The digital age can make certain emotional experiences extremely difficult to move through. When loss, transition, or any type of event that can bring about mourning and grief occurs, social media and the overwhelming amount information on the internet, can make going through these experiences challenging in a way that previous generations did not have to deal with.
This past week, the world lost a person that was idolized beyond talent, but was inspirational for his drive, mental strength philosophies, and leadership. In connection to the loss of Kobe Bryant, many people felt impacted by the loss of children and parents that were aboard his helicopter, who also passed. Anytime a flying vessel gets into an accident that leaves fatalities, it feels tragic. But this, to the world, has been absolutely tragic.
Major stories like these, stop the average person in their track, and lead one to consider the unpredictability of life, and realize the limits of mortality. When we have big news stories like this, especially when the story is surrounding a major public figure, it brings up so many other complexities around grief.
Because we are human, we are connected; and we always have the capacity to feel pain when others, whether we know them or not, are hurt, experiencing injustice, or in pain. It is no shock that people of all backgrounds, all around the world, are being impacted by this helicopter accident, which will continue to be in headlines for the next week or so. Beyond this news, it appears that every other week, we hear of a natural disaster, politically motivated act of violence, or mass shooting that is tragic.
In light of not only the loss of the Kobe and Gianna Bryant, but also John, Keri and Alyssa Altobelli, Sarah and Peyton Chester, Ara Zobayan, and Christina Mauser, I would like to share 8 tips on how to navigate grief in the social media age.
2. Limit exposure to details of death.
Contrary to popular belief, details of death do not grant “closure” or ensure emotional composure. In fact, it may do the opposite. It may illicit fear, worry, and lasting fixation on how the person passed. As a result, your brain may create its own images which may replay causing you to re-experience the person’s death, thus creating difficult emotions.
3. Take alone time when overwhelmed by other’s condolences.
People mean well, around the times of death, however, sometimes you just need to breathe. Within the first 24–72 hours there is intense shock and grief. Handle your energy and attention with care. Its ok to take time to be with your initial thoughts and emotions around the loss, without engaging in conversation.
4. Memorialize the deceased.
There is power in staying connected to deceased. Everything is energy, and the energy of the deceased are merely transformed into other forms. Honoring the decease allows you to celebrate them and their connection to you. It also eases the pain of what a traditional notion of death and attachment looks like.
5. Feel your feelings & reflect on what’s coming up for you.
Death will bring up all types of emotions; anger, sadness, guilt, confusion, and emptiness. One can feel lost. One will likely feel in denial. All of it, is fine. Try to also grant yourself the gentleness to create space for whatever comes up.
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In my journey as a healer and someone experiencing healing, I have evolved into a practitioner that centers everything around a transpersonal and mindfulness approach. I believe that so much of our human experience can be shaped by our connection to ourselves, the world around us, and the power of awareness in that connectedness. A key to walking a journey of awareness and connection comes through reflection. It is in reflection, that we learn to really see ourselves and the world around us. In reflection, we can learn to honor ourselves. In reflection, we can learn to be our best selves. In reflection, we can learn to the ultimate powers of love in the form of self-love and acceptance.
There is a time for looking forward, but there is also a time, to sit in the now, and also, reach back into the past. The past is a great teacher. The past can be a source of power. The past can be a source of growth. So as the month, year, and decade come to an end, I want to provide some great reflective questions, that give you space to connect to yourself, honor and celebrate the 2019 version of who you were!
How did I live out my purpose?
What are major lessons I learned?
What relationships am I most grateful for and why?
What experiences am I most grateful for and why?
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