Who doesn't love Fridays! It's the day that most people get relinquish a little responsibility and just BE! You may take some time to think about the week and usually say, Dang Its been a Hell of A Week! Well what if you took the same approach to life and reflecting on past decisions? Because even though the week has been hell, you're not harboring shame, anger or guilt from it...
Well like you love Fridays, I love moments that lead to reflection and growth! Whenever I'm deep in the presence of an epiphany or realization, I say, " Oh yes. The shift is real." Growth is all about the shifts that happen throughout life. A shift in understanding, leads to a shift in perspective, which often times (if you're focused on transformation) leads to a shift in behavior patterns.
When the shift is real, it feels oh so good. But would you like to know the sacrifice that must come before a shift?
Releasing self judgment of any decision or action as a mistake or bad. Now, that's not an exit for one to escape the law of self accountability because if you caused physical, emotional, or mental damge to a person or situation then you need to take responsibility for that and realize there were some more appropriate choices that could have been made, but it's not mistake. In truth, you did what you did because you wanted to do it. Regardless if you ignored your center when it told you to stop, walk away or you shouldn't be doing this. The execution of a decision or behavior taught you something about yourself, taught someone else something about you, and added to the overall colorful story of the human experience.
What we deem as mistakes are really paths to transformation. We all need a reason to transform, and often times its our dishonorable patterns that leads us to those changes. I often say, its at the point, when a women realizes how she dishonor her body and spirit that she begins to explore a path of mindfulness. After too many unhealthy relationships do women realize they need to reassess why they go after or attract the mates they do. Its after issues with eating disorders, physical health, not taking pictures due to Shame, or hearing how negative their self talk is about their bodies that women realize they need to improve their relationship with their bodies.
One of my favorite quotes from Elizabeth Gilbert, writer of Eat, Pray, Love is, " Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. " Above all, it's absolutely true. First Commandment of Self Love is Honor Thyself, and that is a commitment to accepting all the decisions you've made in your life. Let them lead you to a beautiful freedom or going higher in your BEing; becoming stronger and wiser.
Upon intitial reflection, it's easy to say that certain decisions we frown upon our mistakes, but the more time you take to think about them, the more you realize what you've learned and how they really did open your eyes to understanding the world much different. Who you were when you made those decisions is not who you have to be when you're reflecting on them. You choose what you want to be while embracing all that you are and have been because it's all one.
By: Tiffany W.
How are you choosing to look at life and all that has happened in it?
Do you go with the flow, staying solution oriented and believing everything will work itself out? Or do you allow dissapointment to reak havoc in your life? Do you get mad and blame everyone around you?
Life is 10% what happens and 90% how we respond, and that response begins with our perspective and attitude.
Naturally we create expectations and ideas of how we want life to pan out, but the reality is, life has its own plans. You only have so much control, and in knowing that, you have to realize a lot of mess is going to happen beyond your control. Now, some smh moments and situations, we definitely bring upon ourselves, yes yes yes, and we still blame others and get mad at the world. But other times, its just the mere fact that this world is way bigger than us, and what occurs in our lives is a chain reaction from others actions.
Perspective and attitude is everything. The death of a parent may cause one person to go into a depressive state versus another may feel really motivated to live a big successful life, honoring the memory of that parent. The ending of a relationship may cause one person to think they're not good enough and the world is over vs. another might see that end as a step into a new beginning and really take it as a lesson to learn about themselves. Attitude and perspective.
I guarantee, someone's praying for your blessings. I guarantee someone has less than you, has lost more than you, has failed more times than, and is still going. Choose to be grateful, to be happy, and to be hopeful.
When you shift your attitude, the world instantly looks different.
Is there something you've been wanting to go after and try, but you just keep talking yourself out of it? You know deep down inside it's something you should be going after because there's a tug on your spirit. Well...just go. Just Do It! Even when you doubt yourself, when you feel afraid, and especially if you're uncomfortable. All it takes is one step, then another, and then another. Convincing yourself is 90% of the battle.
