If you haven't heard the words Racism, Clippers & Sterling in the last 4 days, you either have been completely disconnected from social media, radio, or internet...or are completely just oblivious to major social events, either of which is okay, but I'm going to share a story. To give you a little context (and the words I speak to describe the man and situation are very intentional) the 70 year old, white, born in to wealth, owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, Donald Sterling, was featured on a leaked recording between himself and a Mexican/Black young women. The initial 15 minute recording was dialogue which focused on Sterling disapproving the young woman posting pictures on instagram and publicly appearing with Blacks. When she questions "why?" and accuses him of being racist, he repeatedly insist that he has no problem, hatred or dislike of Blacks, it's just the way world is, and will always be, and he wants no association because "others" will say something to him. He then ironically suggests that in private she can be with whomever, sleep with whomever, love whomever, she wants but just don't publicize it or bring them to games if they are Black.
Now while most of LA is feeling emotional about it, I don't. I think it's a multilayered lesson for social conflict, tolerance, empathy, and most importantly, self-love, There are Angelenos boycotting in front of the Staples Center as we speak, People "think" he should be ousted as an owner, that Blacks shouldn't attend games, that the players should refrain from playing, amongst other demonstrations,
Now for someone who has a background in social consciousness and community organizing, I am very well aware of the implications of oppression associated with this event, and there are some realities I can highlight, but that's not as important as emphasizing that despite all this, people should still operate from a place of love. Often times when the media shares negative information especially around ethnic differences, people are enraged, and re-connect to the us against them mentality.
There is only us! 1 group of people who come from different upbringings, have different experiences, and think differently. Choosing to promote what you love, instead of bashing what you hate is a big deal, Self love allows us to acknowledge the place in us that is imperfect, and likewise honor that in someone. The challenge is acceptance, but also understanding your value, and not allowing anyone to take advantage or dishonor you.
Sterling is a 80 year old white man who comes from, and remains in privilege. He comes from a different time, and developed a way of thinking in which he never wanted to challenge and evolve from. One who could empathize with the human experience can put his sense of reality in context and not condemn him as a person. Yet, there is a fine line between tolerance of a person's being versus challenging them to respect others to be tolerant. Therefore, actions taken to show Sterling that racism is opposing to the human experience of love, were symbolism of showing others how to love, honor, and respect others as much as you do yourself. In light of the controversy the NBA commissioner has recommended that Sterling be eternally banned from attending any NBA games, or entering in training facilities, in addition to being fined 2.5 million. Despite the act, it will probably not alter his mind or heart but it will make him think about how he feels about Blacks.
Nothing can change a person without their permission. One must want to transform, progress or expand their mind or hearts into operating on another level. The journey of a love walk takes time for most because at least in the US, our human experience is not about love; its about competition, individualism, conflict and comparison. The bigger piece is that the universe, God, whatever entity you believe returns thought or energy, will always give you back what you give. If you give love, you will receive love. If you live in, feed off of, or promote hate, corruption, or disunity, it will always come back to you. When you honor yourself, you can honor with others. If the world had more people that loved one another, ideas of conflict wouldn't have to persist and we could truly live in harmony.
Look at what things you don't like about yourself, your upbringing, your thinking, your habits, etc. And be honest in considering, how do those things pop up in your interactions with others, or even how you feel about others, We typically see in people the best and worst in ourselves, We are all mirrors.
Today I posted this meme because I said yesssss! This is so how I'm feeling, but then I realize, it's a complete
You cant keep calm and live life to the fullest. Life and Living isn't for calm, it represents energy, excitement, &fire ! Calm is overrated in a sense! There's the calm associated with the peace and serenity of the river, which is powerfully necessary to keep us in flow. Then there's the everyday calm which reeks normalcy, mediocrity, dissatisfaction, adulthood, seriousness, and responsibility. Now naturally, everyone isn't the turn up, jump up and down kind of person, but more times then not, people are, and they're just nervous to break out the shell of monotony. Too structured for spontaneity. There's a time and place for everything..but what about the time to live. To just let go, and BE the person your to calm to be.
