The world or even your self may have you believing otherwise, but nothing feels better than joy...well maybe its cousins love and gratitude.
Accroding to researchers in the field of Positive Psychology Joy is actually 1 of 10 positive emotions we experience, and the most frequently experienced emotion.
Peep the following
10. Love ( which really is a combination of all of the above)
Life just feels so much better when you see the light. Especially if you're ina dark space, and you CHOOSE to empower yourself and change your perspective, you become unstoppable!
By: Tiffany W.
Good words can open the heart, soothe the soul, heal a wound, ignite the mind, and excite your spirit. Here are some of my favorite quotes!
What are some of your favorite quotes? Respond below or share them with me via email@example.com. I'd love to post them in your honor!
By: Tiffany W.
The journey of self discovery of the millennial, is unlike any other living generation today. We're idealists, travelers, "late bloomers," unconventional in many ways, and definitely more spiritually and mentally grounded than others. We are the ones that created Social Media. To be frank, we've changed history forever.With my fascination of millennials, I often do my own research to see what emerging theories are being produced in Psychology about us.
Famed Psychologist, Dr. Jeffrey Jensen studies 20 somethings, and has declared that our twenties is its own developmental stage of life. For many years, Deevlopmental Psychologists have used the framework of Erik Erikson which lumped us together from ages 20-45, and called it "Young Adulthood." Arnette seems to be the academic father of studying millennials. In 2004, he published Emerging Twenties: The Winding road from Late Teens Through the Twenties. "According to Dr. Arnett, in the past half century what most people experience during the years from age 18 to 29 has changed dramatically in industrialized societies. Instead of entering marriage and parenthood in their very early twenties, most people now postpone these transitions until at least their late twenties, and spend their late teens through their mid-twenties in self-focused exploration as they try out different possibilities in love and work." Check out some of his work here.
One thing I know for sure, is that a large number of millennials (at least those who are anti, "the plan") are striving to find their own place in, purpose in and meaning of life. It's apparent that as more millennials (especially in the US) are travelling and becoming more aware of different cultures, that the polarity between choosing to apply Eastern and Western values is strong. More yoga, more mindfulness, more fitness, more health consciousness, less dogma, less traditionalism.
Its an interesting journey, and one to me, that really help defines what it means to be a 20-something. I often appreciate ancient words that shine light on the possible path ahead. Words that not only awaken my consciousness but also help me question what I believe. Before we enter the phase in which we decide to live our own lives, we are only taking the "truth" that we were socialized to believe. Your religion, your values, and your morals are largely influenced by your upbringing; moreso than not, they were fed to you by your parents or support system growing up.
In my own journey of life and self love, I appreciate the value of learning to connect to my own spirit about what I believe and how I want to live my life.
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus
Even more than ever, Gratitude and Being Present is essential for the Millennial. Our cultural obsession with instant gratification truly tends to distract us from life.
Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.” – Albert Einstein (or woman of course).
Words like these can create a shift in values. Our parents, the government, the media and ideas of adulthood send us a message about the importance of collecting "things" such as homes, cars, investments, and titles. Success is traditionally associated with anything that we can acquire, but what if deep down inside, you don;t really care about what you acquire. Granted, "retirement" is important, but do you want to release those ideals from your experience? Do you want to create your own boundaries and lifestyle? I mean, it's kind of a 4th world problem: Do I want to take advantage of the Wealth around me, or do I want to Live like a "minimalist" and "enjoy life" like primarily the rest of the world?
We see stories and stories about those with riches feeling unloved, devalued, hopeless and invisible all the time.
As lost as they think we are, I believe that millennials are pretty insightful. With respect to Classic Greek Philosophers and inventors during the Enlightenment Period, our social, mental, and emotional intelligence has brought forth a shift in society. When history looks back at our years those born between 1980 and 2000, they will note the amount of innovators and everyday intellectuals. An array of beings that didn't necessary have one sure track to living, but women and men from all cultures that really knew how to live and embrace individuality (even if a large number end up broke a 75 haha). Let's be honest about what we have going on here. We're the outtest (LGBTQ community has made history). Not only the highest ( next to the original hippy bunch), but young people are popping up with multi-million dollar dispensary businesses everywhere. We know how to really turn our passions into paychecks (especially when we can't get jobs); this is the generation of the Instafamous and YouTube Celebrity! Let's leave the Bloggers, Tech Start-ups, and App creators in their own Kingdom...because it's historically mind boggling.