People who have a weak connection with their spiritual selves, and allow their minds impose too much on their lives, tend to live in confusion and are indecisive. Clarity occurs when you know how to silence your mind and allow your spirit to guide you.
" If you'll become a confident, decisive person, you'll accomplish a lot more with less effort."- Joyce Meyer
Look, this life is meant to be lived with you giving and receiving love, joy and abundance. You will get what you want when you learn to surrender and give away whatever you're supposed to give. We are all blessed with different talents, passions, purposes, and ideas, but unfortunately most of those blessings go to the grave. They never see the light of day because their vessels lived a life of fear and may have walked away from their purpose because of doubt, confusion or even past mistakes.
"If you feel that God is prompting you to give something away, help someone out, or make a change in your life, do it! Take some action and sow seeds of obedience."-Joyce Meyer
Guess what, everything doesn't work out how you want it to and even when you want it to because you as a person must be molded and formed to be the right person at the right time to be the poster child of that vision, purpose, passion or idea. Timing is everything, and even if what you want doesn't pan out when you want it to, keep going, everything will always work together.
I've never considered writing for a living and because of this blog not only do I have my first devotional book, but I'm working on second book now. Amazing things happen when you honor your spirit and walk in obedience. Choose faith over fear because there's an amazing life on the other side of what you can't see.
So today, I want you to look at your vision board, your list of goals, your journal or wherever you capture those dreams, goals, visions, etc. I want you to declare favor and ask your higher power to direct you in the way to share gift. What you seek is seeking you and it will find you if you stay open. Make steps this week towards what you want.
By: Tiffany W.
You may have a vision of the future, but not even YOU can see what God has planned.
It is said that two of the greatest days that exists is the day you are born and the day you find out why. That why is Your purpose. Everyone and everything has a purpose. A tricky aspect of the human experience is that most people get so distracted by social pressures and so complacent with the monotony of life, that they never even connect to their purpose or even consider that they have one. The journey to finding and connecting to your purpose is similar to that of one's self love journey. It takes some hurt, loss, confusion, questions, and thirst for something more.
On the way to finding your purpose, there's your dreams, goals, desires and visions of what you want your life to look like. You imagine your wedding, your family, career, vacations, and maybe even your wardrobe. You hear that if you can dream it, you can do it. But as you go after what you want, you learn that just because you get something you want, it doesn't mean you'll be happy. See its when your goals are aligned with your purpose and higher being, that life seems magically amazing. On the flip side, you may very well envision your future but how life unfolds, may be anything beyond than you imagined.
This is why learning to embrace and honoring your spirit is so important. See when you're connected to your centered BEing, your spirit self, you activate an internal GPS that guides you through life. You can live through your spirit and not just your head. Because your mind can only see so far, even when it is connected to your spirit.
Live with certainty. Live with purpose. Live with intention. Live knowing that there are forces beyond you, working in your favor to string together all the happenings in your life. Living through your spiritual being and taking focused steps towards your best life will always expand more opportunities to give, to love, to shine, and to be!
Sometimes, it's reassuring to just see simple words that resonate with us. As someone who loves all things restorative, I'm a quote junky. Quotes were my go to, before creating my self love tool kit. Words are powerful. They feed our mind and shape our experience.
When you see words that touch you, it's not just about agreeing with them in the moment, but its about keeping their truth in your mind. Keeping those words close to you, so you can revisit them as often as necessary. When you feel defeated, fearful, hopeless, or shaken up about life.
Isnt it funny that when you're experiencing growing pains it just feels really painful? You want the pain to end and you just want to get that rough patch over with? Well maybe the funny part isn't really the pain, but its the realization you get when you find yourself maturely reflecting on an experience and you can sit back and laugh or really just speak from an objective space.
Its kind of the sentiment that occurs when you go through the stages of grief from a serious or hoped to be serious relationship which ended. At first your angry, then confused, then you miss them, and then maybe hurt, sad and you finally get over it. One day, youre even able to speak about your ex without being passive agressive or sharp tongued. But did you ever think you'd see the day where you could joyfully function without and be totally ok speaking about them?
