 women per day are murdered by their significant others, and that domestic violence is a rapid and pervasive social issue still alive and well. Yet, in the average relationship that may not be marked by severe inter partner violence, people don't feel the need to just exhaust all possible time in a relationship; they are most likely to leave when they are fed up, as reflected in our divorce rates.
To Mr. Thicke's case, whatever occurred between the two, encouraged Paula to step back from the relationship.If you missed it, Sunday night, he performed a new single targeted towards his estranged wife . Only those two know, but from his songs he suggests, he didn't treat her right. In what some would call a purely romantic gesture, Robin has began a campaign highlighting his recent separation tragedy (which he's financially profiting from) of singing songs celebrating Paula, and posing the case of why she should take him back. His words are so focused on constantly acknowledging how he was wrong, and how he wish he could go back to happier times, I wonder, has Robin explored the root of his behavior? Has he explored the root of his spiritual and mental state that triggered his actions because that's where the catalyst lives. Apologies are beautiful but change comes from a mental and spiritual place. How you treat someone comes from an interaction between the ego and your sense of self love. If that love tank is not filled up, and you don't see how others should be loved just as you want to be loved, apologies only go so far. Learn to love yourself, so that you may learn to love others. Think about people in your life who you may wish bad on. Think about when you downplay or express consistent discontent in the choices another make. Think about hurt, pain, jealousies, or anger you are harboring against another, whether you do or do not interact with them. Do you look at others and secretly repulsively judge their appearance? If someone breaks their word, do you cut them out your life for good? These are occurrences that we all share, or have experienced, whether 1 or all. This is why mindfulness is important and a love walk is a life journey. We must release expectations that we have for others because we often fall short in one way or another. The point: Give Love, and you will receive it; and if you don't, take that relationship as a lesson of what to look for differently, or further examine your perceived value and worth.
Written by: Tiffany W.
See the video here: http://www.bet.com/video/betawards/2014/performances/video-playlist.html#!Robin-Thicke-Makes-Another-Plea-For-Paula