Granted I believe millennials have great emotional and intimacy issues, but in time because we are such a pro-therapy, pro-wellness, and pro-transformative bunch, this will all be settled by 40, which compared to our parents is great because most of them didn't start connecting to their true emotions until 40!
In sum, we're awesome. You're awesome. Continue to forge your path and fall on your face while you're at it.
What quotes, stories, or people have impacted you to reconsider how you want to live your life? I'd love to hear your own story. Email firstname.lastname@example.org
Love has the power to transform your life.
Love has the power to heal your wounds.
Love makes life more meaningful.
Love makes life more enjoyable.
Receiving love and BEing the love someone receives makes life magical.
It means a lot for us to honor ourselves and connect to the importance of allowing love within our lives.
For us to acknowledge that love is around and present, we must be open and aware of its possibilities. To be open, we must first understand that we deserve love and actually thrive on it. We must be open to accepting and loving on ourselves.
How does one choose to love on themselves? Thats up to you. You know your self best. Even if you feel like you don't, you do! I promise.
Secondly, we all have a different love language. In The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, the author discusses that people respond or register " love" through different modes: touch, affirmation, gifts, quality time, and acts of service. When we first fill our own selves up, we can then truly be open to receiving love from others (in whatever form we connect to most).
A life without love, is one lackluster experience. So what is the point of this? The love you give yourself as well as the love others show you, really can make your life complete. Having a support system whether its friends, family or a romantic relationship absolutely enhances your life. You may have greatness in you that only your loved can see. When you're weak, your loved ones can hold you up. When you experience joy or pride, sharing it with your loved ones spreads positive energy.
Likewise, you must be filled up with so much love, that you decide to be that lighy in someone's life ad well.
To be loved, to be loved, oh to be loved!
By: Tiffany W.
It's been some days since it has past but I'd love to share how this year's 87th Academy Awards had some very key moments to me.
This year, the Academy had received much deserved flack about the lack of diversity in nominations. For one, major awards such as Best Actor and Best Actress had not one person of color nominated. This recognition (or lack thereof) creates a global narrative that only White artists matter and we know that all artistry is noteworthy.
Well race wasn't the only highlight of the awards. Social justice, individualism, faith, patience and hard work were present as well!
Actors and actresses who've had long spanding careers finally were nominated and/or won awards last night. Teaching us the importance of sticking out your dream NO MATTER WHAT. When it is your time, the world will halt at your feet. Patricia Arquette, Michael Keaton, and Julianne Moore are 3 great examples of living life for the sake of living life. They contribute to the art of film because they love the characters they portray. They've all had careers over 15 years and have all had a long road to being nominated or chosen as a winner. The idea of mere perspiration with no accolade and the pure pleasure of your purpose being a reward in itself, touches me.
Screenwriter of The Theory Of Everything, Graham Moore shared a message of self pride and self love when he shared that he wanted to commit suicide when he was 16 because he was weird. He said, " When I was 16 years old I tried to kill myself because I felt weird and I felt different and I felt like I did not belong, and now I’m standing here,” he said on stage Sunday night. ”I would like for this moment to be for that kid out there who feels like she’s weird or she’s different or she doesn’t fit in anywhere. Yes you do. I promise you do. Stay weird. Stay different, and then when it’s your turn, and you are standing on this stage, please pass the same message along.”
Patricia Arquette used the stage after accepting her award to rally for equal rights and equal pay of women in all industries. “To every woman who gave birth to every citizen and taxpayer of this nation, we have fought for everybody else’s equal rights,” she said. “It’s our time to have wage equality once and for all and equal rights for women in the United States of America.”
Common spoke of social justice for all people and how the Selma march was still relevant to peoples struggle today. He stated, "The spirit of this bridge [referring to an onstage replica of Selma, Alabama's Edmund Pettus Bridge] connects the kid from the South Side of Chicago dreaming of a better life to those in France standing up for their freedom of expression, to the people in Hong Kong protesting for democracy," said Common (watch in the video above). "This bridge was built on hope, welded with compassion and elevated by love for all human beings."John Legend added, "We know that right now, the struggle for freedom and justice is real. We live in the most incarcerated country in the world. There are more black men under correctional control today than were under slavery in 1850. When people are marching with our song, we want to tell you we are with you, we see you, we love you and march on."