This is not for the A-type who's been atype since 3! But the one who's looked at the excited jumpy loud people and secretly wished they were that. Or the one who wants to go on some adventures but are nervous and have no friends to go with!
When I turned 25, I went skydiving for my birthday. I told people for months I would go, even if it was by myself. I did and it was amazing. . All by myself! Yes I would've loved for a friend to go,but I love living, and as I've came to honor that I deserve amazing experiences no matter what, I've done a lot of amazing things by myself...and I'm totally ok with it.
Living for you may be asking a random guy on a date just because. Or running into the ocean with regular clothes on. Or even just speaking up for yourself for a change. Whatever it us. COMMIT to 3 things you will
do this week, that are the opposite of "calm"...share the challenge with your family and friends and take some pics while your at it.!
Written By: Tiffany Wright
The most interesting moments spark thought for me, and I think...hmmm is someone else thinking about this?? Today I watched Fresh Prince of Bel Air and it was an episode in which Will's long lost father came back to build a relationship with him. Wills dad stayed around for a couple of days, they enjoyed each others company and it was the first time Will called his dad, Dad. Will's dad promise to take him on a road trip, until he got an offer to do a truck route for a colleague, and ditched Will. When this happened Will turned to Uncle Phill to assure that he would be ok because his father never was around; he made an emotional pledge to continue living his life without his father and one day being a better father than he ever was, and ended by crying, " Why doesn't he want me."
At that moment, it occurred to me, that is a question many women ask themselves when a relationship doesn't work. The question is, why is questioning why you are not good enough the first thing that often comes to mind? Self Love. Its the root of the self love that most likely was secured or compromised because of the relationship with your father.
It is no secret that we model our relationships from our parental attachments (or lack thereof). In many cases, we've had a dramatic shift in the family structure, and across all ethnic groups, divorce is high, and father's are absence. When the figure representing male to female security and love are absence, there is no secured model in measuring worth, value, and treatment in a relationship. This is when young or older women must look to media or others for relationship models,
I recognize that many women I know, including myself, who've had absent fathers (even if the father was physically there, but emotionally absent) have the most challenges with heterosexual romantic relationships. In honor of growth, I think it's important to constantly reflect on our patterns of thoughts and behaviors, and explore how they began. Once you explore the roots, you must begin to come to terms with some uncomfortable truths, forgive some people, and shift. Create a new story; a new idea of love; a new measure of your worth. Shift from why doesn't he want me?, to we weren't compatible anymore, and I look forward to the man that will honor me. Desertion doesn't have to define your relationships. It;s not about having "daddy problems", its about understanding your own story, and powerfully choosing to fill in the gaps because I assure you, men and women who've experienced emotional absentee fathers, similarly experience gaps in having a completely secure romantic relationship. Learn your own story, and create a new one!
By: Tiffany Wright
I don't smoke, so I'm not referring to that type of high. I'm referring to that euphoric feeling of BEing! Operating through your BE!, Beatific Ecstasy!
How you feel and see the world is multilayered. Its Levels To This! Most people feel "okay" or "cool." No energy, no passion, no drive, no umph! The only time they get excited is for a reality show or when drinking. Not saying anything is wrong with that, but those are external vessels of temporary satisfaction. What if you decided to constantly connect to and stay aligned with the highest form of you?
We as BEings hold space for great strength and power . There is power in every emotion, thought, feeling and state. The pure experience would be to tap into the internal sense of awareness and stay in an elevated state of being, a feeling most experienced when you are doing things you enjoy! We not only increase the quality of our lives when we do things we enjoy, but we open up; we're happier, more enthusiastic, more excited, and therefore more authentic and free!
Think about the activities you do that make you feel above best. Those which make you feel like your highest self. You feel magical, light and airy. When you feel this way, your power and consciousness is expanded.