Well it happens and so does time for all matters of life. One recent lesson God has shown me and completely confirmed with a conversation from a man I met weeks ago is that all of life comes full circle. The circle of life isn't just a memorable line and sentiment from The Lion King. Its a true reflection of the total Earthly experience of our
BEing. No matter how something occured in your life, nothing is an accident or coincidence. Everything will always connect, including your connection to the lessons you've learned throughout life. Your lessons in trust, love, platonic relationships, career, faith, finance, leadership, socialization, etc.
Therefore when you go through non-ideal times in life, remember that you will GROW through whatever you're experiencing. More than that, beyond anything you can see, those times will make sense, eventually. Just like you can Honor Yourself and all that you've gone through, know that during those tough moments Honoring Your Spirit, and allowing it to lead you to your next step is pretty important on the journey of self love.
Faith will carry places that your mind cannot conceive. There is always a greater force than you, thus there will always be a greater purpose than what you can see. Celebrate life as much as you can, even when it doesn't seem worth it.
By: Tiffany W.
What happens when you ascribe value to your life and BEing according ro what you have?
Well, in the event you lose anything that you feel added to your value, you just might feel your value decreases and you may begin to have issues with self worth.
Let me tell you what I know to be real about self worth. Its a concept that is elusive like any other idea, but it is purely determined by you. No one can determine your self worth and nothing can increase or decrease your self worth without your permission. You can choose to accept or reject any ideas about what you deserve to your liking.
For some time, I dealth with issues around self worth. With the upmost transparency, I share this because, even as someone who understands and dedicates her life to embracing and teaching self love, I too have my own journey and ita just as complexed as anyone else's. See I prided myself on completed goals and financial stability. At 24 I felt very secure in the path I was on. I felt secure in all that I had and never ever considered that circumstances would change. At 25 I began having some internal shifts and by 26 my life was completely different than any vision in my mind. At 25 I lost my job and began wellness coaching. I was doing well until more major shifts. During my 26th year I managed end a 2.5 year relationship, spend half the year in a major depressive state, lose most of my wellness clientele due to my lack of focus, centeredness and enthusiasm in life, give up my car and apartment, and experience personal debt because of little money flow and poor judgements from my relationship. At 27, even though I was/am walking in my purpose, I HAD (up until recently) really diminished my own worth. I can count the ways, but mainly not feeling worthy of a romantic relationship because of my own financial situation. Also, not feeling confident in general because of what I didn't have.
I mean it was the darndest dissonance. Loving so many aspects of myself and life, but feeling completely uncomfortable about others. For me, walking in faith amd walking through fear while upping my acts of self love such as giving more and focusing on all the great things I am, was my focus to create a shift in 2015. My oh my, it has worked.
Why do I share this? I attached worth literally to finance and materials...that is not worth. Physical currency has nothing to do with the energetic currency your BEing can use in this world. It took loss and a MAJOR shift in a humbling position for me to get to a point to connect to my best authentic, genuine, whole, and valuable self.
It took extra effort of me looking to see how others treated me, and viewing myself through the eyes of others. BEing surrojnded and interracting with people that loved on me, whether I knew them or not, revealed a lot. Realizing anything in life can be gained or lost, should be all the more reason that one connects to their BEing, being the only constant in an ever changing world.
Your worth is not defined by what you wear, who you hang around, who you date, where you live, or even how much money you have. Consider what your purpose is? How much of yourself do you give and share with others? Consider what people have been impacted by you? What have you contributed to the world? How do you love on others?
Your worth is the value of your being.
By: Tiffany W.
When a woman goes through some monthly changes, she and the world can be galaxies apart. Thats how I felt today. I wasn't necessarily mad or sad but I wasn't necessarily feeling joyful or peaceful. I was in that space of ehhhh. You know what I mean. When there's no word to describe how you feel, you just feel kind of ehh.
Well I have a lot to look forward to today, so I needed to hype myself up. Get my frequency on a higher level, so I pulled out the self love tool kit and used it to the 7th degree!