John Legend quoted, "We know that right now, the struggle for freedom and justice is real. We live in the most incarcerated country in the world. There are more black men under correctional control today than were under slavery in 1850. When people are marching with our song, we want to tell you we are with you, we see you, we love you and march on."
Inspiration to move forward, BE More, step in your purpose and share your gift and truth with the world can come from anywhere. If you're searching for something more, allow your spirit to recieve it.
If you have a story of inspiration, or feel moved by something in pop culture, I'd love to hear about it. Email email@example.com
By: Tiffany W.
Happy #selflovesunday BEautiful BEings! Its the day of spiritual revival and I myself and feeling renewed. Good things always happen to our souls on Sundays. Its the beginning of the week and I want to share something special with you.
Today I got the most empowering text from a good friend and sister like figure in my life. She said, "Have you been posting anything? the last post I could see is the Valentine's day one, I think something may be wrong with my browser. Let me know."
Do you know why that was empowering? Because I wanted to quit blogging. I knew I wasn't going to quit but I considered, what do I need to do differently to make an impact? I truly want to create content that the average gen y woman can relate to and to be honest when people don't comment, like, repost or even acknowledge what you do, it's easy to think, well maybe it's not good. It's good enough for me because it's my truth, but I have to consider as to whether it resonates with others...
That text let me know, that even if it's just 1 person, someone cares.
I'm going to have a truth moment with you:
I have been frozen for literally 1 week. No writing (until last night). Little feeling. Little exposure. Little interaction. I've confined myself to my room for the most part. Laying in bed, praying, meditating and watching movies I've seen 100 plus times. As I've felt emotionally dead, mentally I've driven myself insane 100 plus times.
Feelings of failure, despair, confusion, dissapointment, and dare I say doubt. About what? The path I'm on. See, from a place of faith and spirituality, I can see the future, but the present leaves me in total confusion sometimes. One thing I know for sure is that when you get a vision from God several times in your life, that vision is showing you whats possible. I believe divine sight, inspiration and vision is real. Whatever God shows you, will always take place. I've seen my life. I've seen the impact, the joy, the love, the abundance, the family, the philanthropy, and the legacy.
The problem with having such clarity while being a typical millennial and someone with depression, is that I become an enemy of time. With visions and goals there comes action. With action, there's not only expected outcomes, but expected outcomes on my timeline. Certain times of the year falling on my face is no problem, I get that happens in life. Other times, the times in which I'm most prone to experiencing a depressive episode, my failed Great Expectations become a problem.
The reality that I know: Life is NEVER as bad as it SEEMS. If you can find gratitude in having shelter, food, health, clothing and love, you're doing better than about 2/3rds of the world. In the end, the world never really knows what might have been done (in light of failure) they just remember you're impact (whether negative or positive). The reality that my well self knows: I am enough.
Well reality has almost nothing to do with the mind of someone in a depressive state. A different darker dimmer reality exists. It's the one that says, " What I'm doing isn't working. I don't matter. No one pays attention to me. I want to give up." (If you believe "depression is a choice" or don't really understand it, I suggest you visit http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml).
I fall victim to my own great expectations. No matter what I do or what I say, the judge in me can easily choose to nullify everything; every step, every effort and every piece of "success."
The truth is that true acceptance and perfect self love is hard for anyone. That's why its a journey of fascination for me. Not just on a personal level, but on a psychological level. In fields like Positive Psychology and Personality Psychology, looking at all measures of self concept are the most compelling stories of human behavior. Self acceptance is hard for anyone, but especially those with the most critical, heart and mind.
Naturally, I'm critical and I overthink, but when you take account of my brain chemistry at times (the depression) I become anxious. I become obsessed. I become inundated with thoughts that counter what I KNOW to be my true being. My advantage: I'm extremely cognizant of the mental and at times spiritual battle going on inside of me, which is why I know what I need to do to recalibrate my internal state.
There is beauty in learning about yourself. There is beauty in accepting your own journey, your own truths, your own limited limitations, and the possibilities that exists. There is beauty in timing. There is beauty in special relationships. There is beauty in darkness. There is beauty in life.