Think how its only in times of stress, unhealthy pressure, perceived deficit and struggle in which you feel trapped. YOU CAN'T JUST BE! Sometimes it takes intentional alone time to get in that special space, and thats' ok. Honor yourself, to tap into your highest state. It'll help maintain your sanity. The pressure of the grind, no sleep, party all l night, always giving, and any other self destructive mantras in our time, do not have to be your reality. You have to be aware of what keeps your spirit aligned with your higher self. Even though we are all stronger than we know, that strength still looks different. They're no limitations in life, but we're all bred with different auras, energies and states of balance.
Find your balance, push it, and refine it. Your balance includes consciousness about your being. Operate at your highest capacity to live in your purpose, shed your light, while living in love! Consciousness is about alignment and awareness of who you are and what you can BE! Commit to an extra serving fun and enjoyment this week, and take note of how you feel!
Written By. Tiffany W.
This month I have been participating in Deepak Choprah and Oprah's 21 Day Meditation Challenge, and after every meditation, I've been journaling about what comes up for me. The challenge is all about finding your flow. In simple words, tapping into who you are, and living your life through that truth EVERYDAY!
This post is inspired by our Day 5 topic, " Finding Expression."
The centering thought: My truth and creativity are within
When there's expression of self and truth, you flow in your nature. It takes energy to restrict flow of being, as opposed to breathing and BEing. Think about it. When you are attempting to be conservative, or be mindful of what others may feel or think about you being silly or honest. There's so much thought! It can be so nerve wrecking. As opposed to you just having fun and BEing! In this flow you can accept and honor yourself for who you are
I truly believe that as a child, with no holds bar on whats right and wrong, acceptable or not, our innate beings would use sounds , movement and visuals to express ourselves. Yelling, talking, singing, laughing, imagining we're on top of the world, or whatever...its important to not let that go. You can always BE what you think you're "supposed to be" but that act can only lasts so long. After time, your soul will feel threatened by the intrusion of falsity and won't really have the ability to be aligned with you; you wont be aligned with it, and you will be prevented from flowing.
It doesn't really matter if you think you'll embarrass yourself because to me, embarrassment is a projection of fear and uncertainty. When we are uncomfortable expressing ourselves, we are just projecting the feeling that others will be likewise be uncomfortable. Even more, the centering thought of discomfort, adds to the restriction of flow others may feel from us because they too believe that being "normal" and inexpressive is healthy. It supports the idea that whenever we live our best lives, or operate in natural truths, we unconsciously give others permission to do so as well.
We all have creative talents and visions. (An exception would be those who have brain damage to the part of their brain ascribed for creativity. ) Because we are all unique, no form of expression could ever be duplicated and therefore we should never aspire to duplicate another's creativity. Remember the words of Dr. Suess," you are you, truer than true, there's no one else as youer than you!" Honor that your experience and vessel of a being is valid and important. When you give of your true self, you always unconsciously and intuitively allow others to do the same. People seek inspiration. They seek guidance. They seek out figures to live through until they get the courage to live for themselves! Live and Express Yourself! Today, ignore any inhibitions to sing, jump, dance, laugh, make a joke, or even capture a creative thought! Express your compliments, ideas, and excitement! if its something you're used to holding back, take note of how you feel once you let yourself be yourself!
Written BY: Tiffany W.
What does it mean to be resilient ?
To be resilient it is to keep going when you want to stop. To be resilient means to understand adversity is going to happen but your persistence must continue. To be resilient means to connect to the higher power in you and that you are more than a conqueror. To be resilient does not mean that you won't experience hardship' it does not mean you will not experience pain, hurt, disgust, anger,defeat or any other negative emotion.Resiliency is an evolutionary tool embedded in our beings to keep going despite the circumstances.
When it comes to resiliency, our generation poses as a unique case. Our generation has been was raised in the midst of a technology boom, and has been infected with an idea of instant gratification. As dreamers, we imagine a life for ourselves. To obtain what we want, millennials often have a, "I'm going to snap my finger, and bam!, type of thinking. We think about the most simplest & quickest method, without considering the pain or struggle.
in reality we know life is not like a computer; it is not like a fast food restaurant. You can't get what you want instantly. You're not going to be the person you want to be instantly. Everyone is going to go through a different process and whatever your process may be, it is perfectly fine. You will fall. You will rise, but you will never fail unless you quit and never quit unless you want to experience regret.