Whats the self live tool kit? Well, as a means of self care, self love, mental health and wellness, I believe we all need to find activities or specific actions we can tap into ASAP to center our selves back to a place where we function as our higher selves.
I took a page from my book BE Love: Daily Intentions Guiding You to Self Love. Literally, I took a page, read the intention, and followed the action step (this is why you need the book).
I spent an hour, uninterrupted and did what I had to do.
Here you go:
1. Read my Joyce Meyer Power of Being Thankful Devotional
2. Listened to a 30 minute Joel Osteen sermon on Faith
3. Burned 2 sticks of my favorite incense called Mama's Island Coco from www.mamasunshinestreasures.com
4. Read the intention on page 50 of BE Love
5. Sat on the floor, no socks on, straight back, legs shoulder length apart. Lit a piece of sage and said the following:
I release thoughts of hopelessness, worthlessness, doubt and fear. I release shame, guilt, and fear. I release all notions that falsely mirror limits of my BEing and capabilities. I am open to all love and abundance. I am receiving love and abundance. I will give love and abundance. Love and abundance is manifesting itself in my life right now. Amen
6. Burned my " I Am Worthy" candle from www.anotherballofwax.com
I'm feeling good, great, and on another level.
My question to you is: Do you have a spiritual tool kit? Do you have go to tools that help ground you? If not, I suggest you find and create them. It doesn't have to be what I did. For some it might be creating, writing, singing, just breathing, cooking, say a specific affirmation, etc. Find what works for you.
One aspect of Honor Thy Body that's very important to me is fitness. Being physically active really does help me balance my mood and motivates me to push through life. Since the beginning of the year I've been doing 2 fitness challenges: at least 10mins of jump rope a day and run at least 1 mile per day. Well I regret to say I've missed 3 days haha but I'm still rocking with both challenges and it feels great.
The greatest thing about a challenge is understanding the psychology of it all. You actually get a perspective into your own level of commitment, excuses making, and patterns of consistency. If this was me last year I would have been so mad at myself for missing those days, but not 2015 Tiffany. I was still active those days, I just didn't go outside at all, so I didn't complete those days, and now I'm starting over, and I'm ok with that.
Well 5 days ago, a friend and wellness client of mine asked if I would find an ab challenge to do with her. I was excited because I haven't done much of abs in a while. I found this challenge and absolutely love it. Fitness in general for me is for physical and mental health, but ab work is for vanity and I'm ok with that too!
Take a stab at it for 30 days. The key to getting results is 80% nutrition so you MUST be watching what you eat. Lots of green veggies, lots of water (ideally half your body weight, but in oz of water), compelx carbs like brown rice, quinoa (keen-wah), sweet potatoes/yams (not southern style), cous cous, lentils, etc. Eat clean and do this ab challenge and I'm sure your tummy will look quite different at the end of 30days!
By: Tiffany W.
Always find a reason to keep going.
Life is a process, process takes action. Unlike a tree we cannot just BE still and expect life to take its course. We have to take some type of action and sometimes we just don't want to.
19 days in January and I already missed 3 days of some personal goals for myself. I didn't beat myself up but I had to dig deep to push myself to keep going.
You, and I, must keep yourself open to receiving the inspiration you need to live a life you deserve and BE who should and want to BE. You gave more power than you beleieve and the more you tap into it, the stronger the power gets. Honor your mjnd and spirit by really focusing in feeding it content that assures you of who you are
Our mundd is our greatest enemy. Creating limiting beliefs, doubts and stories of blame thus creating a life of struggle. BE assured that challenges will occur, but do you think they're meant to constantly keep you down? I know what it feels like to get caught up in your own mind. It happens to me when I get off track and don't use the tools I know that keep my mind, body, and spirit aligned and free of negative energy.
We all have access to a life of purpose and prosperity and I do believe we can easily flow into it if we are functioning in the right spiritual space. You can only flow when you focus on that flow. Yes, even BEing in flow takes focus. Whatever we want to BE, whatver whatever state we desire to BE in, must have a concentrated energy on that.