Sometimes life gets hard and overwhelming but we must just pray and surrender, and continue to love on ourselves.
No matter what, I still chose to love on myself (even though my mind didn't connect to it) I worked out, prayed, meditated, burned my incense/sage, watched what would make me laugh, listened to my sermons and read uplifting messages.
I knew I'd come around. ..eventually. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing . I'm glad to say I'm back.
Do you have a story of triumph? Would you like to share something from your own self love journey. I and the world want you to share your story. Please email firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to be featured as a guest blogger.
By: Tiffany W.
It's been approximately 1 year and 2 months since I've been a single and unattached romatically woman. I've bern attached to a boy/man :) from 13 to 26 non stop. Once my last relationship ended, I decided to really fall in love with myself and it's been quite a journey. Somewhere in between an obsession with Disney, Rom Coms, and Say Yes to the Dress, I believe that I had a deep yearning to be loved and duplicate what I saw in my favorite shows and movies. It was such a deep desire, I put the idea of love before my mind, body and spirit.
Once moving past the stages of hurt and anger, I can now say I don't have any desire to speak ill of my ex or past relationship. I believe all relationships, especially romantic, teach us about ourselves. Love brings out the best and worst in us; and in some ways, it brings out parts of us we didn't even know existed. Love has it's own lessons that when in the midst of the journey or after, is great to embrace.
Here are some thoughts and questions to consider. If you were hurt, did you see it coming? Did you ignore the signs? Were you and that BEing aligned from the get go? Did you feel like you to compromise yourself? If your separation just seemed mutual and right, do you now understand the beauty of time's essence? Can you see that every love story doesn't have to be an epic novel but could be just as beautiful as a short story?
As a single millennial woman, I am deeply appreciative of my learning experiences. This Valentine's Day, I'm appreciatuve to be single and honestly in love with myself. In the time I've been completely unattached, I've been able to grow deeper and higher in to myself. I've been able to face truths about myself that are easily ignored or supported through relationships. No hodong. No falsehoods. No trying to be what I think another wants me to be.
I now can be confident in knowing, feeling and recognizing that my next love will be someone who is so spirtually rooted, so emotionally intelligent, mature, confident, selfless, creative and loving, that when we see eachother, we will see God. It will go so deep and be so beautiful, that all my lessons will be worth it.
Today, my Valentine is one of my best friends. We are on different paths of our self love journey but embrace and support each other in it. Our date tonight, the Keith Sweat, Musiq Soulchild, and Chrisette Michele concert. Falling in love with ourselves and each other, a reflection of something greater. When true live exist in your life, it's source can come from anywhere.
So whether you're single, in a relationship, or married, may today amd every day be ome filled with pure, confident, authentic, unapologetic, unpolished, unpolluted love. May you see yourself through the most loving eyes. May you share that love with those around you, both familiar and unknown.
Happy Day of Love BEautiful BEings!
Today I want to provide some reflections on love, for the single and taken.
Love is such a beautiful expression; whether to a family member, friend, lover or stranger. I believe love has the power to transform your life and the world.
When we feel loved by ourselves or others, we actually see life in a bright light. When we feel un loved, unappreciated, unrecognized, or unimportant we tend to lash out. People do dangerous things to fill voids in their life. Some, leave behind life all together because they feel like they have nothing to look forward to.
Today, just as everyday, choose to embrace the love in your life. Share your love and appreciation for others, today and everyday. Honor yourself.
Comment below and share how you're spending the day
By: Tiffany W.
It's #fearlessfriday wooot woot!
Let go of fear, and hold on to FAITH! Have Faith in yourself to be bold, courageous, and free enough to live YOUR life how YOU WANT TO!
Question: Why are people so afraid of BEing themselves?
Others opinions can be so impactful on your life if you let them, whether you see them as positive or negative. But what about just going with your own gut? What about taking your own risk? What about finding out what joy and success mean to you? At the beginning and end of the day, YOU get to deal with YOU; your thoughts, emotions, habits, fears, wishes, goals, discomforts...thats all you.
Understand for every action there is a reaction, and everything we choose to do or not do in this life affects someone else, but if you're living to appease others, that's a limiting way to live. People will disagree with choices you make and that's ok. It's your life and others don't have to understand.
