Hmmmm what do the following words mean to you?
I'm not going to make this one of those "top 10 signs" post. I don’t know if I can tell you what the specific signs of a healed heart are because we are all different, but I know exactly what they are Not! The above. If these ill emotions exist in your space of Being you have a Broken heart. Broken by loss, a friend, family, or romantic partner. When I write, I write from my experience. Whole hearted and true. Sometimes the best way to know something “good” is to know first hand what the total opposite is. We truly can only know "better" when its comparative to our previous conditions. I can tell you what a healthy relationship is because I've experienced what its not. I can share my ideas of self love because I know what lack looks like. I can tell you what beneficial decisions look like, when I reap the benefits of them and the reflect differently than other choices I’ve made in life. I can tell you what Healing looks like because I have lived it, and am living it!
This morning I was speaking to a dear friend of mine who lost a parent, wants to move to be closer with her family so she can heal, and not feel so lost in life. She told me sometimes she doesn’t know if she can just bear this life. And not only did that sentiment totally resonate with me, but it made me think of a book I need to re-read as an adult, The UnBEarable Lightness of BEing. It’s a heavy book, and I have no idea why we read it in AP English because the themes are in general very spiritual and metaphysical, and way to heavy for some 16 year olds haha. Essentially the book explores how we live with so much resistance in life, trying to control it, & how we feel; judging ourselves, and situations, and we don’t know how to just BE… even though BEing is parallel to a floating like feeling, in which we can be in-tuned to the endless space within us, just BEing seems unbearable. Accepting death, loss, hurt, pain, disappointment feels unbearable but creating resistance and developing negative and maladaptive forms of coping, is what really makes life harder. It seems unbearable to just feel and grow thru the hell, and we try to absolutely avoid it; not accepting things for what they are, This notion totally connects to some new and revisited lessons I've experienced.
I shared a book with my friend (among others) I had recently completed that saved me, A New Earth by Ekhort Tolle. It saved me, whole heartedly. Since the ending of a major relationship, I've experienced all the above emotions, coupled with what seemed like a turmoil of other life challenges…all of course when judged in my head, are completely false. You know, the classic life is 10% what happens to you, 90% how you react. Yet, my old reaction style wouldn’t have necessary been physical or verbal, but very much emotionally and mentally intensive. Which means I could easily absorb guilt and all that which is above. The situation was a breaking point because I consciously began to explore my decisions, my thinking, and behavior, and boy it brought up things I've never faced. It became a whirlwind of ins and outs of love. Some days I could BE and give love, others, not so much. SO I became very aware of my healing process. But yesterday I experienced a great sign of healing, I was able to listen to John Legends album!!
Let me tell you why that’s important. When my wound was fresh (and kind of even before realness went down, me, a hopeless romantic, who loves love songs, shows, movies, and everything in between, didn’t want to voluntarily watch, listen or read anything that had to do with romance. 2 of my favorite movies, Eat Pray Love and The Princess & the Frog even got ignored for some months. My favorite indulgence of Say Yes to the Dress...ppshhht please. John Legend, who is one of my favorite artists, was completely ignored when he came out with his album. In the past, I'd wait impatiently, and get his albums m the first day it came out, and I didn’t even listen to it until yesterday It's been out since August 2013) . Now I cant stop listening to it! I’m not ready for love, but I’m not allergic to the notion of it.
When you heal, your heart and BEing is open to the goodness and beauty of life! When you are open to it, opportunities overflow, and life looks brighter. You are more patient, compassionate, understanding, kind, gentle, loving towards yourself and others. Your life truly becomes a reflection of the frequency you vibrate on. It takes time, but we can learn to accept and feel each moment and situation for what it is, while also working on ourselves to dig deep and reveal the truths behind the pain. Your life will never be what it could be, until you push yourself to be what you can be.
BE Love~BE Whole~BE You
Written By: Tiffany Wright
Whenever I'm deep within a life lesson, I always find value in sharing it because that's what these gifts of "aha moments" are all about right? My topic of focus, the ego.
Our ego is such an interesting character. It's responsible for all the thoughts of should be, shouldn't be, not possible, I cant, invincibility and anything beyond just accepting BEing. The extremes of comparison, whether upward or downward, and anything in between.
Often when entering into a conversation with others, we listen or exist in a space of them vs. me. We compare as to why something someone says is "bad" or "good" for them; we "feel sorry for" or really admire the other. Even at times, we may feel angry or are really moved. Whatever comes up, more often then not, we look at others as if we are so separate than them. The truth, as read, and realized more and more, is that we are truly mirrors of one another. We can not only just be respectful and nurturing during listening, but we can really learn about ourselves.
Actually listening to and connecting to what others say, can teach us a lot about ourselves. It can tell us a lot about our pride, insecurity, emotional wounds, desires, and truths that we dare not truly express or realize. When listening becomes something for you and them, awareness is born. Until recently, I've never been a good listener. I grew up around analytical and expressive people, therefore that became my reality and communication style. Aggressive, Ms. Know-It-All, let me 1 up you with a fact, it's fine what you say but how about this! Unintentionally I would cut off people (I still do, and am constantly working on it) not to be rude, but I'd do so out of excitement of wanting to be heard.