Whatever it is you want, don't quit because your persistence and faith will eventually pay off.
Don't think about the standards of society. There are always people willing
to go the distance and do more and inadvertently break those standards at one moment. At one moment a light bulb was inconceivable. You might not have big dreams and that's OK but whatever you want in your life, don't let go of the possibility. People only know what they know; they don't know what they don't know which means there's a whole realm of possibility out there.
Never stop. Never Quit. Live your life for you, with strong blinders and a great heart!
Written By: Tiffany W.
During my pregnancy and on my journey as a new mama I have been so blessed with sisters who have opened up, and opened me up in return. I used to be one of those women who tried to hold it all in and hold it all together, then I would fall apart for a moment, lose control and restart the unhealthy cycle. I would be there for those I love, and give, and give, and give of myself until I was depleted and then "acted" STRONG.
Becoming a mama has brought me to a place where "acting" strong is no longer an option and depleting myself is no longer acceptable. When the great responsibility of creating life hit me in the chest and gut, I began revisiting my past and planning for the future. It was too much for me to hold in. I chose to see the creation of life and the birth of our daughter as a rebirth of myself. I began sharing with the women around me who I knew were safe and real. When I was scared about becoming a mama, I shared and was told by an elder mother of 6 that she was scared when she was pregnant too. I shared my fears, my tears, my doubts, my joys, my anger and my love.
For the first time, I shared the depths of my pain and depression and was met with empathy, hugs, love and compassion. I learned that I was not alone in my experience. Sharing was healing for me. My sisters let me know that I was safe and reminded me that the same God that brought me through my past, is the same God that will bring me through the present and the future. Now, I know that there is strength in sharing.
As women, we are carriers. We hold and birth life through our wombs. In order to give birth to the greatness inside of us, we must first make space for ourselves. Sharing our deepest truths creates healing and bonding. This allows us to grow and birth our gifts.
When we stop sharing, our relationships die and our spirits can too.
Written By; Jacinda Palmer Pascal
I am a lover of life; a woman, mother and wife! I see motherhood as a blessing, a calling and a sacred assignment. I am passionate about motherhood and all the blessings, joys, pains, and transformation it brings. I am using my journey through motherhood to support and empower other mothers and women. As women and mothers, we have the opportunity to heal, grow and transform ourselves, our children and generations to come.
Follow My Blog: http://mamamatters2.blogspot.com/2014/03/she-is-my-why.html
If asked, would you prefer a completely stress free life or one with occasional stress, pressures, and challenges, you'd probably take the latter. This way of living could exists, if you lived in a remote village, rural community, or on a small populated island but in a capitalistic, over populated, well advanced society like the US, it would be nearly impossible. Yet that is perfectly fine because, physiologically, we need stress. Our bodies are wired to maneuver through it, and at a certain stage of cognition, we take our stresses, adapt, and allow our minds to take control and drive ourselves to seek balance and peace.
The quote goes, "When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds, and diamonds are made under pressure"- Peter Marshall. Pressure is completely transformational. Most of the time, losing what you thought you valued or being rejected, is the most transformational platform that can be placed in your journey. The challenge with pressure, is making sure to not succumb to complete idleness and a sense of defeat. I know friends (as well as myself)who've lost lovers, jobs, homes, great financial standings, health, and hope! and you know what, its OK!! Everyday, you can start over. Every moment, you can choose how you will stand; who you will be, and what you transform into!
My charge to YOU: follow a process in which you allow yourself to absorb, react, reflect, act, and share your experience. Life and the essence of BEing is meant to be transformational. Take the butterfly as an example. The caterpillar does not resist from one day creating a cocoon, to one day retreat, and later metamorphose into a beautiful creature. We can learn a lot from nature. Just know that any pressure that you are currently or will in the future will experience, will be the stepping stone to a greater possibility in your life, if you believe it to be so. Life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% how we react! Transform your mind, transform your body and transform your life!
Written By: Tiffany Wright