Want to start a business? Do it. Want to get a makeover? Do it. Want to move to another location? Do it. Want to leave everything behind and travel the world? Do it. Want to try a new hobby that seems out of your comfort zone? Definitely do it. Want to change career fields? Do it. Want to step out of the box you and others have put you in? Do it!
The first commandment of Self Love that I discuss in my book BE Love: Daily Intentions Guiding You to Self Love is Honor Thyself. Well it's difficult to really love yourself if you don't A. Know who you are B. Allow yourself to just BE C. Can't connect with that commandment because you're looking at yourself through other's eyes. Get your mind and spirit aligned. Learn to follow your spirit and intentionally connect to who you want to be and what you want to do with this life!
By: Tiffany W.
Hey Ladies! The timelines you have in your head about these "milestones" you must meet, are not real. I'd first like to bring to attention, the obsession with 30. You know what I'm talking about.
For starters, most of you want to be in your dream career, job, car, and/or living situation by 30. Yes, the idea of pure independence and social power as a woman definitely seems like the way to go. You possibly spend your 20s sacrificing your physical and mental health so you can satisfy your ego and obtain the "things" your heart desires. If you have all that, or are working on all that, that's wonderful for you. It's great to have goals to work towards. It keeps life fascinating. On the flipside, are you constantly comparing yourself to others if in fact you haven't acquired those "things" yet? Are you allowing those acquisitions define your value? Do you see yourself as less or more valuable without or with them, respectively?
Secondly, are you feeling the pressure to be a global citizen? According to MMGY Global, 6 in 10 millennials would rather spend money on experiences than on things. Translation, we travel a lot! With hundreds of travel blogs, social media accounts deddicated to deals and photo sharing, one could feel the "pressure" to travel. Well, one could also feel that they have to get all the adventure out of them now, right now, this very moment, especially before 30 when life "begins. " Give me a break. I get your YOLO mentality, and I understand you never know what the future holds, but if other generations could survive putting off travel, you won't go off the deep end if you waited.
Hmmm, what do we have next? Ahhhh good ol marriage. Now this right here...this is the whole reason behind this post. Elite Daily posted an article this week, sharing that a 29 year old woman who had been in a 2 year relationship committed suicide because her 30th birthday was days away and she was not married nor with children. Her goal: have a family by 30. May her soul rest in peace. This right here calls for major conversation. This story, plus that of women marrying themselves, just tugs on my heart.
Life is not defined by you obtaining a husband (or wife). You are more than a BEing waiting for a ring and ceremony. Yes, love enhances your life so much more. Yes, having a committed long term partner makes life a little sweeter, but life is so much more. Do you love yourself? Like, reeeeeaaaallly love yourself? Do you give to others? Do you pour love in others? Have you connected to and began walking in your purpose?
Marriage is an institution of security, moreso for the woman than man. A wife secures a man to bear children and obtain wealth. That's the history of it. Marriage until the late 19th century, has never really been about Love. Its been about security. The presence of motion pictures began to really idolicize notions of romance. Now today, partially thanks to companies like Disney and DeBeers, we are obsessed with romamce, rings, marriage (as an event more than a committment). Women in the US, used to get married in their teens because they had to. Now we have the power to choose because we don't need marriage for financial security. Dwell in that. For the most part, your life in 2015 is marked by a sense of freedom. You don't live in 1920. Which also means you can speak up and become more involved in the process.
This married by 30 business can lead to diminished esteem, depression, anxiety, and desperation. First off, anyone can GET married but it's not just about getting married...its about staying married. Learn who you are. Find your purpose. Live your happy. Fall in love with you and you'll attract what you want, I'm so sure of it.
There is no rule as to when you "should" get married. It's a mental and social construction. ITS NOT REAL! Come back to reality please. You're causing yourself unnecessary stress and pressure, and that is not healthy.
Ask yourself, do you a wedding or a lifetime of commitment with someone? Do you realize that marriage is not just about having someone forever? Are you the person you need to be, to even be married? Are you selfless? a good communicator? aware of your faults? actively working on healing past hurts and trauma? trusting? a committed person?
Hey woman, let that obsession go, whether you're 25 or 35. Live life and whatever you're searching for, will find you.
By: Tiffany W.
**View Article referenced in post