It got to a point, where people in my life got to a point where they'd say, Tiffany, "You're not listening to me!" or "will you let me finish!" Haha...ok. Point taken. As I started to listen more, I realized I could learn a lot about myself. Listening to them and being aware of my thoughts. I can be in tuned with my judgements, assumptions, fears, doubts, and so many other layers of my ego. I've began to really connect to what people say, and have not only learned about myself, but from an authentic place, give love to others, strengthen my conversations, and improve some relationships.
Our egos run wild when we filter information others share. Being aware can be the difference of getting in an argument, abruptly walking away, or even thinking about why so and so did or said something. Relationships, communication, and who we are as beings can really be impacted by our sense of awareness, and ability to just be constant learners. I credit and recommend two phenomenal books for this awareness, The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and Eckhort Tole's, A New Earth for breaking these barriers.
If you are on a journey to transform, I challenge you to pay attention to how you listen. When you listen to others, do you find yourself being aware of what thoughts and emotions come up? Do you ever ask yourself, hmm why did I react that way inside? Why did I have an opinion about that story? Where did that opinion or belief come from? Is there really a right, wrong, good or bad?
I will leave you with this.
"I am the Smokey Mirror, because I am looking at myself in all of you, but we don't recognize each other because of the smoke in-between us. That smoke is the Dream, and the mirror is you, the dreamer."
Written By: Tiffany Wright
Today my mediation was focused on expression. Similarly to a previous meditation, therefore this post will be 2 parts. This post will is influenced by the centering thought: My life energy expresses its truth!
Essentially we choose what we want to express and how we express ourselves. Both are a reflection of who we are. Think about it...do you or people you know constantly express fear, doubt, hate, animosity, judgement, or discouragement? Are you/ those people usually "happy"? Versus those who express joy, optimism, hope, love, etc. No matter what your truth is, you can shift. There's always room, power and permission to shift. Connect
to what makes you genuinely feel good (not that which brings about false temporary enjoyment such as material things or substances). For example, for me its dance, music, the arts, all around silliness, and really talking
about growth & transformation. Those experiences allow for flow and truth of expression that beam positivity.
When you find those things, use a platform to express yourself. Its selfishness, and the impeded truth of hurt and fear, that says "I'm not going to tell people my business". Choose to shine your light however you want. Today & everyday!Choose to express your highest, greates purist truth that will give light to the world! If there is love, joy, excitement, optimism, and the like within you, you must choose how to be in a flow of truth and express yourself. Whether thru the arts, cooking, working out or whatever, we shine to brightly expressing our transparent truths and unknowingly encouraging others to do the same!
For some reason, there is something about people succeeding that makes me really happy! It literally makes me smile, and I'm so thankful for them and their success!
Now I may sound a little different, but I find that when people are happy, they can be genuinely happier for others. Whereas when they are not satisfied in their own lives, there tends to be comparison, envy, or just nothingness, Don't get me wrong, I have definitely had times in my life where I wasn't necessarily happy for other's success, and it was more like...."hmmm that's good for you." Again, these were times when I can assure you, I was not very happy with my own life.
But to see people, especially people's whose journey I've personally followed, when I see them achieve their dreams, and goals, it takes me to another level. I not only feel happy for them, but it ignites something in myself.
There are really two common instances in my life as of recently in which this occurs: 1. Actors/Actresses I see in the beginning of their careers when no one notices them, and then years later they hit a big role, and I'm just like, "wow, I always knew they would be big." 2. Would absolutely be people in my Herbalife network. For people to get rewarded by helping other people get healthy, and change their financial future....wow, that's crazy. its crazy because its everyday people. People who didn't know what it meant to be recognized genuinely by others. people who never were around people who cheered them on, and really lifted them up, and push to help them meet their goals.
It's just so exhilarating. When we go thru challenges, and want to meet our own goals, life happens, we make excuses, we get in our own ways, or roadblocks come.
But when you see someone else win, it should be a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter what you go through, never stop until. You don;t fail, you just find a number of ways that don't work.
When you think of failure, I bet you don't think of Oprah, Bill Gates, R.H. Macy, Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Soichiro Honda, Henry Ford, Michael Jordan, or even Steven Spielberg. These are all people who experienced tremendous "failure" or rejection before making it big in whatever we know them for today! That's exhilarating! That brings me joy!!!! it's a reminder of consistency, walking in your purpose, belief and hard work. Embrace the success of others. Do not feel threatened, and don't also feel you must compare someone. Most importantly, don't put others on a peddle stool because they would tell you, we can all achieve greatness, it's just up to us to BElieve we deserve it and to go after it!
Well its May! A new month! Do many things that your June self will thank you for. Starting with gratitude, and sharing genuine love and joy for others. The more we put out in the world, the more that's returned back to us!
What goals will you set this Month? and how will you show love/support others who have achieved something great? Whether you know them personally or not, what goodness will pay forward?
Written by: Tiffany Wright